February 28, 2005
After more than a year and a half, I am finally organized and on a schedule! Iím proud to say that my house is clean and Iím finally got my loose ends tied up around the home here. Iím cooking in nearly 95% of the time thanks to dream dinners and Iím eating healthier. I have to say that I am a huge fan of the dream dinners (www.dreamdinners.com) because itís so easy and fast. Itís one of those places that you go, make 6 meals for a family of 6 and then take it home and freeze it. When you want to eat it, you defrost it and bake it. Itís simplified my life so much that itís worth every penny. This month I made creamy chicken bake, turkey meatloaf cordon bleu, London broil, egg rolls, and chicken Mirabella. My favorites turned out to be the creamy chicken bake and the turkey meatloaf. The majority of the meals are WW friendly so it is great. All I have to do is make the vegetable. Plus itís helping Chris out with his eating. ,/p>
Weight wise, Iím at 168 though my inches are finally dropping again! So even though the scale is not moving, Iím finally seeing some progress in my clothes getting looser. Iíve been tracking my points diligently, attending WW meetings 1 per week, and exercising between 4-6 days per week (minimum 3 at Curves and the rest with Walk Away The Pounds). Basically, all I can do is be patient with the weight to slowly creep off. Iíve also rethought my goal weight too. I always wanted to be 140 but itís not realistic for me so when the scale hits 155 at Weight Watchers, thatís going to be my goal. No offense but Iím so tired of paying them money so itís about time that I set a realistic goal of 155 because when I hit 158, I looked terrific. So Iím 13 pounds from goal and itís going to be the hardiest 13 pounds to lose. But I will stick with it. Iíve also accepted the fact that Weight Watchers is going to be a permanent fixture in my life because I need this program to help me ensure that the weight does not creep back on. I know that there is a direct correlation between gaining and not tracking so I need to stick with it. Iím just glad that Iím back on track now.
Things are going good with Chris and I. We are aggressively paying off the property and hope to have it paid off by July. Then weíre off to save for the house. We figure that we will build late in 2006 so that we can chunk down about $30K and hopefully we will have a low mortgage. Weíre going to be our own general contractors and do sweat equity with the house. It helps that Carrie and Dennis are now licensed builders so they are going to help us out a big deal. Chris was excited this weekend because we just bought a $400 2 person sailboat to sail on our lake near the property. Itís a speed sailboat so Iíve never seen anything like it. So he has his sailboat now and Iíll be patient for my pontoon boat. Yesterday, I actually handled being in Home Depot for an hour and I was not bored. This is a huge accomplishment because when I was young and I went to any type of building store I just went bonkers. I guess it is different when you are looking for yourself. Iíve found the perfect bungalow style windows by Andersen so I was pretty excited. Oh gosh, I do sound old now!
Things are going good with work. Even though my hours are long, Iím still being able to balance working out though Iím still eating really late but at least Iím not eating junk. Nothing is going on at work besides getting swamped with clients and being expected to turn around notes within 24 hours of contact. I swear I was so overwhelmed last week, I almost started to cry about it. I begged my boss not to give me anymore clients but there is nothing that we can do because we donít have enough therapists to go around. My case load is at an all time high plus my expected duties are also at an all time high. Iím expected to attend about 3-5 hours a week of community meetings then 4 hours per week of training with the DBT (Dialectical behavior training used primarily to treat borderline personality disorders) model and then somehow balance my 18 consumersÖso needless to say, that I have been putting too much stress on myself to be a good worker. I really like this DBT model because it similar to ďreframingĒ and controlling how you act and how your brain thinks. Even if you are not a borderline the stuff can really work on you. Iíve been applying it in my own life and itís super impressive. In the summer, Iím supposed to be co-leading a DBT group with teenagers so Iím just learning the ropes now. In May, they are sending me to a $3000 training for a week so itís a privilege to be doing this type of therapy. Iím amazed by how much my agency dumps into training me because it shows that they are invested and that makes me feel a little more secure. I would honestly love to be a lifer there because they are just so good to me. I always thought that I wanted to be a school social worker but now when looking at it, itís just not worth the hassle or the pay cut because I could imagine being back at the bottom of the pay scale. Hopefully I can stay there. At this point in life, Iím not planning on going anywhere.
So life is good! Iím back on track and have been since January. The weightloss is slow but at least I have not had a gain since December. Slowly I will take off this weight/inches and will meet goal. Itís worth all the effort because itís my health and Iím worth every penny. Take care all-Kellie
February 2, 2005
You know what I was thinking last night? June is only four months away! That means warm weather, cool breezes, and the beginning of summer. I absolutely hate the winter. It always makes me feel so ďfrozenĒ like just waiting for time to pass quickly. Spring and summer are so nice because you can be outside and just feel like living. Iím glad I got on program when I did so when summer comes around, I will be looking good. Iím down another .75 pounds so Iíll take that. I will feel a lot better when Iím back below 165. This round of WW is slow. When I weighed in last week, I almost started to put myself down with a .75 loss. I know that is stupid but I kind of cringe when Iím sitting there in the meeting and the weight loss leader comes around and gives stars to everyone...she goes to EVERYONE (thereís at least 50 in the class) and it makes me cringe to hear 3, 4,5 pounds in people. Yeah, Iím happy for them but in my weightloss history, I donít believe that I have ever lost more than 1.50 pounds per week. I just sit there in awe wondering how they are pulling off these big losses while I sit there with my .75 loss. Like I said, it was only for a moment but how is it that I get in that mode of putting myself down like my .75 is not accomplishment for me? I guess that is where my tools of reframing come in. I handled it like, ďwell, at least it was a lossĒďI know you worked hardĒ, etc. Itís just sad how that negative mode comes naturally at times. Speaking of weight watchers leaders, I miss my old one. I guess she got fired and Iím really having trouble with adjusting to the new one. The new one is nice but the meeting is soooo different. Itís more on here are this personís personal weight loss issues, here are some products that I found instead of focusing on how to eat more healthy. It just doesnít have the same feel so Iím really struggling with getting into it. I just need to get used to the new styles of the leader I guess.
One thing that I have been frustrated with lately is the people who are totally against any type of carbs. Me and the MIL (mother in law) got into a ďdiscussionĒ and she stated that she is going to eat around 20 carbs per day. Honestly, I donít see how this is realistic...I mean, how can you maintain a 20 carb or lower day? And what really blew my mind is that she was eating a ďlow carbĒ ice cream and it had 11 grams of fat in a 1/4c. Now, I think that is ridiculous. Who needs a 11 g of fat in a faux ice cream? I just donít get it. I know there are good carbs and bad carbs but how are people going to maintain this type of strict counting. I just hope this fad goes away and people just eat healthy. MIL exclaimed that SIL (sister in law) lost 10 pounds on eating minimal carbs so I think that is what getting her is that SIL is seeing results. MIL kept on stating that WW doesnít work for her anymore but you know what, after watching her, I kind of know why...she is not tracking the food. She is one of those BLTís people (BITE, LICK, TASTE) something is always in her mouth and it seems like she is not keeping track of it. Then she went into complaining that she has only lost 3 pounds in the last month. To me, that is success losing 3 pounds. Or maybe MIL is treating herself like I was in the WW meeting were I was comparing my .75 loss to 5 pounds as she was comparing her 3 to SIL 10 pounds...who know but it is frustrating because we all know that WW works, itís just how you use the program or how you donít use it.
Things are going good here. Life is busy but Iím attempting to keep up with it. My place is clean and tidy. Iím cooking in more at night thanks to the food networks Rachel Rayís 30 minute meals. Iíve gotten so many great recipes off of that show. I make them a little more WW friendly but oh, have I been eating good! Last night I had some marinate flank steak with some red potatoes with green onions in them and some broccoli with garlic in it. Yummy and it only took 30 minutes!
This Friday, Iím putting myself up for some new experiences where Iím meeting some newly married ladies from theknot.com. We are getting together and going to a place called ďDream DinnersĒ. Itís a 2 hour cooking place where you make all the food there (they provide you with everything) and you take it home and freeze it. I think this is a good idea because we throw out so much food that it isnít even funny. Plus, itís a good thing because Iím getting out there and meeting new people. Now thatís a hard thing to do when you are 29. Well, I hope you are all doing well and take care-Kellie