Ms. Bennett - All right class, it's time for our mid-year field trip. Where would
you like to go?
Upchuck - How bout' the Playboy Mansion?
Ms. Bennett - Charles, that is the sickest idea I've ever heard.
Kevin - How about.....uh....
Ms. Bennett - Anyone else?
Jodie - What if we all go to that new carnival/theme park in Charlestown?
Ms. Bennett - Jodie, that's a very good idea, all in favor?
Daria and Jane exchange glances and raise their hands
Ms. Bennett - All right, it's decided, but we need chaperones since our buses
are broken. Any volunteers?
Upchuck - My dad can drive.
Jane - My brother and his friend can too.
Kevin - I'll drive!
Ms. Bennett - Ok, I'll find a few more people later, class dismissed.
Daria - You sure Trent and Jesse can drive?
Jane - Maybe, what else is Trent doing next week. Remember, Trent doesn't
leave the house very often willingly.
Daria - Good point.
scene - Daria's house
Quinn - Hey mom, can you drive to Charlestown?
Helen - Quinn, why?
Quinn - It's like, our two classes are going to some new theme park or
Jake - that's great sweetie, but we both have to work. Sorry.
Helen - Well, who else is driving?
Quinn - Joey, Jeffy, Jamie, and Guy.
Daria - Trent, Jesse, Upchuck's dad, Kevin.
Jake - Wonderful.
A week later--
Ms. Barch - Tomorrow is our trip. Everyone who's driving needs to be here
by 10:00 am.
scene - The Lane House
Jane - Hey Trent, TRENT. STOP PLAYING YOUR GUITAR!!!!!
Trent - Huh?
Jane - I forgot to ask you, can you'll drive to Charlestown tomorrow?
Trent - Why?
Jane - I sorta told Ms. Bennett you guys would.
Trent - Janey, since you already told your teacher, Ok.
Jane - Thank you so much, how bout' you Jesse?
Jesse - I guess.
Jane - Great,Later.
scene - Next Day at School---
Upchucks dad - Heeee-llo, are you married?
Ms. Barch - Get away you man. Besides aren't you married?
Upchucks dad - no.
Upchuck - Yes you are.
Upchucks dad - Charles, shut up.
Jesse - That's your teacher?
Jane - Yeah, go say hi.
Trent - Hi.
Ms. Barch - Go away.
Jesse - What's with her?
Daria - Ever since her husband left her, she hates all men.
Trent - Yikes.
Ms. Bennett - All right everyone, get with your drivers and stay with them.
Jane - Well I guess it's just you, me, Trent, and Quinn.
Daria - Guess so.
Fashion Club enters--
Sandy - Are you like, Jesse?
Upchuck's dad - No, but you can ride with me anyway and we can...
Tiffany - Ewww.
Stacy - Are you Jesse?
Jesse - Yeah.
Sandy - Well, we're like riding with you.
Jane - Have fun Jesse.
Jesse gives Jane a mean look.
In the car---
Jane - You didn't introduce Trent and Quinn.
Daria - Trent, Quinn, Quinn, Trent, now you're acquainted.
Trent - Hey.
Quinn - Hi!
Jane - How's Lisa?
Daria - Lisa?
Jane - Trent's girlfriend.
Jesse - Why do you like me? Get away.
Sandy - But you're sooo cute.
Tiffany - Your eyes are so green.
Stacy - And you're hair is so wavy.
Sandy - And you're in a band!
All - (Sigh)
Jesse - (sigh) I hope this ride isn't long.
Sandy - I do.
Stacy - Me too.
Tiffany - Me too.
Quinn - (bored) I hope Sandy, Stacy, and Tiffany are having as good a time
All - You're so cute.
Jesse - No, I'm not.
Sandy - Yes, you are. Kiss me.
Tiffany - No me.
Stacy - No me.
Jesse - I'm not kissing anyone.
All - Pleeeeeaaaaase.
Jesse - NO.
They finally get to Charlestown. At the hotel---
Ms. Barch - You will stay in the same room as your driver. Today since we
got here so late, you all will get unpacked and get used to the hotel. Here are
your room keys.
Jesse - Room 777.
Stacy - 7's our lucky number, if you know what I mean.
Jesse - (sigh)
Trent - Room 715.
Daria - Great.
Jane - Hey Jesse, how do you like the Fashion Club?
Jesse - They love me.
Stacy - Can we marry you?
Jesse - See what I mean?
Trent - Yeah, glad they don't like me.
Jane - You already have one admirer.
Trent - Shirley Schultz.
Jane - No, her. (points to Daria)
Daria - Jane, shut up.
Trent - Daria?
Jane - Yes Daria.
Daria - I can answer my own questions.
Trent - Ok.
Ms. Bennett - Everyone to your rooms.
In the rooms--- Trent is being unusually quiet.
Jane - Why so quiet bro?
Trent - No reason. Yo never should've told me Daria liked me.
Daria - Yeah.
Jane - Why?
Trent - I hate knowing I'm liked.
Quinn - I'm being left out of this conversation.
Trent and Jane stare at Quinn.
Quinn - What?
Trent - Anyway...
Daria - Anyway what?
Trent - Nothing.
In Jesse's room---
Tiffany - Sandy, what should I wear tomorrow? My MINI skirt or my blue
Sandy - I dunno, I'll wear my MINI skirt if you will.
Stacy - Me too.
Sandy - Let's all wear our MINI skirts, isn't that a good idea?
Stacy - Shouldn't we tell Quinn about our MINI skirt thing?
Tiffany - Let's call her. Jesse, can we use the phone?
Jesse - I don't care.
Sandy - Thanks!
On the phone
Quinn - Hello?
Sandy - Hi Quinn, we're all gonna wear our MINI skirts tomorrow, wear yours.
Quinn - Which one?
Sandy - Umm, the orange one.
Quinn - Ok, bye.
Sandy - Wait. Did you see our driver?
Quinn - Sure, he's ok. You?
Sandy - He is sooooooo awesome!!!!!
Quinn - Describe.
Sandy - The tall wavy haired guy.
Quinn - Oh. (surprised)
Sandy - Bye.
Quinn - Bye.
Tiffany - I'm gonna take a bath.
Jesse - Now for the other two to leave. Sandy, Stacy, go get some ice and a
few extra pillows.
Stacy and Sandy - Sure!!!
Jesse - Peace and quiet. (picks up the phone)
Trent - Hello?
Jesse - HELP!!! Get me out of this room. I hate those three girls.
Trent - Sorry, I can't help it.
Jesse - I sent them for ice and pillows.
Trent - Nice thinking, you're not the only one who has three people like them.
Jesse - Who likes you?
Trent - Lisa, Shirley, and Daria.
Jesse - Daria? Cool, bye.
Trent - Bye.
Stacy - Jesse, we're back!!!!
Jesse - Where's the ice?
Sandy - We spilled it.
Jesse - I'll go get it.
Daria - Hey Jane, what time is it?
Jane - I dunno, there's no clock in here.
Quinn - It's 7:00 pm.
Jane - How did you know that?
Quinn - Watch.
Trent - Hey Quinn, why don't you go find your fashion friends and tell Jesse
to come here.
Quinn - Yeah bye.
In Jesse's room ---
Jesse - Hi Quinn.
Quinn - Jesse, go to my room, that Trent guy want's to talk to you.
Jesse - Thank god. (leaves)
Sandy - Isn't he cute????
Quinn - Him, not really.
Stacy - His eyes.
Sandy - His hair.
Tiffany - His band.
All - (sigh)
Jesse - I can't get over this, they love me.
Jane - Who?
Jesse - The Fashion Club. You know a way to get them to hate me?
Jane - Tell them you're gay.
All stare at Jane.
Jane - Just an idea.
Trent - You could......I dunno.
Daria - Get one of those sleeping pills and drug em'. That would shut them
up. Believe me, I've tried it.
Jane - I remember when you gave Quinn those sleeping pills.
Trent - Isn't that sorta bad?
Daria - Why?
Sandy - He is sooooooo cute!!!!
Upchuck - Hello ladies. Were you talking about me?
Stacy - You, ugh.
Upchuck - Than who were you talking about?
Tiffany - Jesse. You don't know him.
Upchuck - Fine, I'll leave.
Walks outside into the hall.
Upchuck - Hmmm, I'll go see someone else.
Trent's room ---
Jane - so that's why Quinn eats apples?
Daria - Yep.
Upchuck - Hello, What are you talking about?
Upchuck - Were you talking about me?
Jane - No.
Jesse - Who's he?
Trent - I dunno Jesse, who are you?
Upchuck - I'm Chuck Ruttheimer.....you're Jesse?
Jesse - Yeah.
Upchuck - Those girls in room 777 are nuts about you.
Jesse - I know, now go away.
Upchuck frowns and leaves.
Trent - You shouldn't have told him to leave, you should've beat him up.
Jesse - You're right.
Ms. Bennett enters.
Ms. Bennett - Jesse, go back to your room. It's time for bed. (leaves)
Jesse - It's 8:00 pm? Oh well, wish me luck.
Trent - Why?
Jesse - I have to spend the rest of the night with the Fashion Club.
Jane - Right, good luck.
Daria and Trent - Good luck. (Jesse leaves)
Quinn - (entering) I don't believe Sandy, Stacy, and Tiffany are so into Jesse.
Well I'm not gonna like him. Personally, you (referring to Trent) have way
cuter eyes, and hair, and you're in a band too.
Trent - Damn.
Quinn - You know what, I like you.
Trent - I think it's time for bed.
Jane - But, we haven't eaten. Let's call room-service!
picks up the phone--
Hotel Guy- Yes?
Jane - This is room 715, we'd like....
Quinn - Salad and an apple.
Trent - Cheeseburger.
Daria - Lasagna.
Jane - We'd like one cheeseburger, one salad, one apple, one plate of
lasagna, one grilled cheese sandwich, what do you want to drink?
Trent - Coke.
Daria - Coke.
Quinn - Water.
Jane - Three cokes and one water, pronto!
Hotel Guy - Ok, charge to...
Jane - Chuck Ruttheimer. Bye. Now we have food.
Some time later a knock on the door--
Hotel Guy - An apple for Ms. Taylor and ice-cream and condoms for Mr.
Jane - I think you got us mixed up with another room.
Hotel Guy - My mistake.
Daria - What did he want?
Jane - He got our rooms mixed up. Kevin and Brittany ordered ice-cream, an
apple, and condoms?
Quinn - Speaking of which, where's my apple?
Knock on the door--
Trent - Yeah?
Hotel Guy -Morgendorffers, Lanes?
Daria - Finally.
Trent - Who are Kevin and Brittany?
Daria - The blonde cheerleader and the football player.
Trent - Why does she always wear that outfit? She probably smells bad.
Jane - I have no idea.
Next morning 7:00 am. Phone rings.
Jesse - Hello? (still half asleep)
Hotel Guy - Wake up call.
Jesse - Sandy, Stacy, Tiffany, get up.
Sandy - Mommy, no.
Jesse - It's me, Jesse.
Sandy - Jesse! (sits up) Hi, good morning.
Jesse - Hey.
Stacy - What's going on? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jesse - What?!
Stacy - My hair!!!!
Tiffany - Here, my styling brush!
Stacy brushes her hair and calms down Ms. Barch walks in.
Ms. Barch - Get up and be at your car for 9:30.
Jesse - Ok. (Ms. Barch leaves)
Jesse - How did she get our room key anyway?
Ms. Barch goes into Trent's room.
Ms. Barch - Everyone...WAKE UP!!!!
Jane - Huh?
Ms. Barch - Trent, be at your car at 9:30 bye.
Trent - What did she say?
Daria - She said be at your car for 9:30. Then she left.
Trent - Oh.
Daria - QUINN!!!
Quinn - What, what is it?
Jane - Get up.
Trent - It's 7:00 am.
Quinn - On a Saturday? And I'm up? Wake me up in time for breakfast.
Jane - Well, I'm going to get some food, anyone else hungry?
Daria - Sort of.
Trent - A little.
Everyone changes clothes and goes to the lobby for breakfast.
Trent - We can have...doughnuts?! Nice menu.
Waitress - Nothin's ready. come back later.
Walking down the halls ...
Trent - Jesse?
Jesse - Whatta you doin' in the halls so early?
Trent - We went for breakfast, but nothin's ready.
Sandy - Hey Quinn's cousin, where's Quinn?
Daria - Asleep. Why are you all wearing mini skirts?
Stacy - I just like MINI skirts.
Jesse - (whispering to Trent) I wish they'd stop with the mini skirt thing.
Fashion Club and Jesse go into Trent's room
All: Hi Quinn!
Quinn - Get OUT!!!
Jesse - I have an idea, let's all go back to sleep!
Everyone sleeps till 8:30.
Stacy - I think we'd better getup again.
Sandy - Yeah, maybe breakfast is done.
Tiffany - I hope so.
Daria - QUINN!!!!!!!!
Quinn - What, what? (yawns)
Daria - It's 8:30, let's go eat.
Quinn - Ok. AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Trent - What?
Quinn - My hair!!
Jane is laughing at it.
Quinn - Don't laugh, gimme a brush. (Quinn brushes her hair and they go for
Waitress -All right, 5 boxes of Frosted Flakes, Pancakes, Eggs, Cheerios,
and a Danish.
Daria - Since when do you like Danishes?
Quinn - Since I'm not hungry.
Eat and go back to their room
Jane - Hey, it's 9:00!
Trent - In a half an hour, we'll be at the theme park.
Daria - For once, I'm excited.
Knock on the door ---
Trent - (yelling) Come in!!
Sandy - Can we like, borrow your nail polish?
Quinn - Why?
Sandy - We need some to match our outfits, and so we'll look good for
Quinn - He doesn't care about your nails. Daria, where's my nail polish?
Daria -Do I go through your stuff?
Quinn - Here it is, can I go help you choose lipstick?
Sandy - Sure. (leaves)
Jane - So it's just us now. Daria, if I would leave, your morning would be
perfect. You and Trent alone.
Daria - Shut up.
Ms. Bennett - Here's a map to the theme park, meet at the front gate, I have
Stacy - I wanna sit up front with Jesse.
Tiffany - No me.
Sandy - No me.
Jesse - I don't care what you do.
Sandy - We'll all sit up front with Jesse!
At the park ---
Ms. Bennett - Here are your tickets.
Jane - What do we do first?
Daria - Rollercoaster.
Quinn - Hey Trent, or whatever, ride that rollercoaster with me?
Trent - No.
Quinn - It'll be fun.
Trent - Do I like fun?
Quinn - Yes. (drags him in line)
Trent - I uhh, just ate, maybe I shouldn't do this...
Quinn - Go ride something with Daria.
Jesse - Stop, I'm not going on the Tunnel of Love with any of you.
Stacy - Why not?
Jesse - I don't love any of you.
Sandy - Love can mean lo's of things.
Jane - This ride is gonna be 3 minutes long and we stand in line forever...
there's something wrong with this.
Trent - Janey, can I cut you?
Jane - No, but get behind me.
Trent - What you ridin'?
Daria - Death Coaster, it's got three loops in it!
Jane - You two sit together, I'll ride alone.
Jesse - Can I cut you?
Jane - Sit with me.
Jesse - Ok.
Worker - Next!
Jane - That's us.
Daria and Trent get in the seat in front of Jane and Jesse.
The ride starts and stops after the first loop.
Loudspeaker - There have been technical difficulties. Don't be alarmed.
Jane - Damn.
Daria - We're stuck at the top of a rollercoaster, just peachy.
Upchuck - Hello ladies, I didn't know you were on this ride?
Daria - Upchuck, go away.
Upchuck - Is that your *boyfriend?*
Daria shoots Upchuck a mean look
Upchuck - Do you mind if I take those 3 girls off your hands?
Jesse - Keep em.
Voice - Jesse?
Jesse - Who said that?
Voice - Jesse, don't you remember me?
Voice - In front of the red-headed guy.
(a brunette with Quinn's figure, brown hair, a red shirt, a black skirt, and
Jesse - Who are you?
Voice - Crystal, your cousin.
Jesse - Crystal, last time I saw you you were like 8.
Crystal - Well you were like 12 or 13. Hey, your voice has stopped
squeaking! Why are you here anyway?
Jesse - Field trip.
Crystal - You're still in school!?
Jesse - No, I drove for my friend.
Crystal - Who's the friend?
Jane - Me.
Crystal - Hi, I'm Crystal.
Jesse - Why you here?
Crystal - I live here. Oh yeah, I'm going to live with ya in Lawndale. Mom's in
jail and dad isn't the best person to live with.
Jesse - That's Jane, Trent, and Daria.
Trent - Huh?
Daria - Hi.
Loudspeaker - The ride is fixed, Hold on!
Safely on the ground---
Daria - That was fun.
Jane - That was Cool!!! Daria, did you have fun?
Daria - Yeah, uhh, why?
Jane - You were staring at him the whole time. I saw you.
Daria - Well ,you were staring at Jesse.
Crystal - What's it like in Lawndale?
Jane - A little bland, but with all the adventures we have....like when we went
to Alternapalooza and Daria..
Daria - Shut Up.
Jane - I wasn't gonna talk about how embarrassed you were around...
Crystal - Trent?
Jane - How'd you know?
Crystal - I used to have a crush on him too. Now I like Jason.
Jesse - Jason?
Crystal - I'll introduce you later.
Jesse - We're going back to Lawndale tomorrow, wanna come with us?
Crystal - Sure!
Voice - Cryst...
Crystal - That's Jason, I gotta go tomorrow, write me, or I'll call you.
The day goes boringly otherwise
Back at the hotel---
Ms. Barch - Go to sleep.
Jane - Night Jesse.
Jesse - Good night Jane.
In the room---
Trent - So basically, this trip is pretty good.
Daria - Compared to Alternapalooza.
Jane - I'm pretty tired, we should go to sleep because...Trent?
Daria - Your brother is already asleep.
Jane - (shrugs) Well I should sleep too.
The next morning--
Ms. Barch - Get up.
Daria - Ok (half asleep) Jane, Trent, Quinn get up.
Trent - Lisa.......(mumbling in his sleep)
Jane - Huh?
Quinn - Go away. (put's pillow over her head.)
Jane - What's going on?
Daria - Trent was mumbling something about Lisa.
Ms. Bennett comes in.
Jane - Ms. B, can we leave early?
Ms. Bennett - Why?
Jane - We have to go pick up Jesse's cousin.
Ms. Bennett - Ok.
The go and wake up Jesse.
Trent - Jesse, wake up.
Jesse - Mommy.... Oh, hi Trent.
Trent - Shouldn't we go get Crystal.
Jesse - Yeah.
At Crystal's house---
Jesse - Hey Cryst. Let's go.
Crystal - Ok.
Jane - Daria why did we even go with them?
Back in Lawndale Jesse and Crystal have already gone home.
Quinn - Well, here's my house, bye Trent. (get's out.)
Trent - Bye Daria.
Daria - Bye Trent.
Trent - When's your next field trip, I'd like to drive for you again.
Daria - I dunno, bye.
(Jane gives Daria that "you go girl" look, winks and they drive off)
The scene ends with Daria smiling.