"Daria's Halloween Extravaganza"
By Tara May
All characters are copyright of MTV but this story is mine. And if you are
MTV and would like to sue me there is no point cause I have no money.
Act 1- Lawndale High Auditorium-
It's Friday afternoon and the students are all seated and shouting across
the room. Paper air planes are flying everywhere. Daria and Jane just sit
expressionless near the front. Principal Li comes onto the stage and
addresses the students. Wadded up paper balls come flying at her from
somewhere in the crowd.
Li: Students! STUDENTS!
They get quiet and wait for Ms. Li.
Li: All right ladies and gentlemen. We are here to discuss the Halloween
Masquerade Ball on Saturday. Which is tomorrow. Don't forget! We will be
using the proceeds to buy a new set of bleachers. Seeing as how our other
bleachers got trashed when the opposing football team went insane and jumped
on them till they collapsed. Anyone who would like to attend must be in full
costume. You must also have a date or you will not be allowed in. If I find
out that the punch was spiked there will be no more dances for the rest of
the year. Got that?
Crowd: Yes sir!
Li mumbles to herself: Stupid brats...
Everyone starts filing out of the auditorium. Daria and Jane just slowly
walk out. Jane dodges an oncoming paper airplane.
Jane: So...Any chance we're gonna make an appearance at the dance?
Daria: I was thinking about it..and no.
They stop by their lockers.
Jane: Oh come ON Daria. It would be fun.
Daria: Only if you're idea of fun is dressing like an idiot and getting
drunk off of spiked punch.
Jane: You betcha.
Daria sighs: We wouldn't be able to get dates anyway.
Jane: I'm sure we could. Jesse and Trent have nothing better to do.
Daria gets a look of horror on her face.
Daria: No way in hell.
Jane: But Trent would love it. Maybe he'd even dress up. He could pretend to
be a prep.
Daria: Yeah. Just as soon as I would get a huge modeling career and leave
you for New York.
Jane: Daria! This is your big chance with Trent. You could dress up as a
witch or something and Trent could be a vampire. It'd be COOL! Plus Jesse
probably wouldn't go unless Trent does.
Daria gets a look as though she knows she's beaten.
Jane: Now I just have to ask them. You wanna come over and watch the new
episode of Sick Sad World? I hear it has suicidal teenage girls in it.
Daria: Sounds cool. Be there at eight if I haven't hung myself in the attic
Jane: Okay. See ya then!
They head their separate ways and scene fades.
Act 2- The Morgendorffer House-
The Morgendorffers are sitted at the dinner table eating , what else, but
Quinn: But Moooooooom! I need the two hundred bucks to buy this really sexy
Helen: What do you want be honey?
Quinn: It's this really cool costume of a devil.
Daria voice overthought: Suits her just perfectly.
Quinn: It goes perfect with my new lipstick.
Helen: I just don't have that kind of money! Ask your father.
Jake looks up from the paper.
Quinn: Daddy, can I have two hundred bucks to buy my Halloween costume?
Jake: Two hundred dollars! AH AHHHH! Oh god! Helen! My eye!
Daria: Where's the camera?
Helen: Be quiet Daria. Jake come on. Let's get you to the emergency room.
Quinn leaves exasperated from the room.
Daria decides to call Jane. She can't stand another minute in that house.
Daria to herself: Come on Jane. Pick up.
Daria: I need to get out of this house. Her highness is trying to get my mom
and dad to buy her a two hundred dollar costume. She wants to be a devil.
She doesn't even need the costume. But at least she knows what she wants to
be. I'll probably end up going to the dance as some hideous with or
Jane: Sounds cool. Me and Trent will be around to pick you up in a minute. I
haven't told him about our plan yet.
Daria: Your plan.
Jane: Partners in crime.
Daria: Hurry up.
She hangs up the phone and gets her overnight bag. Stuffs it with her
pajamas. Which consist of a large black t-shirt and green shorts. She also
puts in stuff like toothpaste and a brush. Ever since she found mold in the
toothpaste at Jane's house she's always brought all her own stuff.
Daria hears a car horn honk outside. She runs down the stairs and yells to
Quinn she's leaving. She walks out the door to Trent's beat up old car.
Jane's in the front seat and of course Trent's driving. Daria climbs into
the back. She tries to avoid the old pizza.
Jane: Hi Daria.
Trent: Hey Daria.
Daria: Um, hey.
Jane: Daria, excited about watching TV?
Daria: No. I'm looking forward to a night without Quinn. No nail-polish, and
no hairspray fumes. My dad's in the hospital right now because he broke
another blood vessel in his eye. And my mom wouldn't even let me take a
Trent chuckles and coughs.
Trent: Good one Daria.
Daria: Er, thanks.
They pull up to the Lane house.
Trent: Okay. We're here.
Daria (vo): Duh.
Daria: Okay Jane. We've got to talk. In your room.
Trent raises an eyebrow.
Trent: Girl talk?
Jane: Since when does Daria do anything that normal?
Trent: Good point. (Chuckles then coughs)
Jane: Come on.
They head up to Jane's room. They walk in and turn on Sick Sad World. Sure
enough it's about suicidal teenagers.
Announcer: This week on Sick Sad World, teenage girls who thought they were
just too pretty to live.
Daria: Maybe if Quinn got just a little bit cuter...
Daria smiles. Barely.
Jane: Now what is it you wanted to talk about.
Daria: This Halloween party. I don't think it's going to work. No way am I
going to be able to play it cool with Trent there.
Jane: Don't worry Daria. Trent's oblivious. If a Tornado went through the
his room he wouldn't even wake up.
Jane: Besides. There's no way I'm gonna let you back out now. This is the
perfect chance to humiliate Quinn in front of a large group of people.
Daria: hmmmmm.... Okay.
Jane: Good lets go ask Trent.
Daria murmurs something dirty under her breath.
Jane: Ahhh.. Getting into the Halloween spirit a little early aren't we?
Daria: Shut up Jane. Let's get this over with.
They head down to the basement. One Week by Barenaked Ladies is playing on
Trent's stereo turned up full blast. Trent seems to have passed out after
picking up Daria.
Jane: Trent! TRENT!
She picks up a bean bag chair and chucks it at him.
Trent bolts upright with a dazed expression on his face.
Trent: I was only going 35 officer! Oh, hey Daria. Hey Janey. What the hell
was that for?
Jane: I needed to ask you something and you were in your normal comatose
Daria thought voice over: And he will soon emerge as a butterfly.
Jane: You see, there's this Halloween dance at school and we need dates to
go. Can you ask Jesse if he wants to go?
Jane: Daria still needs a date. Will you go with her?
Trent: Okay. Do I have to dress up?
Trent: Can I spike the punch?
Jane raises an eyebrow: No.
Daria gets a relieved look. Or something resembling relieved.
Daria: You don't have to go Trent.
Trent: It's okay. It'll be cool. I can bug Ms. Li.
Trent looks devilish.
Daria looks worried.
Jane: It's this Saturday. The only reason Daria is going is so she can
humiliate her sister.
Daria: And it's the only time of the year when I can almost feel normal.
Jane: How so?
Daria: No reason.
Ding dong. Doorbell rings.
Trent: That must be Jesse. I can ask him if he wants to go to the party.
Jane: We've got to be going now, don't we Daria?
Daria: Uh, yeah.
Trent: Bye Janey, Daria.
They head back on up to Jane's room. Another episode of Sick Sad World was
Jane: So Daria, how are you planning to humiliate your sister?
Daria: I was thinking of going up to her when she's with her little fashion
groupies and talking about how are mom had said for Quinn to get home early.
Then I'll take out the baby pictures.
Jane: That's mean Daria. I love it. Now just to figure out what to be. Maybe
I'll go as a big piece of abstract art.
Daria: Go as a baked potato and wrap yourself in foil.
Jane looks interested.
Jane: Anymore ideas?
Daria: You're supposed to be the creative one.
Jane: That's what I try to make people THINK. Don't let it get out, okay?
Daria: Your secret is safe with me. Until I need a reason to blackmail you.
Jane: I say we go shopping tomorrow. Maybe hit Dega Street. I know Trent
will take us. Maybe we can find some goth clothes and we can both go as
Daria: Yeah, and Trent's gonna go as a mushroom.
Jane: hmmmm... inspiration.
Jane: an inspiration for a painting.
Jane takes out her easel and starts to paint a picture of Trent sitting on a
mushroom with his guitar.
Daria: That's pretty cool Jane.
Jane: You likes?
Daria: Yeah, cool mushroom.
Jane: Sure. Okay, anyway. I say it's time to hit the sack. I'm beat.
Daria: Yeah. I'm sure throwing a beanbag at Trent has really worn you out.
Jane: Uh huh.
They each lie down on opposites sides of the bed and go to sleep.
Cheesy sun rise seen to show time passing.
Daria wakes up and stretches. She sees Jane has already left the room.
Daria thought voice over: I'm gonna get her for not waking me up.
Daria walks downstairs looking for Jane. She finds her in the kitchen trying
to assemble a decent costume. It looks like a long floor length black gown
with huge draping black sleeves. She's trying to sew a huge black spider to
Daria: What are you going to be? Morticia Addams?
Daria: Cool. Wish I'd thought of that. I still don't know what I'm going to
Jane: I like the baked potato idea.
Daria: Maybe I'll go as Quinn. Now that would be scary.
Jane: I can't see you as a Quinn. Maybe a psychopath come back from the
Daria: Maybe I'll just go as a vampire. Spooky and traditional.
Jane: That's a great idea Daria. We'll dress you up like a freak and then go
up to the Fashion Snots and tell them you're Quinn's sister.
Daria: It could work. I wonder what Trent's gonna be.
Jane: Sometimes it seems as if he's actually a vampire. I mean. He's hardly
ever up during daylight hours.
Daria: It's probably just a side effect of being in a band.
Jane: Let's go wake up Sleeping Beauty and see if he has anything for you to
She turns to leave but Daria stops her.
Daria: Actually. I'm sure I can find something at my house. I want it to be
Daria: I'm gonna go home now and you can pick me up tonight at around seven.
Jane: Sure thing.
Daria runs upstairs, gets her things then leaves.
Act 3- The Morgendorffer Residence.
When she gets home she raids Quinn's closet. She goes for the far corners
for things Quinn doesn't wear anymore. Then she goes through Quinn's jewelry
box. Finds what she needs and leaves. She puts on the outfit she chooses and
goes into the bathroom. She puts on a lot of makeup.
Daria says to herself: Oh, Dear God! Daria, what are you doing to yourself?
She finishes her makeup and does her hair. She puts on some jewelry. She
takes a look at the final product and decides she needs a drink. She goes
downstairs and gets a soda out of the fridge. She hears a car pull up.
Daria: I guess Quinn's back from her date.
She doesn't want to spoil the surprise for Quinn so she runs into her room
and locks her door.
Quinn: Hello! I'm hooome.
Quinn heads up to her room to change into her costume. It's about five
thirty. Somehow she got Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie, to chip in and buy her the
costume. She goes into her room and an hour later emerges with a clinging
red leotard and red cape. Quinn has on black horns, black lipstick, and red
eyeshadow. She has a red pitchfork. She hears a car horn honk and walks
Quinn: My dates here. Now, I gotta go now, bye!
She rushes out of the house into Skyler's new Jag. Daria hears that she's
gone and comes downstairs. She sees that she has a half an hour till Jane
gets there so she reapplies the colored hairspray.
Act 4- The dance.
A half an hour later Daria hears Trent's car's horn. She grabs her fangs and
puts them in. She walks out to the car and both Trent and Jane stare in
amazement. Daria's wearing a black leather jacket, neon pink shirt
underneath, she has green hair, black lipstick, and a studded choker collar.
She's wearing clip on silver hoops like both Jane and Trent have for
earrings. She grins and shows her fangs. She sees that Jane is in the back
so climbs in beside her.
Jane stammers: Uh uh uh, Daria?
Daria smiles and looks innocent: Hmmm?
Jane: What have you done to yourself?
Daria: I just got into the spirit of humiliating Quinn.
Trent: You look really hot Daria.
Daria: Er, thanks.
Daria can't see what Trent's wearing. But she can tell that Jesse is dressed
like a caveman.
They pull up to the school and can hear Michael Jackson's Thriller blasting
from the gym.
Daria: Guess the party started without us.
Jane: Go figure.
They get out of the car and Daria finally gets to see what Trent is wearing.
He has on a black tux and a black cape that goes down all the way to floor. He
slicked back his hair and is extremely pale. He has a red necklace with a gold
pendant. He smiles to reveal his fangs.
Jane: Weird minds think alike.
Jesse: Come on guys. Let's go in.
He takes Jane by the arm and they walk into the school.
Trent holds his arm out to Daria.
Trent: Shall we?
Daria blushes: Yeah.
They walk in after Jane and Jesse. The music is deafening. Thriller is still
Trent says something in that hoarse voice of his but has to try hard because
of the fangs.
Trent: Care to dance?
He ends up saying with almost a Transylvanian accent.
She sees that Jane and Jesse are already boogieing so decides to join in.
Daria: Uh, sure.
They head out to the dance floor and Trent and Daria dance in time to the
music. Near the end of the song Trent spins her and thin twirls her back to
him. At the last second of the song he dips her. Daria tries to keep her
usual monotone expression but still looks very surprised. She sees Quinn
with her Fashion groupies and decides it's time. The Twilight Zone song
Daria: Trent, thanks for the dance. Now I have something I need to attend
She looks over to where Quinn is. Trent follows her line of sight.
Daria: Catch you later.
Trent looks disappointed. Daria has a malicious glint in her eye. She
approaches the group.
Quinn: No Sandi! You're the cutest.
Sandi: No way Quinn. You are ,like, definitely the cutest.
They see Daria approaching and they all get disgusted looks on their faces.
Quinn has a look of horror and outrage.
Daria looks at Quinn and smiles: Hello sis.
The Fashion 3: What?!
Quinn: Oooooohhh! Daria! How many times have I told you not to bug me when
I"m with my friends.
Daria: But Quinn, I'm your sister. By the way, Mom said to be home by
Sandi, Stacey, Tiffany: Sister? Quinn, your sisters with this...this....BRAIN?!
Quinn: Uh, uh, uh, ahhhh!
She runs crying from the room. Daria has a very satisfied smile.
Daria walks over to where Jane, Trent and Jesse had been watching.
Jane: Way to go Daria!
Trent: That was pretty cool Daria.
Jane: You do know that you won't be able to have peace with Quinn until she
Daria: Can't wait.
Jesse tugs at Jane's arm.
Jane: Okay, okay, caveman, let's go get some eats.
Daria who still looks damn pleased with herself: Hmmm?
Trent: Victory dance?
Daria looks surprised but tries to hide it and blushes.
Two become One by Spice Girls is playing. (You gotta admit. That's pretty
They head out to the dance floor. Daria leans into Trent and puts her head
on his shoulder.
Upchuck comes up to them.
Upchuck: Hello Daria. May I cut in?
Daria stomps on his foot and Upchuck winces.
Upchuck: Ow! Feeeeeeisty!
Trent and Daria continue to dance until the song is over and then go to
stand by Jane and Jesse.
Jane: Hey Bro.
Trent: Hey Janey.
Ms. Li approaches a microphone in the corner of the gym. She's dressed as a
witch. Go figure.
Ms. Li: Excuse me students. It is now time for the last song of the evening.
It is the YMCA.
Daria: You think you can escape the chipperness for one night. But no...
Jane: Come on Daria.
Daria: Fine. Trent?
Trent: Okay. Jesse?
They stand in a line and the music starts. A couple of students have
microphones and are singing with background music. They are singing a very
interesting version of the YMCA. The first few lines are the same until...
Singers: dun dun dun dun dun...It's fun to die down in H-E-L-L. Dun dun dun
dun dun dun. H-E-L-L.
Daria: Now this I can get into.
The next verse comes up. "Dun dun dun dun dun....It's fun to die and lie
The song ends and students start filing out. Ms. Li looks pissed.
Ms. Li: Who is responsible for this?! I did not agree cursing to go on in my
school! This will not be tolerated. If I find out who did this you will be
spending all summer in detention!
Daria: Come on. Lets get out of here. If I was seen dancing then I don't
know if I'll be able to show up in school on Monday.
Jane: Good Daria. Finely something normal. You were kinda starting to get
weird when you started dancing.
Daria: Shut up.
Jane: Nice hair by the way. Growing mold?
Daria thought voice over: Actually yes.
Daria: What the hell do you think.
Jane: Um.. No?
Daria: Good answer. Come on. Lets go. I've humiliated Quinn in front of her
friends. My life is fulfilled. Now let me get home to my average existence
of cynicism and sarcasm.
Jane: Nice jacket too.
Daria: Shut up Jane.
They pile into the car. Jane and Daria in the back. Trent driving and Jesse
passed out in shotgun.
Jane: How dare he take shotgun when he's not even awake to enjoy it?
Trent: How about music?
He turns on the radio. I will buy you a new life by Everclear is on. They
pull up to Daria's house and she gets out.
Daria: Bye Jane. Bye Trent.
Jane: See ya Daria.
Trent: Bye Daria.
She walks into the house and sees Quinn passed out on the couch still in her
costume. Daria grabs the camera and snaps a picture.
Daria: Perfect blackmail incase of annoying new boyfriends. Or annoying
She puts the picture in her pocket and walks up to her room with a satisfied
smile on her face.