“Fast Times at Lawndale High”
by Danny Bronstein


Scene 1:
April 5, 1995. Milton Junior High School, during an assembly. As Jane sits
drinking a soda, the girls a couple of rows back keep shooting little wads
of paper at her from straws. Finally Jane gets fed up, takes her straw and
blows a wad of paper back at them. It misses and hits Ms. Eisler square in
the eye. Ms. Eisler screams.

Scene 2: At Lawndale High, outside Mr. O’Neill’s class.

Student 1: All right, today, let’s everyone sit somewhere besides where
they sat before.

Student 2: Oh, man, that’s brilliant! Mr. O’Neill’s gonna freak!

Student 3: This is gonna be so funny!

(Mr. O’Neill arrives.)

O’Neill: Hello, class. Sorry about the delay. (Unlocks door, the class
follows him and sits down at the desks.)

O’Neill: OK, today, we’re going to read an article by one of my favorite
writers. His work has been described as Orwellian. Can anyone describe what
Orwellian means? (looks at seating chart.) Craig? Craig?

Jennifer: I’m not Craig.

Craig: I’m Craig. (class laughs.)

O’Neill: Yes, that’s... very funny, class. Let’s see if anyone else can
answer the question. (looks at seating chart.) Jonathan?

Ben: I’m Ben.

Jonathan: I’m Jonathan. (class laughs.)

O’Neill: Well, I’m glad you find this amusing, class. Trying to confuse me
like that.

Tommy: So what are YOU gonna do about it?

O’Neill: I’ll have you know... (looks at seating chart, where Tommy is
sitting it says “Luisa Rodriguez”) ...uh, sir, that that kind of tone can
get you a referral.

Tommy: Ooh, I’m so SCARED! Big bad teacher is gonna send me to the
principal! (class laughs.)

O’Neill: Ahem. Moving on, Orwellian defines the style of George Orwell, who
wrote stories about the dangers of a totalitarianist government. He wrote
Animal Farm and Brave New World.

Shelly: Orwell didn’t write Brave New World!

Jesse: Yeah, get your facts straight, dude! (class laughs.)

O’Neill: (to himself) Strange. I didn’t make mistakes like that before.

Scene 3: The principal’s office, at Milton Junior High. Principal Weinrib
is a twitchy, nervous fellow with a balding head and thick glasses. He’s
sitting across from Jane and her mother, Amanda, who is seen only from the

Weinrib: Mrs. Lane, I’m terribly sorry to have called you in here on such
short notice, but it seems that your daughter, Jane, was involved in an
incident at school today that may have injured one of our faculty. She
appears to have hit Ms. Eisler in the eye with a projectile of some sort.

Amanda: Jane, is this true?

Jane: I was fighting back, Mom.

Weinrib: Whatever it is you were doing, Jane, I can’t guarantee you that
Ms. Eisler won’t try to take legal action. Mrs. Lane, we are not unaware
that your daughter has been experiencing certain... problems here at
Milton. Problems fitting in. We feel that it reflects a low level of self
esteem, and it is for that reason that we suggest that she take a course
that we’re offering here at Milton for girls like her.

Amanda: You’re saying you want my daughter to take a self-esteem course.
Weinrib: Yes, we feel that it will be beneficial to her. She might be able
to fit in better.

Amanda: Oh, bull-shit, Mr. Weinrib. Look, you think I’m not aware that my
daughter is different from the other girls? That she can’t relate to them?
Do you think that’s based on low self-esteem?

Weinrib: Well, I--

Amanda: Girls her age are mean. They talk about nothing but makeup and boys
and shun girls who don’t talk about makeup and boys. Do you think that my
daughter has low self esteem just because she doesn’t talk about makeup and

Weinrib: I feel that the other girls isolate her because of the way she
carries herself.

Amanda: And you feel that a self-esteem course is going to change that.

Weinrib: Yes.

Amanda: Look, I don’t know what it is my daughter did, and I can’t say I
defend her. But my daughter is who she is, and a self-esteem course is not
going to change who she is.

Weinrib: Very well. I see your point. I too can relate to being a misfit at
her age. But let me just say that you’re lucky the course is voluntary
here. When she goes to Lawndale High, which is closest to her house so
that’s where I’m assuming you’ll enroll her, if she doesn’t pass the
psychological exam she’ll have to take the course whether she likes it or not.

Amanda: Well, we’ll just worry about that when the time comes. Let’s go
Jane. (Amanda and Jane leave.)

Jane: Thanks for defending me in there, Mom.

Amanda: Any time, honey. Now, is there a snack machine around here? I got
the munchies, big time.

Scene 4: In Mr. DiMartino’s class.

DiMartino: Well, class, I have your TEST scores here, and it saddens me to
see such DISMAL performances from all of you. What are you kids, on DOPE?
Let’s see here... (picks a paper) Lisa Fredericks. You wrote that the Civil
War was fought over Civil Shepard. And you, Victor, where did you learn to
SPELL? You spelled Germany as J-U-R-M-O-N-Y. (class really cracks up over
that.) Have you been studying at all?

(Mr. DiMartino spots Trent.)

DiMartino: Well well, it seems Mr. NO-SHOW actually decided to show. And
awake, too.

Trent: (grinning) How’s it going, Mr. DiMartino.

DiMartino: Nice to see you, Trent. OK, class, let’s get started. Open your
textbooks to page 232--

(a pizza man walks in.)

Pizza man: I have a delivery here for a Mr. Trent Lane...

Trent: Right here, dude. (takes pizza and pays the pizza man.)

DiMartino: Trent, what are you doing?

Trent: I ordered a pizza, Mr. DiMartino.

DiMartino: Why?

Trent: ‘Cause I’m hungry.

DiMartino: (sighs) Trent, whose time is it right now?

Trent: Huh?

DiMartino: Whose time is it right now?

Trent: Uh, yours?

DiMartino: Oh, but that wouldn’t be fair to the students, now would it?
Wouldn’t it be more appropriate to say that it’s OUR time?

Trent: I guess...

DiMartino: And being that it’s OUR time, wouldn’t that make this OUR pizza?
Come on, class, everyone grab a slice of OUR pizza!

Trent: Hey!

(Everyone, including the teacher, grabs a slice of the pizza, which leaves
Trent with nothing.)

Trent: Aw, man!

Scene 5: At the Lane residence. Jane and Penny are watching TV. Penny has
long wavy black hair and wears a lot of makeup. She sort of looks Latino.

TV: (voice of Kurt Loder) On the anniversary of the death of Nirvana
frontman Kurt Cobain, we have an exclusive interview with his widow,
Courtney Love.... Ms. Love, please calm down... Ms. Love... Ms. Love, could
you please stop throwing feces at the camera? (Jane changes channel)

TV: (voice of that annoying NBC announcer) Tonight it’s an episode of
“Friends”, followed by another episode of “Friends”, followed by “Buddies”,
followed by “Chums”, followed by that new comedy about pals who hang out at
a coffee shop!

Jane: They truly don’t know when to quit. (turns off TV)

Penny: So how’s school, Jane?

Jane: Well, today the principal suggested putting me in a self-esteem class
because I’m not popular. Then my mom went into this speech about how I
don’t need to be popular and I don’t need a self-esteem class. The funny
thing is, though, I kind of wonder what it’s like to be popular. To not
have to sit alone all the time. To have something to do with other people
Saturday nights. Kind of like you were in high school.

Penny: You don’t want to be like me, Jane. I hung out with the type of
people who always landed me in jail.

Jane: Still do.

Penny: Hey, Miguel, Lalo and Consuela told me they were going straight.
They gave me their word.

Jane: Whatever. So how’s the job hunt going?

Penny: Usually it ends after the interviewer asks me if my name is a joke.
Which is kind of funny since I’m not even a Beatles fan.

Jane: At least your name doesn’t rhyme.

Penny: Where do our parents come up with these names for us?

Jane: Yeah, really. You know, Penny, have you ever considered trying to
find work in Mexico? I mean, you speak Spanish really well and can relate
to Mexicans better than anyone else. Maybe Mexico is your calling.

Penny: Hey, I think you’re on to something, Jane.

Jane: I was kidding, Penny. Mexico is a third world country. You’ll be
miserable there.

Penny: No, seriously. Maybe I am better off in Mexico. If anything, my name
won’t haunt me as much there since the Beatles aren’t as popular.

(sound of a car playing Ranchero music in the background.)

Voice: Hey Penny! Get your punk ass out here!

Penny: There’s my ride. See ya. (runs off.)

Meanwhile, Trent and Jesse are hanging out in Trent’s room. Trent is on the

Trent: Hey Shelly.... Hey, I was wondering, maybe if you’re not doing
anything this weekend, we could go to McGrundy’s or a movie... Oh, I see.
Well, some other time then. See ya. (hangs up.) Dammit.

Jesse: What’s up?

Trent: Shelly and I have been seeing each other less and less lately. She’s
always hanging out at that new cafe.

Jesse: And she never invites you there?

Trent: She keeps saying I wouldn’t like it there.

Jesse: Maybe you should go there some time and check it out. I’ll come with
you if you like.

Trent: Sounds like a plan.

Scene 6: At Jane’s school a couple of days later. As Jane approaches the
school, the guy in the hot convertible with the leather jacket and the long
hair drives by and Jane watches him. This time Brittany notices her.
Brittany’s hair is cut shorter than usual, and she wears a blue striped
halter top and jean shorts.

Scene 7: In Jane’s algebra class. Jane is doing her work while Ms. Eisler
walks around. Ms. Eisler scowls at Jane every time she passes her, and Jane
notices a huge white wad taped to her eye.

Brittany: Jane, could you help me with this problem?

Jane: What is it, Brittany?

Brittany: What comes before A?

Jane: What do you mean?

Brittany: Well, see here, where it says A minus B? What’s A minus B? Is
that one of those numbers that I hear they only teach you in the 11th grade?

Jane: No, Brittany. A and B are variables. It means they could mean any

Brittany: I don’t get it.

Jane: Let’s say A is 5 and B is 3. A minus B is 2. But if A is 5 and B is
1, A minus B is 4. Do you understand?

Brittany: I get it! But... What if A is 5 and B is, like, one thousand
seventy-five katrillion or something? I don’t even think numbers go that high!

Jane: Oh brother.

Scene 8: In the cafeteria. Jane carries her lunch tray to a table at the
corner where the only other occupant is Andrea.

Jane: Mind if I sit here?

(Andrea shrugs. Jane sits down and begins to eat. A group of popular girls
gather around her.)

Girl: (giggling) Hey, Jane? My friends and I have a bet.

Jane: (annoyed) What?

Girl: Are you a lesbian?

Jane: No.

Andrea: Yes she is. She made a pass at me.

Girls: (chanting) Ha ha! Lesbo! Lesbo! (run off.)

Jane: What the fuck did you do that for?

(Andrea shrugs. A moment later Brittany comes and sits down at Jane and
Andrea’s table, looking around to see that no one is watching.)

Brittany: Hey, Jane.

Jane: Wow, Brittany. That’s pretty daring of you, sitting across from a
girl who’s just been outed.

Brittany: Whatever. Look, thank you for helping me in algebra. Maybe
there’s some way I can help you.

Jane: Oh, I don’t know if you have the mental capacity for that.

Brittany: I can introduce you to that guy in the leather jacket you’re
always looking at.

Jane: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Brittany: He eats at that diner where I waitress. Meet me there after school.

Meanwhile, at another table sit Kevin, Mack and Upchuck. Upchuck and Kevin
are dressed in similar clothing and are actually built the same way.

(Kevin’s not much to look at without those shoulder pads, is he?) Mack is
more buff.

Kevin: There she is, guys. The girl of my dreams. Chuck, you got that poem
you wrote?

Upchuck: Here you go. (hands Kevin paper.)

Kevin: I’m planning on reading this to Brittany. Tell me what you think,
Mack Daddy.

Mack: Don’t call me that! Let me see. (looks at poem.) Kevin, please tell
me these words here are typos for “curt” and “pushy”. Look, why don’t you
just go up there and introduce yourself to her? What’s the worst thing that
can happen?

Kevin: You’re right, Mack Daddy. I’ll go talk to her right now. (gets up
and leaves.)

Mack: I really wish he wouldn’t call me that.

Kevin approaches Brittany.

Kevin: (broken voiced) Hey Brittany.

Brittany: Excuse me? Do I know you?

Kevin: (broken voiced) I’m Kevin. I was just wondering if you wanted to go

Brittany: Ugh! Get away from me, geek!

Kevin: (broken voiced) OK.

Brittany: Shoot me if I’m ever desperate enough to go out with something
like him.

Scene 9: In Mrs. Barch’s science class.

Barch: Class, you will each have to do a project for your final, which is
on June 5. I will be grading based on effort, creativity and how
informative it is.

Bobby Sherman: (to himself) Perfect! I know just the thing.

Barch: By the way, I will not be here tomorrow so you will have a substitute.

Student: How come?

Barch: My husband and I have an appointment with our marriage counselor.
She says we’re making excellent progress!

Scene 10: In Mr. O’Neill’s class.

O’Neill: OK, class, time for your test on “Wuthering Heights”. I trust you
have all read chapters 1 through 3?

Student: I didn’t.

Another student: Me neither.

(class murmurs agreement.)

O’Neill: Did... anyone read?

Class: Nope. Uh-uh.

O’Neill: This is awful! At this rate there’s no way we’ll meet the district

Scene 11: At a diner. Jane is dressed in Brittany’s waitress outfit.

Jane: I can’t do this, I can’t do this, I can’t do this...

Brittany: Come on, Jane, it’s easy. Just go up there, introduce yourself,
and when you give him the check, slip your phone number under it! Now go!

(pushes Jane through the double doors. Jane approaches Leather Jacket Guy

Jane: Uh, hi. I’m Jane.

Guy: Hey there, Jane. Why does your name tag say “Brittany”?

Jane: Oh, uh, it’s my first day. I’m just borrowing this one until I get my

Guy: I see. Well, I’m Telly. Nice to meet you Jane.

Jane: Oh, uh, likewise. Um, here’s your check.

Telly: Thanks. Say, Jane, are you busy Friday night? ‘Cause I’m throwing a
big party over at my place. Wanna come?

Jane: Sure, that’ll be great.

Telly: All right then.

Jane goes back to Brittany behind the double doors.

Jane: He invited me to a party Friday night!

Brittany: That’s great! Can I come with you?

Jane: I don’t think he’d mind.

Brittany: All right! I love high school parties!

Jane: You’ve been to one?

Brittany: Oh yeah, I go to them all the time! By the way, that reminds me,
how far have you gone with a guy?

Jane: Well, I made out in a movie theater once...

Brittany: That’s it?

Jane: Yeah, I guess. Why?

Brittany: Oh, Jane, you really should go all the way.

Jane: You’ve gone all the way?

Brittany: Oh yeah, I mean come on, it’s just sex.

Jane: And people don’t think you’re a slut or anything?

Brittany: What’s a slut? I’ve always wondered, because people always seem
to call me that. What exactly is a slut, Jane?

Jane: Is that like a rhetorical question or do you really not know?

Brittany: What’s rhetorical mean?

Scene 12: In the faculty lounge at Lawndale High. Mr. O’Neill sits sullenly
at a table. Mr. DiMartino sits down across from him.

DiMartino: How do you do, Tim?

O’Neill: Oh, hello Anthony.

DiMartino: How’s your first semester at Lawndale going?

O’Neill: Not too well. I’m thinking of quitting.

DiMartino: Why?

O’Neill: I just can’t seem to get through to the students. I don’t think
I’m cut out for teaching high school.

DiMartino: Well, Tim, I’m gonna let you in on a little secret. See, I’ve
been teaching here for almost 20 years, and when I started out, the
students treated me the same way they do you.

O’Neill: Really? You don’t seem like the kind of guy who takes that kind of

DiMartino: Back then I wasn’t. I let them taunt me, torture me, I watched
as they wasted their semesters because they were too rowdy to be taught.
But then one day, I figured out the one thing you have to instill in them
in order to get them under control. Fear.

O’Neill: Fear?

DiMartino: Fear. You can’t expect them to listen to you until you let them
know you’re the boss. Like, you know that movie about the teacher who gets
a class of tough gang kids to want to learn?

O’Neill: “To Sir With Love”?

DiMartino: No.

O’Neill: “Stand and Deliver”?

DiMartino: No.

O’Neill: “Dangerous Minds”?

DiMartino: No, no, no, that one with Tom Berenger.

O’Neill: “The Substitute”?

DiMartino: Yeah, that’s the one. I take as my inspiration the guy from that

O’Neill: That’s a disturbing thought.

DiMartino: Maybe so, but it helps. Trust me.

O’Neill: OK... Got any place I can start?

DiMartino: Come with me.

O’Neill and DiMartino stand in a grassy field with a tree stump. Mr.
DiMartino has an air rifle.

DiMartino: When a student is getting on my nerves, I like to come here.
(digs through his briefcase and takes out several enlarged student photos.)
Let’s see here... Ah, OK. Here’s one of my favorites. (takes out a photo of
Trent.) Trent Lane. Do you know him?

O’Neill: I think he’s in my sixth period class. Usually he sleeps through it.

DiMartino: That’s him all right. Rarely shows up, but when he does, he’s
always late, and he always decides to eat in class or doze off. One of
those passive-aggressive types. (goes to the tree stump and pins Trent’s
picture on, then goes back to Mr. O’Neill, takes his rifle and aims it at
the picture.)

DiMartino: See, the only way (BLAM!) that I keep (BLAM!) from going psycho
at someone like him (BLAM!) is by taking out my aggression here. (BLAM!)
Wanna try it?

O’Neill: Oh, I don’t know if I can...

DiMartino: Come on, Tim. Surely there must be some student who really gets
on your nerves.

O’Neill: Uh, hmm... Got a picture of that guy who’s the quarterback? Always
runs into the goalposts during games?

DiMartino: Tommy Sherman? Sure, here you go. (pins picture of Tommy to the
tree stump, comes back and gives rifle to Mr. O’Neill.) Take your best shot.

O’Neill: (aiming) So, Tommy Sherman. Mr. Hotshot Quarterback. (BLAM!)
Always making sarcastic comments about everything I say and do. (BLAM!)
Always mocking me. (BLAM!) Think you’re so tough, huh? (BLAM!) Well, I
don’t think you’re so tough. (BLAM!) I think you’re just full of hot air.
(BLAM!) In fact, I hope that stupid goalpost falls on you one day. (BLAM!)
Crushes your skull. (BLAM!) Breaks every bone in your sorry arrogant body.
(BLAM!) You think that’s funny? (BLAM!) Do ya? (BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!)

DiMartino: Whoa, I think that’s enough, Tim.

(DiMartino and O’Neill look at the picture, all the shots hit dead center
and there’s barely anything left of Tommy’s head.)

DiMartino: Not bad. You’re on your way.

Scene 13: Friday night. At the Lane residence.

Jane: Trent, I’m going to Telly’s party with Brittany.

Trent: OK, have a good time. (Jane leaves.)

Jesse: You ready, Trent?

Trent: Let’s go.

Trent and Jesse walk down a street. They pass a newsstand. They recognize
the clerk there.

Jesse: Dude, that was Curtis Stalato! He has a few classes with us!

Trent: He’s working at a newsstand? Whoa, that’s one thing you won’t see me

(they reach a cafe.)

Trent: Let’s see what Shelly’s up to.

Trent and Jesse enter the cafe. Shelly is up on the stage singing a
rage-rock song with an all-girl band.

Trent: I didn’t know Shelly was in a band.

Jesse: There sure are a lot of chicks here...

Trent: Hey, she’s pretty good.

(Trent and Jesse go near the front of the stage and watch Shelly sing. What
they don’t notice is the morose-looking girl dancing in front of them. When
the song ends, Shelly makes a come-hither motion with her finger, and the
girl gets up on the stage and makes out with Shelly. Trent and Jesse look
around the room and notice that a bunch of other girl couples are making out.)

Jesse: This is so cool! (Trent glares at him.) Uh, except for Shelly and
that girl up there. I feel really bad for you, man.

Trent: Shelly?

Shelly: (spotting him) Trent!

Scene 14: At Telly’s party. Beastie Boys music blares out of the stereo as
couples everywhere socialize. Brittany is talking to a whole group of guys
in the corner. Jane and Telly, meanwhile, talk in the corridor. They have
to raise their voices to be heard over the music.

Jane: So what school do you go to?

Telly: Lawndale. I’m a junior.

Jane: Lawndale? Oh yeah, my brother Trent goes there.

Telly: Trent?

Jane: You know, tall scraggly-haired guy, tattoos on his arms, plays in a

Telly: Doesn’t ring a bell.

(the door behind them opens and a guy and girl walk out of it.)

Telly: Hey, it’s vacant. Wanna go in?

(Jane looks at Brittany who gives her a thumbs-up.)

Jane: Let’s go.

Scene 15: Trent and Shelly sit outside the cafe.

Trent: So, you’re a lesbian. When were you planning on telling me?

Shelly: I didn’t know until just recently. And anyway, I’m bi, Trent. Don’t
act so surprised. Remember when I told you my parents thought I was screwed

Trent: Yeah, but I thought you meant, y’know, sex-drugs-rock n’ roll kind
of screwed up. Not this. Was this brought on by me?

Shelly: No, Trent. I had to use the bathroom while passing through this
area, and while waiting in line here, Tracy and I met and just... hit it
off. Next thing I knew, I was spending most of my time here. I’m sorry, Trent.

Trent: Well, at least it’s better that I found out for myself rather than
through the grapevine.

Shelly: Through the grapevine?

Trent: Sorry. Sometimes I quote Creedence at awkward moments.

Shelly: So you’re OK with this?

Trent: No. But it’s not like this is something I can change.

Shelly: I can really use a ride home. Can you give me a ride home?

Trent: Sure, why not?

Scene 16: Jane and Telly are in Telly’s parents’ bedroom, making out. Telly
has his shirt off and his pants are unbuckled, Jane is stripped down to a
bra and panties.

Jane: (pulling back) Um, you know, Telly, I don’t think I can do this. I’m

Telly: Oh, come on. I just want to make you happy.

Jane: Well... do you have protection?

Telly: (digging in his pockets) Uh, you know what? I’m all out. But don’t
worry, I’m clean.

Jane: How can I be sure of that?

Telly: What, you don’t trust me?

Jane: Well still, isn’t there a risk of getting me pregnant?

Telly: I’ll take it out before I cum.

Jane: I don’t think so.

Telly: Come on!

Jane: No.

Telly: Come on!

Jane: No.

The door flies open and everyone’s eyes focus on Jane as she storms out of
the room and leaves the party fully clothed.

Telly: I hope you’re comfortable walking home! It’s awfully late out!

Guy: (to Telly) Hey man, how was she? (Telly punches him in the face.)

Trent, while driving with Shelly and Jesse in the car, spots Jane walking
all alone. He stops the car.

Trent: Hey Jane, what happened?

A little while later, Jane is in the car with Jesse and Shelly.

Jane: Trent, you don’t have to do this.

Trent: Yeah I do. Nobody messes with my little sister.

Trent stops the car in front of Telly’s house, kicks Telly’s door open. The
partygoers step back as Trent stands in the doorway.

Trent: Where’s Telly?

Telly: That would be me. Who are you?

Trent: Your worst nightmare.

(Trent runs toward Telly, pounces on top of him and proceeds to pound his
face in.)

Jane: Wow, I’ve never seen Trent like this.

Shelly: I think he’s extra mad because we broke up today.

Jane: You broke up? Why?

Shelly: He found out I was a lesbian.

(Jane looks at Telly and makes the sign of the cross.)

Scene 17: In Mr. O’Neill’s class a few days later. The class is being
rowdy, talking and throwing paper airplanes.

O’Neill: Class?

(no response from them.)

O’Neill: Class? (takes out megaphone) CLASS!!

(class shuts up.)

O’Neill: Class, I know I’ve been a bit lenient with you in the past, but
all that is going to stop right now. For the next half hour, I want you all
to read the chapters in “Wuthering Heights” you were supposed to have read
last week. I don’t care if you have to use Cliff Notes, just sit quietly
and read. I don’t want to hear a word from any of you.

Tommy: And if we don’t? What are you gonna do about it?

O’Neill: What am I gonna do about it? I’ll tell you what I’m gonna do about
it. You ever had to do weekend detention? I can assign you that. In fact,
anyone who says a word for the next half hour gets five weekends of
detention. In the library. With the air conditioning off. Having to sort
books all day long. Both Saturday and Sunday. I know the librarian. Don’t
think I can’t make it a reality for you.

Tommy: Man, I don’t have to take this shit. I can decide not to show. Then

O’Neill: Well, I don’t know, Tommy, I guess that will require you to not
show up at school, which means missing practice, which is at school at the
same time. I don’t think the coach will be too happy about that, now will he?

Tommy: (standing up) Bullshit. I don’t have to take this. None of you have
to take this. Come on, who’s with me? (silence.) Who’s with me? (silence.
Tommy sits down.)

(Mr. O’Neill smiles. He looks over his shoulder, Mr. DiMartino is standing
in the doorway and gives him a thumbs-up.)

Scene 18: Jane carries her lunch tray through the cafeteria. She passes
Brittany, who is sitting with 3 girls at a table.

Brittany: Hey Jane.

Jane: Hey Brittany. Well, I guess you all heard about what happened at the

Girl 1: Yeah, it’s really cool the way your brother came to your rescue.

Girl 2: I wish my brother could do that for me.

Girl 3: Or any guy for that matter.

Brittany: Come sit with us.

Jane: Uh, thanks. (sits down.)

Brittany: This is Cindy, Naomi and Claudia. Girls, this is Jane.

Jane: Nice to meet you. So, what are you all talking about?

Cindy: We were talking about how cute Brad Pitt’s butt was. Doesn’t he have
a cute butt?

Jane: You know, I really don’t get this whole Brad Pitt thing. I mean yeah,
he’s handsome and all, but come on! (the other girls glare at Jane.) But he
does have a cute butt, doesn’t he?

Naomi: Damn right.

(Jane sits there bored and watches the girls chatter about boys and makeup.)