Jane's Crisis
By The Unknown (


Summary: When Jane is attacked, the cast must deal with feelings of
sadness and hatred. A new character is introduced that helps Jane through
the ordeal. Note: This fanfic also appears on Poor Pathetic Daria Page,
but this one is slightly unedited.


Scene 1: Show Daria, and Jane walking down the hall.


Jane: So, Daria, are you going to the Zen tonight?

Daria: Wish I could, but my family is having "Family night".

Jane: Well, guess who asked me out? And who I rejected?

Daria: Would that be Upchuck?

Jane: Nah! It was Evan.

Daria: The Jerk?

Jane: Oh yeah. When I told him "No", he muttered something like "Lesbo

Daria: And to think you two used to..(Jane clamps Daria's mouth shut.)

Jane: Shut up!

(The two quiet down for a moment and hear something.)

Girl: (Kicking her locker.) Oh, this piece of shit. That's it.
Hey would you mind moving... umm? (1)

Daria: Daria.

Jane: Jane.

Girl: My names Joanna; now, stand back.

Jane: Umm, sure, O.K.

(They get out of the way as Joanna backs up on a skateboard, skates toward
her locker, jumps up in midair, and kicks it with her board hard. The
locker door falls down.)

Joanna: Damn, do you have to do this to your locker all the time?

Daria: Umm, no, but look here comes..

Jane: Ms Li!

Ms Li: (obviously pissed.) What is the meaning of this? Who did this?

Joanna: Me.

Ms Li: Did you know that vandalizing school property is a serious offense?

Joanna: Umm, no; the thought never crossed my mind.

Ms Li: I'm calling your parents now.

Joanna: Good Luck.

(Ms Li dials her number but gets the busy signal.)

Ms Li: Damn! Well I guess you'll have to pay for the damage.

Jane: Plus shipping and handling!

Joanna: How much?

Ms Li: Exactly $250.

Joanna: Sure here you go.

(She hands Ms Li $250 )

Ms Li: Now, go away.

Daria: Where did you get the money?

Joanna: Oh I'm the lead singer for some band. We were pretty popular in
New Mexico. Made $200 a gig.(2)

Jane: Damn. My brother only makes $100 a gig.

Joanna: Whose your brother?

Daria: His name's Trent.

Joanna: Cool.

Jane: So, who wants pizza?

Both: Sure.

(The three walk out of the building. Cut to Evan who has been watching
them the whole time.)

Evan: Time to put my plan into action.


Scene 2: Show Daria, Jane, and Joanna eating pizza. Creed's "Only in
America" plays in the background.


Jane: So, Joanna, do you have a boyfriend?

Joanna: Of course. His names Steven. He's the bassist.

Daria: So what's the name of your band?

Joanna: FLIP.

Jane: Sounds like a pop group.

Joanna: Actually it stands for F.reaking L.ittle. I.solated P.iss.

Daria: My, what appropriate language.

Jane: Yeah, my brother has a band called Mystik Spiral.

Joanna: Sounds like a Doors cover band.

Daria: Exactly what I said.

Jane: I need to get some fresh air you guys.

Daria: Don't get high on it.

Scene 3: Show Jane outside leaning against a brick wall. She has her arms
crossed. She then pulls out a bottle of birth control pills, and pops one
in her mouth.(3)


Jane: How long do I have to keep this up?

(She feels a couple of hands on her hips, and she yells.)

Evan: Keep what up?

Jane: Oh, geez, Evan, you're not still mad at me are you?

Evan: Eh.

(He throws Jane in the ally. She lands on her side hard.)

Jane: OW!

(She gets up and tries to runaway, but Evan pushes her down.)

Evan: (Pulls out knife.) I don't think we'll be going anywhere.

Jane: What the hell are you going to do to me, you sick bastard?

Evan: (Whispering in her ear.) I'm going to do you good you bitch. Oh,
yeah I'm going to fuck you up.

Jane: (She lays paralyzed in fear.) Oh God, please, no.

Evan: Oh, yes.

(He rips off her black under shirt. He then drags down her shorts and
underwear. He lays on top of her, kicking off his jeans ,and boxers. He
points the knife towards her neck.) Scream and you die, bitch.

Jane: Please, why are you doing this?

Evan: Oh, just shut up! ( He punches her in the face hard. She lets out a
small yell. He then jams the knife harder against her throat.) What did I
just say?

Jane: Fine, whatever.

(She closes her eyes and winces in pain as he enters himself into
her abruptly, and painfully. Once inside he moves his mouth to the side of
her neck, and starts sucking on it. Jane whimpers a little as he starts
rocking back and forth on her. She kept praying that something would
happen to stop him, but nothing. Finally after what seemed to be hours,
Evan had reached his orgasm. He got up , and pulled his pants up. He then
kicked her in the side.)

Jane: OW!

(Evan leaves Jane in a heap.)


Scene 4: Show Daria, and Joanna exiting the building.


Daria: I can't believe you poured a whole bottle of Tabasco
sauce on your pizza, and ate it.

Joanna: That Tabasco sauce was bland. Do they dilute it?

Daria: Probably. Hmm, I wonder where Jane ran off to?

Joanna: Who knows maybe she...OH, MY GOD!

Daria: What is it?

Joanna: (Pointing to Jane.) That's either Jane or a clothes pile doing a
poor impression of her, and I don't want to risk it.

Daria: (Walks up closer.) Oh, my God, it is Jane. Jane can you hear me?

Jane: (Quietly) Go to Hell, Evan.

Joanna: Umm, no; it's Daria, and Joanna.

Daria: We need to call 911. Do you have a cell phone?

Joanna: Not on me. Hey there's four girls walking towards us.

Daria: (Races to where Joanna is.) Oh, goody, the Fashion Club.

Sandi: (To the others) And so like anyway ,this boy who was like so hot
asked me out.

Joanna: Hey do you... WHAT THE HELL?

(She has noticed something quite strange, she looks exactly like
Sandi Griffin, except with blonde hair, and the clothes.)

Sandi: Like, oh shit. You look like me.

Joanna: That's nice. NOW GIVE ME A CELL PHONE!

Stacy: Why?

Daria: Jane's been hurt.


Sandi: Umm, like, why?

Joanna: Come on, do the right thing.

Sandi: Umm, like no. If she like got herself into this mess then she can
like get herself out. Come on, let's go.

Stacy: No!

Sandi: Like, what did you say?

Stacy: I said no! She's been hurt, and needs help.

Daria: Yeah, and we can just hope that if you get hurt your friends
won't ditch you.

Tiffany: Yeah ,but we we're never your friends.


Sandi: Like, whoa. Here. Good bye!

(She tosses the phone to Stacy, who calls 911.)

Stacy: Hello? (pant pant.) Our friend was injured (she starts

Dispatcher: O.K. how was she injured?

Stacy: Wheeze, wheeze.

(Joanna smacks her upside the head, and grabs the cell phone.)

Joanna: Hello? Sorry about that. It looks like she was attacked.

Dispatcher: O.K. we'll send an ambulance. Is there any bleeding?

Daria: Joanna there's some bleeding through her vagina.

Joanna: Bleeding through her vagina.

Dispatcher: O.K. don't touch it. If she was raped we don't want your DNA
with it.

Joanna: Umm, yeah, O.K.

(The ambulance arrives.)

Joanna: The ambulance is here; bye.

Paramedic 1: O.K. where is she?

Daria: Over there (She points to Jane.)

Jane: Please, help.

Stacy: Help's here, Jane.

Paramedic 2: Is anything broken...umm?

Jane: Jane. And no.

Paramedic 3: O.K. we're going to left you up on this stretcher. O.K.?

Jane: Yeah, fine, O.K.

(They put her on the stretcher, and put her in the ambulance with Daria,
Stacy, and Joanna riding in back.)

Daria: So, what happened?

Jane: I don't want to talk about it.

Stacy: Jane, we're your friends.

Joanna: Yeah, come on.

Jane: (quietly) I was raped.

Joanna: Umm, what was that it sounded like you said "I was rared"?

Jane: (Giving in.) I was raped.

Daria: Oh, my God! Who did this to you?

Jane: I don't want to talk about it now.

Stacy: Jane, sooner or later, you will have to tell the authorities.

Jane: I know. I'm just shaken up.

Daria: Umm, Jane, was it Evan?

(Jane looks at her, and starts crying.)

Scene 5: It's the next day at school. Jane is still in the hospital. Show
Daria and Joanna in Mr. O'Neill's class.(4)


Mr. O'Neill: And, as we can see in Ayn Rand's "Anthem", she really
creates a depth of plot in regard to humanity's future. What is the
message that Rand is trying to convey in this story?...hmm, lets see,
Jan? (Meaning Joanna.)

Joanna: That in the future, all people will be robot-like people
with numbers for names. Hey I wanna be Skater 696969.

Mr. O'Neill: Umm, no, I'm sorry. Daria?

Daria: That once again true love triumphs overall.

Mr. O'Neill: Exactly, Daria.

(The intercom comes on.)

Ms. Li: Attention students I have a saad announcement. One of our students,
Jane Lane, was seriously injured yesterday. (Murmurs are whispered
between the students.)

Mr. O'Neill: I'm so sorry, Daria, and Joann.

Joanna: Hey, you're getting closer.

Mr. O'Neill: Is there anything I can do to help?

Daria: Sit down, and teach.

Mr. O'Neill: Umm O.K. fine.


Scene 6: Show Jane in the hospital.


Jane: When will the results come in?

Doctor: Well, they should get here in about a couple of days.

Jane: Oh, goody.

(Daria, Joanna, Jesse and Trent walk in.)

Jane: Hey, what are you guys doing here?

Trent: We heard about you and came to the hospital.

Doctor: Will that's nice. Jane, when we were going through your clothes,
we found these. (He holds out a bottle of birth control pills.)

Daria: Umm, why do you have those?

Jane: Because two months ago Jesse, and me started having sex, and I
decided to take them.(5)

Jesse: Jane, were you going out with another guy?

Jane: No, I wasn't.

Trent: Because this Evan guy who you claimed raped you had the hots for

Jane: That jerk? He just wanted power. The only reason why he did
it is because I refused to go out with him.

Joanna: Hmm. So, when do you get released from the hospital?

Jane: Tomorrow.

Daria: I need to get going. Trent, can you give me a ride?

Trent: Sure. See ya, Janey.

Jane: See ya.

Joanna: I guess I'll be off too.

Jane: Sure, bye

Jesse: I'll stay here.

Jane: O.K. Jesse?

Jesse: Yeah?

Jane: I'm scared. I mean I want Evan to pay, but then that means there'll
probably be a trial, and then I'll have to face the cameras and shit I
don't want.

Jesse: Jane, shh. It'll be O.K. Try to get some rest.

Jane: O.K. (She drifts off to sleep as Jesse strokes her hair. When she
is well asleep he leaves.)


Scene 7: It is a couple of days later. We see the four, Daria,
Joanna, Jane, and Stacy in Ms Barch's Take back the Night Self-Defense


Jane: You guys, I don't want to do this.

Joanna: Jane, you have running. Now learn to fight!

Jane: It won't help.

Ms Barch: Hmm, you four trying out for the self-defense club?

Daria: Umm, Jane and Joanna are.

Ms Barch: Excellent! Well, just take a seat over there (she points toward
a mat.) (To all the students.) Ladies, welcome to the self-defense class.
Here we learn how to beat the shit out of men. Now, we're going to pretend
this punching bag is a filthy, slimy man. Do I have any volunteers?
(Joanna raises her hand.)

Ms Barch: Very Good! Now, kick this punching bag any way you like.

(With that, Joanna runs at full speed toward the bag, jumps in the air as
if though she were jumping on a skateboard, kicks the bag with first her
right foot, then the left. She falls to the ground, but puts her arms out
in front of her, and does a backward handspring kicking the punching bag
so hard it rips. She is then done. People have stunned looks on their
faces then cheer.)

Ms Barch: Whoa! Pretty good! Class is over since this man has been killed!

Daria: Where did you learn that move?

Joanna: I'm a street/skate fighter*

Jane: That was one hell of a move.

Stacy: I'll say!

Daria: Come on, we need to talk to Ms Barch.

Jane: Why? she'll just make me a lesbo.

Joanna: It's worth a shot. Yo, Ms. Barch!

Ms Barch: Yes, ladies?

Stacy: Jane wants to talk to you.

Ms Barch: Jane, you got an A+ on your test.

Jane: Umm, no, that's not what I wanted to talk to you about.

Ms Barch: Well, then, tell me.

Joanna: Ms Barch, a week ago or so, Jane was raped.

Ms Barch: Oh, those filthy men. Always wanting power dammit! Is this jerk
in jail yet?

Jane: No. I haven't told the police yet. Besides Evan's more popular, and
they'll believe his excuse better.

Ms Barch: What is it?

Jane: He'll say I'm a lesbian. Which I am not.

Ms Barch: What do you mean?

Joanna: She has a boyfriend.

Ms Barch: WHAT?! Haven't you learned anything about men, Jane?

Jane: (She runs off crying, and screaming at Ms Barch.) DAMMIT, YES I

(She runs to the bathroom, and hides in a stall.)

Joanna: Nice going. Quite frankly, if it weren't for a man you wouldn't be
here. In fact, none of us would be here. Ms Barch, God created Adam and
Eve, not Eve and Eve. (She walks off to the bathroom looking for Jane.)


Scene 8: Show Evan with Bobby Bighead, and the guy that was hitting on
Daria in "The Invitation", who I decided to name Cameron.


Cameron: Woo! Way to go! How was she?

Evan: Tightest fucking cunt ever.

Bobby: Hey, look who's coming. (He points to Jane.)

(Jane walks by them, keeping her head down.)

Evan: Hey, slut, have you told the authorities yet? Better not have, or I'll
give you another unwanted fucking.

Jane: Go to Hell, you jerk ass!

Evan: Bobby, Cameron, get her.

(Jane runs off at top speed with Evan, Bobby, and Cameron close
behind. Finally she goes into the girls' bathroom an hides in one of the

Evan: Dammit!!


Scene 9: Show Jane in the bathroom stall leaning her head against the wall
crying. Cut to the next stall where we see Stacy buttoning her shorts.


Stacy: Umm are you O.K.?

Jane: No.

Stacy: Oh, my God, Jane! Is that you?

Jane: Yes it is.

Stacy: What's wrong?

Jane: Nothing. Go away.

Stacy: O.K. umm anything you say.

(She leaves the bathroom. Five minutes later Jane walks out.)


Scene 10: It's the next night ,and we see a red Mustang convertible. In
the front we see Stacy with EVAN?(7)


Evan: I had a really great time.

Stacy: Yeah, me too.

Evan: Your hair looks really pretty like that.

(For once Stacy's hair isn't in pigtails, but is long and wavy.)

Stacy: Thanks.

Evan: So, what do you want to do now?

Stacy: I don't know. (They look at each others eyes. They lean forward and
kiss. After awhile Evan's hand starts to slide up her shirt. She slaps it
away.) No!

Evan: What's wrong? I just wanna have a little fun.

Stacy: I don't want to.

Evan: (He grabs Stacy.) Aw, come on, you want it.

(Stacy punches him in the face, and jumps out of the convertible.
Dumbfounded Evan jumps out of the car and goes after Stacy. He catches up
with her, and drags her back to the car. He throws her in the back seat
and climbs on top of her. He then rips off her shirt. Stacy punches him in
the face, which as a result he hits her. With all her force she kicks him
out of the car. She jumps out, and runs away.)

Scene 10: It is two months later. Nothing much has happened except for the
fact that Jane hasn't heard anything from Evan. She and Jesse are
watching TV. Joanna is in the room hanging upside down from a rail.
Something on TV catches Jane's attention.


Announcer: We interrupt this program to bring you a special report. Evan
Niederland* has been arrested for charges of sexual assault, and rape by
Stacy Nibblett*. He will serve 20 years in the Lawndale prison. (8)

Jane: Oh, my God, he raped Stacy, too?

Joanna: Not actually. She told me that he tried to, but she kicked him

Jane: Then, how did the rape charges get on him?

Joanna: Well, you see, after the incident she went to me. I told her that
ee raped you.

Jane: I'm so glad that's over with.

Jesse: Yeah!


The End.


Author's notes: As said earlier, this is the graphic version of "Jane's
Crisis" which a lot of things have changed.

1) In the other version Joanna hits her locker with her board.

2) Joanna doesn't reveal she's in a band until the pizza scene.

3) In the original, Jane isn't taking the pills.

4) This wasn't in the original.

5) They don't actually get together until "Love and Music" another story written
by me.

6)This part also wasn't in the original.

7) Even though Stacy knew she was raped she didn't know by who.

8) In the original, Jane takes him to court where Tiffany testifies.

Some more notes:

Street skate fighting is the art of teaching yourself to fight, and using
a skate board as a weapon.

Sandi and Joanna's look-alike appearance will b explored in a very bizarre
fanfic called "Our Alter Egos."

Evan's last name isn't that. He has no last name on the show.

Stacy's last name was revealed in "Who Shot Principal Li?" by Danny
Bronstein (Please forgive me if I am wrong).