"Janey's Dilemma"
By Jenna

Note from writer - I began this story a long time ago. I made up a character named Josh
and that's who Jane was dating. Over time I've forgotten about Josh and this story. So I
began to re-write it but I kept Josh as Jane's boyfriend instead of Jesse. Besides, Jesse is
in this story and if they were girlfriend and boyfriend, it would really mess up his role.
That's about all the rambling I'll do. Picture Josh anyway you want, cuz I don't live in
ya'lls imagination. The pancake thing I got from someone else. Okay, on with the show,
er, fanfiction!

Note #2 - Jane and Josh have been dating quite a while...they didn't just start dating!

---Scene--- Jane's room. Jane is painting something along the lines of 'squares and
circles falling like rain' (I did a painting like that :) ) Daria is sitting on her bed watching
Sick, Sad World.

TV - Where is Dennis Rodman really from? Next on Sick Sad World!
*Jane clicks mute*

JANE - Hey Daria, what do you think of me and Josh? *phone rings* Hold that thought.
*picks up phone* Hello? Oh, hi Josh. Yeah, I remember last could I forget?
I dunno. Look, I've got Daria over and I think we should discuss this face to face.
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Love you, bye. *hangs up*

DARIA - What's this about last night and a 'serious' conversation?

JANE - (kind of nervously) Well, me and Josh are really in love.

DARIA - Yeah.

JANE - And last night we got to third base.

DARIA - Yeah.

JANE - And we want to go all the way.

DARIA - What a pretty thought.

JANE - BUT, we don't know if we should. I'm afraid I might loose him if we do.

DARIA - That's understandable.

JANE - He's never pressured me into anything before, and it was my suggestion to go to
'Make-Out-Mountain' at 2:00am. We didn't get home until 5:00am. Thank God Trent
was asleep and didn't notice I was gone so late. (What a coincidence, Trent was walking
by Jane's open door)

TRENT - What didn't I notice?

JANE - That you, uh, fell asleep with the radio on country music!

TRENT - Ugh!

JANE - You can go now.

TRENT - Well, I heard something about you staying out until 5:00am.

JANE - No I, uh, well....fine, I did.

TRENT - You're not in a band, what's your excuse?

JANE - I was out with Josh.

TRENT - Don't tell me you two, uh.....oh, Hey Daria.

DARIA - Um, hi.

JANE - No Trent, we didn't.

TRENT - You're not just saying that?

JANE - No.

TRENT - Cuz I have to look out for my little sister.

JANE - Uh-huh.

TRENT - I remember when I told you what sex meant.

JANE - The only reason you told me was because our parents sort of gave up on us kids
after all of our brothers and sisters left or somehow screwed up their lives.

TRENT - Yeah, then Jesse came home with me the next day and you--

JANE - Okay Trent, that's enough.

TRENT - Hey, I'm not the one who said, "Jesse--"

JANE - OUT, TRENT!!!!! *She throws a paintbrush at him*

TRENT - Okay, I won't say 'that'. But still, whatever you and your boyfriend do, use
protection. (he leaves)

JANE - Trent had to say that.

DARIA - At least you and Trent are on good terms with each other 90% of the time.

JANE - I guess I can't say that about you and Quinn.

DARIA - As if Quinn would listen to me. All she listens to are fashion magazines, and her
clique she calls her friends.

JANE - It's weird that he's that worried about me.

DARIA - Maybe he made the mistake of having sex with someone because of peer
pressure or something. And he doesn't want you to do the same.

JANE - you sound like a psychiatrist.

DARIA - *looks at the clock* Thanks. I'd better get home. Bye.

JANE - Later.

---At the Morgendorffer home---

HELEN - Jake, I can't believe what you've done. I tell you to do one damn thing around
here, which is trim the hedges, and you practically cut them down!! It will take me a long
time to re-grow those!!

JAKE - But could've happened to anyone--

HELEN - No, only you Jake.

DARIA - Uh, what's going on?

HELEN - Oh hi, Daria. Jake practically cut the hedges to the ground!!

QUINN - (walking by) - Hi everyone. Mom, your hedges look really different..and bad.
I'm out of lipstick, can I borrow yours mom? Thanks, gotta go meet The Fashion Club at
the mall. Bye!

HELEN - *looks at her watch* Oh shoot, dinner-meeting with Eric, gotta go. Bye.

DARIA - Wow dad, just you and me...nice family time. Wanna talk? You know, about
girl things?

JAKE - I uh, have to go cut the grass. *leaves*

DARIA - (to herself) - Now I have the downstairs TV all to myself. Peace and
quiet.*smile* phone rings--

DARIA - Nevermind. *answers phone* Hello?

TRENT - Hey Daria.

DARIA - Uh, Trent. Hi.

TRENT - Can I talk to you?

DARIA - You called me, didn't you?

TRENT - Right.

DARIA - So..?

TRENT - So, um, I can't let Jane go through with this.

DARIA - (feeling uneasy) Um, wouldn't you rather talk to Jesse?

TRENT - Jesse's not exactly the type of person to tell about Jane's sex life. He used to
date her.

DARIA - And I am the right person?

TRENT - Well, I'm sure Janey has told you..

DARIA - Well, yeah.

TRENT - I wish there was something I could do to stop her.

DARIA - I don't think there's much we could do to stop her...(sarcastically) unless of
course, follow her.

TRENT - Hey, that's a good idea.

DARIA - First of all, that was a joke..second, we don't even know if they'll go through
with it.

TRENT - Oh, yeah. *Jane walks in* Gotta go, bye!

DARIA - Bye Trent. (Trent quickly calls 'moviephone' so if Jane does Re-dial, it won't
be Daria)

JANE - Hi Trent. Wanna cook dinner?

TRENT - You know all I can cook is chocolate chicken surprise.

JANE - That's disgusting.

TRENT - Well, you're a girl, you cook.

JANE - No.

TRENT - You're a girl..girl's should cook for their man...even their brother.

JANE - Trent, are you still worried about me and Josh?

TRENT - Yeah, I just don't want you to get hurt.

JANE - I don't need you to protect me or worry about me as much as you do. It's not
your fault our parents kind of 'ignored' us. I'm not your responsibility to take care of.

TRENT - I know, but I feel like you are.

JANE - Look, Josh and I are in love with each other, and he's never pressured me to do
anything. I only wish I knew what to do. I keep asking myself what will happen after it.
Will we still be together, or will we break up? If sex means us no longer being a couple, I
don't want to do it. Trent, help me out!

TRENT - That was really meaningful. But, I can't tell you what to do? You have to
decide what you think is right.

JANE - Were you just talking to Daria, cuz that sounds like something she would say.

TRENT - No. *leaves*

JANE - Rrre-dial!

PHONE - Attack of the 70 foot tomato is playing at--*hangs up*

JANE - Hmm, I don't think Trent got that advice from moviephone.

---Scene---Helen and Daria

HELEN - Hi Daria, how is everything for you?

DARIA - Um, okay.

HELEN - Thats great! When I was sixteen, I didn't have a thing to worry about. *sigh*
But in this day in age, there's drugs, violence, sex, gangs...

DARIA - Aren't you happy I'm not highly suggestible.

HELEN - Oh Daria. *sigh* (she leaves. Jake enters.)

JAKE - Hey kiddo, how are ya?

DARIA - I'm all right.

JANE - Notice anything different about your mother?

DARIA - She was reminiscing about how great it was to be a teenager in the 60's.

JAKE - Yeah, compared to now. Drugs, sex, rock'n'roll!! It's just too much for a
teenager to handle!! Daria, you only have to remember, just say NO!!! Don't you have
that friend, Tom, who's in that rock-n-roll band? Does he do drugs? If so, that's two
outta three.!! You should watch out for what he could do to you. Daria, just watch

DARIA - It's okay dad, I'm going to my room now. Maybe you should worry about

JAKE - QUINN!!!!! *runs off*

DARIA - Hmm?

---The next day at school---

DARIA - So, are you gonna talk to Josh?

JANE - Yeah, this afternoon after school.

DARIA - If you do decide on this, what are you gonna do, rent a five star motel?

JANE - NO! When Jesse and I were dating, we went to his secluded cabin in the
woods, and when we broke up, I never gave back the key. Well, me and him never went
further than making out. Besides, if Trent thought I had lost my virginity to his best friend,
he'd kill Jess.

DARIA - Okay. Is Josh up to this?

JANE - I think so. He said if I didn't want to do it, he wouldn't make me.

DARIA - That's sweet.

JANE - Hey, I'm the one going on and on about my boyfriend, why don't you talk about

DARIA - But, I don't have one.

JANE - You know if you'd just ask Trent, he would say yes in a flash.

DARIA - No he wouldn't.

JANE - Yes, he would. He likes you! Obviously.


JANE - C'mon Daria. If you don't soon, he'll be rich and famous and have plenty of
groupies! Get him now while he's single and uh, NOT FAMOUS!!

DARIA - You didn't have to yell.

JANE - Yelling is fun, it gets me attention. *Josh comes on screen*

JOSH - Hey Janey, *kiss* so, 'sup?

JANE - Nothing.

JOSH - Hey Daria.

DARIA - Hi josh.

JANE - Josh, shall we talk about our um, 'decision' after school?

JOSH - Okay Janey. Remember, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do.

JANE - I know, we'll talk later. *bell rings*

JANE - Gotta go. I have math. Later Josh.

JOSH - Bye Jane. *Jane leaves*

JOSH - Daria, can I talk to you?

DARIA - Okay.

JOSH - I'm worried. I'm sure Jane want's to do this, but she might decide not to in the
heat of the moment...but she might not tell me. You know, not wanting to hurt my
feelings. If she doesn't say, then she'll feel horrible, and our relationship would be gone.
What should I do!?

DARIA - Well, you obviously love her.

JOSH - Yeah.

DARIA - Jane and I have talked, and she said she thinks once you to have sex, you
would leave her. She's afraid you're using her.

JOSH - I'm not though!

DARIA - But, she doesn't know that.

JOSH - But how can I tell her?

DARIA - I'm afraid saying "I'm not using you, and I won't leave you" probably won't be
the answer. If ya'll decide yes to this, make her happy. (thinking- Dammit, that was dumb
to say)..well, you know what I mean. After, don't say something stupid or upset her. That
could ruin everything. Then, when you're on normal dates, do everything the exact way
you were before. Don't all of the sudden stop calling her, and don't all of the sudden call
her every three hours. Did that help?

JOSH - Yeah!

DARIA - Don't tell Jane though.

JOSH - Sure. Thanks a lot! I'll name our first kid after you!!!

DARIA - Um..thanks, I think.

JOSH - Later Daria.

DARIA - Bye.*he leaves* I should have charged him.

---At home ---

JAKE - Daria, Quinn, do either of you listen to rock music?

BOTH - No, not really.

JAKE - Cuz if you do, I'll take your CD's away!! They're a bad influence!

HELEN - Jakey, what's wrong with a little rock music?

HANDLE!!! AAAAAAHHHH!!!!!! *runs off*

DARIA - Why the hell is everyone talking about sex? *everyone stares at her* Nothing.

HELEN - I'd better go talk to her.

---Scene--- Daria's room, Helen knocks on the door

HELEN - Can I come in?


HELEN - *enters anyway* - Daria--

DARIA - Mom, I'm not having sex.

HELEN - Oh Daria, whatever you do use protection..God knows I don't want you to be
a sixteen year old mother!

DARIA - *sigh* Okay mom.

HELEN - Daria, I just love you so much, I don't want you to get hurt.

DARIA - All right. *Helen's cell phone rings.*

HELEN - Hello? Yes, yes Eric! *leaves*

DARIA - Saved by the bell.

---Scene--- Jane and Daria on the phone

DARIA - So, you really decided to go through with this?

JANE - Mmm-hmm.

DARIA - Really?

JANE - Mmm-hmm.

DARIA - You're sure?

JANE - Mmm-hmm.

DARIA - And Josh is up to it?

JANE - Yeah, we're going to Jesse's cabin this weekend.

DARIA - I dunno what to say.

JANE - Say you'll go out with Trent.

DARIA - Jane.

JANE - C'mon, he likes you!!

DARIA - No. Another thing, do your parents know about this?

JANE - No, Josh's brother is gonna take us there in his car and pick us up on Sunday.


JANE - I have to get off the phone and cook some pancakes for Trent...he's a pig. I
kinda feel weird.

DARIA - Cuz Trent's a pig?

JANE - No, the way he worries about me. I think he's trying to make up for the time my
parents never spent with me.. Or him. I guess I'm lucky to have him as 'protective' as he
is, but sometimes it can be annoying. I'd better go. Bye.

DARIA - Bye.

---The next day at school---

DARIA - Hey Jane.

JANE - Hey.'s up?

DARIA - nothing.

JANE - Can I talk to you?

DARIA - Be my guest...but whenever I get my psychiatric degree, you're a customer.

JANE - Me and Josh already talked, and I'm confused again.

DARIA - About what?

JANE - What to do.

DARIA - Are you that clueless?

JANE - No, like, details. Like how the lighting should be, and all that other stuff.

DARIA - Do whatever you like...I mean, what do I explain this..

JANE - I know what you mean.

DARIA - Good.

JANE - Kinda weird, as of this weekend, I won't be a virgin.

DARIA - Yeah. *Josh enters*

JOSH - Hey Janey, can't talk, math class. *kiss* Later.

JANE - Later. *he leaves* Isn't he the sweetest?

DARIA - Yeah, and you're gonna sleep with him. (Quinn just happens to be walking by)

QUINN - What?? Were you talking about me? I have only done that once. How dare
you spread rumors about me?!!??! Hmmph. *leaves* *Daria and Jane exchange that
glance that says : *Umm, weird*

---At home ---the phone rings (a few days later)

DARIA - Hello?

TRENT - Hey Daria.

JAKE (OS) - If it's that Tom guy, I want you to hang up on that druggie-Rock-N-Roll
freak right now!!

DARIA - (to Jake) No, It's my er, Lab Partner.

JAKE (OS) - Oh..all right.

DARIA - Sorry Trent, my dads in a phase where he wants to protect his daughters from
all the types of evil in the world.


DARIA - So, why did you call?

TRENT - Oh yeah. Janey's going off with her boyfriend tomorrow night..we'll follow

DARIA - Uh..won't someone see us?

TRENT - I know another way to get there.


TRENT - So I'll pick you up around 6:00? That's when Janey and her boyfriend are

DARIA - Okay..

TRENT - Cool. See you then.

DARIA - Okay, bye.

TRENT - Bye.

---The next night--- 5:30

DARIA - Mom, I might spend the night at Jane's..or I may be out late.

HELEN - Okay Sweety. Have you seen the--Jake..wake up DAMMIT!!!!!

JAKE - I'm here!

HELEN - Jake, would you pay attention? *car horn honks*

DARIA - Gotta go.

---Scene--- Trent's car

DARIA - Trent, I wasn't expecting you for a half an hour.

TRENT - I just got up..I need some breakfast..or supper...whatever. Let's go to Cluster
Burger. (At 5:57, they are on their way to the cabin)

DARIA - Don't you feel kinda, bad? Following your sister?

TRENT - Yeah...but I can't let her mess up this. Your virginity is one of the best gifts a
guy can get from a woman, and I don't want her to waste it.

DARIA - Trent...

TRENT - I guess I'm trying to not let her make the same mistake I did.

DARIA -Trent, Jane's a smart girl..she'll do what's right.

TRENT - I hope.

---at the cabin--- (Jane is wearing an aqua shirt and white shorts..Josh is in his usual
outfit..whatever that is) Josh carries Jane across the threshold..into the cabin. Just then
Trent and Daria arrive and park on a side road. They walk to a bush about 10ft from
Jane & Josh's bedroom window. Jane and Josh enter their room.

JANE - (trying to be seductive) - Hey, uh..Josh...dammit, it's hard getting horny.

JOSH - Maybe we should do something else first.

JANE - Yeah. *pause* Hmmm, wine makes people horny. Let's go see if for some
reason there is wine here. (oddly enough, there is. After drinking a lot of wine..they begin
to make out..)

JOSH - You're SURE you wanna do this?

JANE - Yes... (scene ends with them making you think I would write that?)


DARIA - How did you know where this place is?

TRENT - Well, Jess let me 'borrow' it once.


TRENT - Janey told me you liked me.

DARIA - (obviously embarrassed) - Dammit Jane.

TRENT - Can I tell you something?

DARIA - Okay. *Trent leans over and kisses her gently on the lips. Some time later,
they withdraw*


TRENT - A kiss is worth a thousand words. *Daria smiles*

DARIA - Trent..I, I..

TRENT - I know.

DARIA - But..why would you like me?

TRENT - You make me think..and you listen to my ideas, no matter how stupid.

DARIA - You, uh, wanna do that again?

TRENT - This? *kiss*

DARIA - Yeah..that. (It's gotten dark and obviously Daria and Trent have forgotten
about Jane and Josh. About 30 minutes later Jane and Josh are lying by each other.)

JOSH - Jane..

JANE - Hmm?

JOSH - I love you.

JANE- I love you too. And I can't say I've ever been more..happy.

JOSH - Me too.

JANE - (kind of embarrassed) Hey, Josh. After sex is it normal to crave mango's and
more wine?

JOSH - I dunno, but if you want it..It's yours.

JANE - Mind if I put on clothes? I feel kinda weird walking around my ex-boyfriend's
cabin naked.

JOSH - Me too.

---Scene--- Daria and Trent

DARIA - Trent, I can't tell you how great this evening has been.

TRENT - Yeah, and if it weren't for Ja--Janey!!??!

DARIA - *looks through the window* - I don't think they're in there.

TRENT - I had another reason for coming...I wanted to tell you how I felt about you,
and apparently, you felt the same. *Daria smiles*

---Scene--- Josh and Jane eating mango's and wine. They are sitting by each other on
the bed.

JANE - I'm so happy.

JOSH - Me too. *a car drives up outside*

JANE - I heard a car drive up.

JOSH - Me too.

JANE - Oh my God!! The only way out is the front door or this window. *they tug at the
window, but footsteps are coming down the hall*

JANE - Quick, hide in the closet!! *they hide in the bedroom closet* Jesse and some
woman come in the room

JESSE - Hmm, I knew I was messy, but I thought I made the bed up..and put up the
wine glasses. Aah, screw it..c'mon Vanessa.

JANE - (whispering to Josh - I think we're stuck in here till they leave.

JANE - Judging by what's going on, that'll be a while.

[use your sick mind to guess what's going on] Finally, Jesse and Vanessa leave the room

JANE - Now is our only chance. *they both get out of the closet, shut the door, and tug
on the window until it opens and jump out the window. They run out and trip over a rock
only to find Trent and Daria kissing*

JANE - Daria? Trent?

DARIA and TRENT - Jane?

JANE - Okay, why are you two here..and kissing?

DARIA - Uh...

TRENT - We came to stop you from..well, I did anyway, to stop you from..*trails off*

JANE - Sex?

TRENT - Yeah. I didn't want you to get hurt in any way.

JANE - Trent, I'm happy for your concern, but stop it.

TRENT - Janey, I'm sorry, but--

JANE - Okay. But..why were you two kissing?

DARIA - Umm...

TRENT - Umm..

JANE - You two finally admitted your feelings to each other!

JOSH - Yeah.

JANE - Aww, how cute! Are you sure I'm not the only one who is gonna loose my
virginity tonight? *Trent glares at her* Okay, sorry.

TRENT - So, you two *trails off*

JANE - All right Trent, lets make this short. #1 yes we did. #2 yes we used protection.
#3 mangos are good.

TRENT - Mangos?

JANE - Nevermind. AND, ya'll admitted your feelings without the help of those Bears
from the 80's...THE CARE BEARS!!!

TRENT and JOSH - Brrr, scary.

TRENT - So, you guys are out here..why?

JOSH - Cuz Jesse is in there.

DARIA - Why?

JANE- He and his girlfriend had the same weekend plans as us.

JOSH - So can ya'll take us home?

DARIA - Uh..

TRENT - Sure.

JOSH - Sorry to ruin ya'lls evening.

JANE - You could have at least told us that Jesse was coming over here.

TRENT - I didn't know.

JANE - Okay, lets go home.

---Next day---Trent and Jesse practicing

TRENT - Hey Jess, did you notice anything about your cabin?


TRENT - Okay.

JESSE - What?

TRENT - Nothing.

JESSE - Whatever man.

---Scene--- Jane and Daria at school

DARIA - So...?

JANE - So?

DARIA - So, how did you..

JANE - It was great.


JANE - Maybe you and Trent should try it.

DARIA - Don't start.

JANE - Hey, don't blame me if I start to act like Upchuck now.

DARIA - I don't think Upchuck has ever even had a girlfriend.

JANE - (mocking) RRRRRR, FEISTY.

DARIA - Oh God.

JANE - Just kidding. I'll catch you later, I got math.

DARIA - Later. *Josh enters*

JOSH - Hey Daria.

DARIA - Hi Josh.

JOSH - Did Jane say anything, know..

DARIA - She said it was great..of course you didn't hear that from me.

JOSH - Of course not.

DARIA - I got computer literacy, gotta go.

JOSH - I got english, later. *he leaves*

DARIA - I really should charge.

The End