Maine Escape
By Michael J. Pfeffer

Scene 1: Daria's room. Daria is sitting on the couch, watching TV.

TV: Preschoolers that wear women's underwear? Little kid's lingerie, next on Sick, Sad

(The phone rings. Daria picks it up & mutes the TV.)

Daria: Yeah?

Jane (Over the phone): Hey Daria, guess what?

Daria: You've burnt down the Louvre.

Jane: Nope. Trent and Mystic Spiral just got asked to head up the Alternomega tour out
in Maine.

Daria: Your brother Trent?

Jane: Do I detect a hint of envy in your voice?

Daria: Yeah. I'd love to go out just to get crammed into a plane, flown out to a state
that's fifty miles from nowhere, and thrown around in a concert. Go right ahead and
book me on.

Jane: The concert's sending a private jet for us, we're in one of the bigger cities, and
it's in an amphitheater with box seats.

Daria: I don't know. I'm enjoying my summer.

Jane: Look, you've got to admit watching TV for 24 hours a day isn't that great.

Daria: Well...

Jane: Plus, it's at Old Orchard Beach. Nice place. Lots of theft and muggings.

Daria: Well, since Trent & Jesse are going to be on stage, and you'll probably be with

Jane: Yeah...

Daria: Is Michael going to be there?

Jane: Ooh la la, do I sense a little romance?

Daria: Is he?

Jane: I don't know. I only got his answering machine- "You've reached General Michael
J. Andrews, United States Air Force. I'm currently kicking some Russian ass right now,
but if you'll leave a message" Now he needs a girlfriend.

Daria: Funny. I said that same thing to him.

Jane: Well, give him a try. Call me back.

Daria: Okay, bye.

(Daria hangs up, dials another number. Michael picks up.)

Michael: Yo.

Daria: What happened to your machine?

Michael: Just got in. I had to get my mom to quit bugging me to buy more popular
clothes. What's up?

Daria: How does a trip to Maine to see Alternomega sound?

Michael: Give me a few minutes to pack. Who's going to be there?

Daria: Me, Jane, Trent, Jesse. Mystic Spiral's the featured act.

Michael: Mystic Spiral? Wow. They must have gotten really good. No offense.

Daria: None taken. You up for it?

Michael: How are we getting there? Airborne, right?

Daria: Yeah. The concert people are sending a private jet.

Michael: Count me in. I gotta go, I need to pack. Tomorrow?

Daria: Yup. See ya.

(Daria hangs up, dials Jane's number.)

Jane: Well?

Daria: He's in.

Jane: Great. We'll pick you up tomorrow. Bye.

Scene 2- the Morgendorffer dinner table. Jake, Quinn, Helen & Daria are present.
Lasagna is, of course, the meal.

Helen: So you're going to Maine?

Quinn: No fair! Maine's got beaches, and beaches mean cute guys! I deserve to go!

Daria: Yeah. You've dated every guy in Lawndale and need to move on.

Quinn: Well, something like that.

Jake: My little girl's traveling! That's great, kiddo! I remember going cross-country when
I got out of college.

Daria: Doesn't long-term confinement in a car cause insanity?

Helen: Just be careful, sweetie. Maine is a very strange place.

Daria: Yeah. I'd better be careful of the moose.

Scene 3- Daria is packing up for the trip. Looking into her closet, she opts for T-shirt
and jeans instead of the usual outfit, packing several other shirts, pajamas, & other
necessities. When she finishes, she heads out the door. Trent's van is already outside,
side door open. Michael & Jane are already inside, as well as Trent & Jesse.

Trent: Okay, let's get going. Hey, Daria.

Daria: Hey. Congratulations on the gig.

Trent: I guess they finally realized that big, sell-out bands aren't the best thing around.

Jesse: The smaller, the better, I suppose.

Michael: Let's go, we'll miss our flight.

Jane: Here's the tickets. Fun, huh?

(Daria gets in, making sure to duck from the low roof. She opens the envelope.)

Daria: Hmm 14A, Trent. 14B, me. 14C that's you, Mike.

Michael: Joyness. And don't call me Mike.

Daria: 14D and 14E, that's you guys.

Jesse: Cool deluxe seats. Wonder what the movie is.

Daria: It's that one about the gigantic plane crash.

Trent & Jesse (Simultaneously): Alright!

Scene 4- Inside the Alternomega private 747. The five Lawndale residents are the
only ones in the jet.

Michael: Man, now this is posh living!

(He puts his feet up on the seat in front of him.)

Michael: Lots of leg room.

(Daria accepts a can of soda from a passing waiter.)

Daria: Nice service, too.

(A flight attendant enters the cabin.)

Attendant: Ladies and gentlemen, we'll be serving dinner now. Your choices are beef
Wellington, assorted Russian smoked fish and caviar, roasted walnut and honey glazed
crab meat salad, and broiled lobster. Also, our in-flight movie today is Monty Python
and the Holy Grail. We apologize for any inconvenience over listing Airport '75 as the

(Daria & Michael both order the smoked fish, Trent & Jesse order the beef Wellington,
and Jane has the crab meat salad. The food arrives shortly.)

Daria: This is too creepy. Reminds me of Quinn's date.

Michael: Only nobody's spying on us.

(Jane pops up from behind the seat.)

Jane: Guess again. Am I disturbing you two lovebirds?

Michael: Nah, we don't mind the invasion of privacy. Annoy us. Probe our lives. Go right
ahead, we don't mind.

Jane: Too bad you didn't order the crab meat. Kickass.

Michael: You should have ordered the smoked fish. (In a rabbi voice) It's great on a
bagel with cream cheese. And the caviar? Beautiful!

Daria: How long do you think till we get to Maine?

Michael (Pointing to a small digital display): Look for yourself.

Daria (Looking): Hmmm four hours.

Michael: A bit long for me. I'm gonna catch a few winks. Wake me up if the wings fall

(Michael pulls a pillow out of an overhead compartment, lays back, & falls asleep.)

Jane (Now in the back): Psst c'mere!

(Daria gets up and goes to Jane.)

Jane: He likes you, you know.

Daria: Trent?

Jane: Earth to dreamer! Michael!

Daria: How do you know?

Jane: Rough assumption.

Daria: What?

Jane: It's so obvious! He hangs around with you, he risked being arrested by helping
you bug Quinn, he came to your aid when the Air Force pushed us around! Is that love
or what?

Daria: I don't know...he's not exactly great-looking.

Jane: So you're in it for looks now?

Daria: That's not what I said well, maybe you're right.

Jane: Besides, you have to admit, Trent & Jesse are just little fantasies for us.

Daria: Yeah.

Jane: So?

Daria: Okay.

(Jane smiles.)

Jane: Anyone who says you depress people is really wrong.

Daria: Thanks.

Scene 5- the jet lands at Maine International Airport. Cut to the Four Seasons Hotel
at Old Orchard Beach- front desk.

Michael: We'd like to check in.

Trent: The reservation's under Mystic Spiral with a Y.

Employee: Yes, it is. (Hands out keys.) You're in the Luxury Suites. Don't forget,
minibar and room service are complementary.

Daria (Raises eyebrows): As in those little stocked-out fridges?

Employee: Yes, ma'am. Enjoy.

Jane: Those concert people must love us.

Jesse: We're the featured act. I guess that makes us famous, or something.

(They walk over to the elevator, up to the penthouse level, to the luxury suite. Trent
opens the door.)

All: Wow.

(The luxury suite is bigger then Daria's living room, easy. Two other doors lead to the
bedrooms and points beyond.)

Michael: I call this room.

(Jesse goes in, looking around, and finds the TV remote. Pressing the "power" button,
a huge screen slides down from the ceiling and a projector turns on.)

Jane: Now that's what I call big screen!

(Michael is at the other side of the room, opening up a large refrigerator.)

Michael: I think I found the minibar! (Sticks his head inside.) Check this out all imported!
Hmm.. Teuscher's? They're in New York City, and their stuff costs $70 a pound! (Turns
to Trent.) Book me for all your out-of-town gigs!

Jane: Nice paintings. (Examines one) Hey- this one's original!

Trent: Oh, man! (Picks up a Fender Stratocaster guitar with a red ribbon attached.)
There's a card- "Complements of the Alternomega Tour." Man- these guys love us.

(Daria is in one of the bedrooms, lying down on a comfortable mattress.)

Daria: I can't wait to brag about this to Quinn.

(A knock sounds from the door. Michael opens it up- it is Samuel Lowry, president of
the tour.)

Lowry: Hi, everyone. Am I interrupting anything? (Walks over to Trent & Jesse.) And
this must be the wonderful, the magical, always fantastical, Mystic Spiral!

Trent: With a Y.

Lowry: Trent, Jesse, it's great to have you here! While you're relaxing here, I just
thought I'd stop by and let you have the play list for the big show.

Trent: Okay. (Accepts a list.) Well we can do these.

Lowry: Great! Oh, also, these passes will get you anywhere in Maine, and pay for any
souvenirs you want- on us. (Hands out five credit card-shaped plastic cards.)

Michael: Anything at all? Are you kidding?

Lowry: Mr. Andrews may I call you Michael? We of Alternomega want to make your
stay as enjoyable as possible. Anything you want, we'll get it. Anything you need, we'll
do it. Anyone you want killed well, we won't make it that enjoyable.

Daria: Are you sure? Because I have this really annoying sister, and I don't want her to

Lowry: I know my sister was a member of the Fashion Club in high school.

Daria: So's mine. It's awful, huh?

Lowry: Don't worry. She works at the Seven-Eleven now. It gets better.

Daria: I guess so.

(Lowry's beeper goes off.)

Lowry: Uh oh, concert authorities have a problem with security. I gotta get going. Enjoy
the boardwalk! So long!

(Lowry departs.)

Trent: I feel like I've died and gone to heaven.

Daria: I just feel dead. This is too good to be true.

Michael: Relax. I was in Maine a while ago, and Old Orchard Beach is something else.
Let's book, huh?

Jane: Yeah, let's go have some fun, and feel what it's like actually being popular.

Daria: Pray that it doesn't have any side effects.

Scene 6- the Old Orchard Beach Boardwalk. Trent and Daria are walking around,
Jane and Jesse are also checking out the sights, and Michael is playing a dart game on
the midway.)

Michael: Six darts, please.

Attendant: Six throws, six bucks.

Michael: No, no- six darts, one throw. (Shows her the card) This should explain it.

Attendant: Oh, yeah, you're with Alternomega. What band?

Michael: Just a fan of Mystic Spiral. My friend's brother is Trent Lane.

Attendant: Oh, cool! He's like, the hottest guy!

Michael: I wouldn't know. Could you hand me those darts, please?

Attendant: Yeah, sure. Here.

(She hands him the darts. He puts them all in his right hand.)

Attendant: You sure you can do this?

Michael: I've been trained in Navy SEAL killing techniques, I know how to fly and
identify just about any combat aircraft in the world, and I know tons of Navy fleet
strategies. I think I can hit six balloons with six darts.

(He aims and throws. Six balloons pop.)

Attendant: Hey, you're pretty good.

Michael: Thanks. You're not a bad looker yourself.

Attendant: Ahhh, go on, you flirt. Say hi to Trent for me.

Michael: Will do. (Tips his Air Force hat and walks away.)

Attendant (To herself): Nice guy. Too bad we didn't really talk.

(After trying other games on the midway, Michael decides to sample the souvenir
shops. He goes into one, notices Daria and Jane inside, and eavesdrops on their

Daria: I don't know. I'm not sure we're compatible.

Jane: Listen, you two are more than compatible! He likes you!

Michael (Quietly): I do?

Jane: He's pretty cool, don't you think?

Daria: He's trying to be more popular. What does that tell you?

Jane: People are different. I guess he's happier with people knowing who he is?

Daria: Okay.. if Trent falls completely through the roof, if we prove each other
incompatible, I'll go out with him. Deal?

Jane: Deal.

(Jane and Daria exit, rejoining Trent & Jesse.)

Michael: What am I gonna do? When Trent figures Daria just for a friend, she's going to
want to go out with me. Crap. She's OK and all, but I think we're best as friends.

Scene 7- Another souvenir shop. Michael is examining several glass dolphin

Michael: Hmm this one, or that one? I don't know.

Voice: You like dolphins, I see?

(Michael turns around to the source of the voice, and looks into the most beautiful green
eyes, red-golden hair, and most beautiful face he has ever seen.)

Michael: Yeah, I suppose.

Girl: So do I. Oh, sorry. I'm Mara Jacobs.

Michael: Michael Adams.

Mara: I couldn't help but overhear earlier that you're with the Alternomega tour. Where
are you from?

Michael: Lawndale, home of the dumbest cheerleaders and football players in America.

Mara: Really? I'm just about to move there.

Michael: From where?

Mara: Here. Old Orchard Beach, tourist trap extraordinare.

Michael: Wow. My condolences. (Checks his watch.) Y'know, it's getting a tad late.
You have dinner yet?

Mara: Nah, I'm out of cash.

Michael: Leave that to me. Where's the nearest fancy place?

Mara: Who am I, one of the popular group?

Michael: Well, I have this card it pays for everything, all on the Alternomega guys.

Mara (Raises eyebrows.): Really?

Michael: Yeah. How does Villa of Spain sound? (Motions to a small restaurant a few
blocks back)

Mara: Sounds great. (Smiles, Michael smiles back.)

Scene 8- the beach. Trent and Daria are walking on the shore.

Trent: Daria.. what do you think about relationships between people of different ages?

Daria: If two people are right for each other, I guess it doesn't matter.

Trent: Yeah. Daria, do you think you'll be able to have a boyfriend?

Daria: If they aren't as stupid to sacrifice themselves for popularity, I suppose so.

Trent: Okay, cool. (He leans over and kisses Daria. They hold for about a minute.)

Daria: Wow.

Trent: Yeah.

Daria: Does this mean

Trent: Uh huh.

Daria: Okay. (Smiles, Trent smiles back.)

Scene 9- Villa of Spain restaurant. Mara and Michael have been seated, the meals
have just been served. They are sharing paella (Seafood, rice, etc.)

Mara: You're what?

Michael: A spy. A secret agent, if you will.

Mara: Wow, cool!

Michael: I'm not with any government, or anything like that. I have the gear, I know how
to use it, et cetera.

Mara: Can you bug people?

Michael: Just did. A friend of mine has a sister who's a real brat. We bugged her
locker, spilled food on her, and ruined her date. She didn't see us, we were using
invisibility belt.

Mara (Takes a forkful of shrimp): Man, you're living a cool life.

Michael: Yeah, but it could be better. (Takes a bite of lobster.) Thank you,

Mara: How could it be better?

Michael: By having someone else in my life.

Mara: What do you oh, wait, I get it. You don't have a girlfriend?

Michael: Nah. How about you? Got a boyfriend?

Mara: Most of the people I know here are all tourists. Not enough to hold a relationship.

Michael: I guess so.

(After a while, the food is gone. Michael picks up the check and they depart.)

Mara: Wow, that's a beautiful sunset.

Michael (Inadvertently looking at Mara): Yeah, you are beautiful.

Mara: I meant the sunset.

Michael: The sunset's not as pretty.

Mara (Blushing): You, sir, are a hopeless romantic.

Michael: Don't applaud, just throw money. Mastercard and Visa accepted.

Mara (With a playful slug on the arm): Yeah, yeah.

(Shortly after they are on the midway again, at the shooting booth.)

Mara: These things are impossible. I know- I live here.

Michael: Trust me.

(Michael takes aim at the sheet of paper with the star in the middle. He shoots until he
is out of pellets, then admires his handiwork. The outline of the red star is all that

Attendant: Congratulations, sir. Which prize would you like?

Michael: Hmm (Scrutinizing) I'll take that pearl necklace. Is it real?

Attendant (Retrieves the prize): Yes, sir. 100% real pearls. Have it appraised, if you'd
like. (Hands it over.) For your lady friend, I presume?

Mara: I hope so.

Michael: You bet. (Puts it around Mara's neck) A little something to remember me by.

Mara (Fingering the necklace): This is great! Thanks! (Kisses Michael on the cheek.)

Michael (Blushing): It was nothing from one Air Force nut to the other.

Mara: Oh, you.

(Shortly after they are walking on the beach. Pan over to Jane and Daria, who are
discussing the evening's events.)

Daria: Well, so much for Michael.

Jane: Yeah, Jesse told me that Trent was going to try to kiss you tonight I suppose it
went through?

Daria: Yeah, he did. And I think you were wrong about Michael liking me look over

(Points to Michael and Mara walking along the shoreline)

Jane: Hmmm well, I guess I'm never going to be a matchmaker.

(Pan to Michael and Mara)

Mara: Michael, tonight has just been well, magical. I never knew that real nice guys
were out there.

Michael: I know I never thought that anyone like you could ever come into my life.. and
while I'm on vacation. What are the odds, huh?

Mara: Yeah. (They sit down at the edge of the water, far enough so they don't get wet.
Mara puts her arm around Michael's shoulder and hugs him, Michael responds in kind.)

Michael: It doesn't get any better than this.

Mara: It could.

Michael: What do you (He looks into Mara's sparkling eyes and the twinkle provides his
answer. He puts his hand behind her head, pulls her hair, and kisses Mara, stroking her
hair while he holds her close. After about a minute or two, they release.)

Mara: Whoa.

Michael: Oh yeah.

Mara: Was that your first?

Michael: Yeah. Yours?

Mara: Yep.

Michael: I enjoyed it.

Mara: Me too.

Michael: This is the most pointless conversation I've ever had.

Mara: Same here. Want to head back to wherever you're from?

Michael: The hotel? Sure, but one condition- nothing.. er.. overly physical, if you get my

Mara: I had no intention, usually it's the guys who initiate that.

Michael: I feel as if I'm representing all the males on earth now.

Mara: Look, it gets pretty chilly here at night. Let's head someplace indoors, OK?

Michael: Sure.

Mara: Where ya staying?

Michael: Double Tree Suites.

Mara (Eyes wide): The Double Tree? Man, that's the best place! Alternomega is
treating you guys like gods.

Michael (Grinning): You haven't seen our rooms yet.

Scene 10- Back at the Luxury Suite. Mara is sampling the minibar, whilst Michael is
flipping through the TV channels to find something good on.

Mara: Oh, man! Teuscher's Chocolates!

Michael: That was my reaction.

Mara: Here we go.. (Pulls out a bottle of non-alcoholic Dom Perignon '85 and two
chilled glasses) Relax, there's no alcohol.

Michael: Perfect. I can stagger around with the bottle and fool people.

Mara (Smiling): Show that to your parents, if they ever quit burning incense. (Pours two
glasses of champagne)

Michael: Here's to us, the definitive made-for-each other couple.

Mara: To us. (They clink glasses and sip.) Not bad for fizzy expensive grape juice.

Michael: Yeah.

(Daria, Jane, Trent and Jesse all walk in.)

Daria: Are we interrupting anything?

Michael: Please, don't bother to knock.

Mara: We're only burglars, don't mind us.

Jane: Stopping for champagne? Raid the minibar after you steal the valuables, I guess.

Michael (Sighing): Jane, Daria, Jesse, Trent, this is Mara Jacobs. We just met this

Mara: Love at first sight, I guess.

Daria: Whoa now- I thought you liked me.

Michael: As a friend, yes.

Daria: I mean more than a friend.

Michael: We're okay right now, thanks.

Daria: Well, Jane told me that you liked me more than a friend.

Michael: Jane told you? (Daria and Michael both glare.)

Jane: Okay.. it's just I'm a tad uncomfortable with you dating my brother!

Trent: How so?

Jane: If you two ever get married, she'll be my sister! What does that tell you?

Trent: Janey, it's like, love spans and conquers all. You shouldn't be worried. Let those
concerned do the worrying.

Michael: That's deep, dude.

Trent: Thanks. I saw it in a heavy metal philosophy show.

Daria: Yeah. Let us handle things.

Jane: Well, I guess you're right. We're cool?

Daria & Trent: Yeah.

Mara (Applauding): Oscars for all.

Jane: Let's all hunker down, huh? Enough excitement for one night.

Michael: Yup. I...

(Voice of Lowry comes from the hallway)

Lowry: Ad dollars Mystic Spiral millions! Easy exploitable dumb kids.

Trent: Hmm...our band name, plus the word "exploit" in the same sentence. Not a good

Michael: I can figure out what he's going for.

Jane: How?

Mara: I think I can answer that he'll dress up in a black outfit, night vision goggles, and
sneak into Lowry's room and do secret spy things.

Daria: I suppose you found out that he's a secret agent.

Mara: Touché.

Michael: Okay, I'm just gonna go in, look around, and get out. Got it?

Mara: Yep. Good luck.

(Michael walks to the door and suddenly spins around and rushes back.)

Michael: Almost forgot.. for luck. (He sweeps Mara up in his arms and kisses her
deeply.) Okay, now I can go. (Michael exits.)

Mara: He's one in a million, you gotta admit that.

Jane: Yeah. A tad eccentric, but the spy gear makes up for it.

Scene 11- Lowry's office. Michael has just picked the lock on the door. The office is
empty. After looking around in a file cabinet, he removes a folder marked
"Endorsements: Mystic Spiral."

Michael (Whispering): Jackpot...

(He takes the folder and hears a jittering at the door.

Lowry (Voice): Dammit, the lock's stuck!

Michael: Uh oh.

(Michael calmly walks to the window, opens it up, aims a grappling hook launcher to the
roof, fires, leaps out, and free-falls for a few moments until the hook catches on the
roof. He hangs on for dear life as he manually lowers the rope. A few seconds later he
is at the Luxury Suite window. He raps on the glass as Daria answers.)

Daria: What'd you find?

Michael: You won't believe it! Just let me in?

(Daria opens the window. Michael jumps inside as the grappling hook falls to the

Michael: Just in time. Here. (Hands over a folder.) It's plans to have Trent and Jesse
endorse products onstage. They have to say how much they love Diet Pepsi before
they start playing.

Trent: Damn. First the Spice Girls, and now us.

Jesse: We shouldn't stand for this, man.

Jane: Yeah. Y'know what you should do? Tell this guy you do it for free, and that's it.

Michael: Read the Post-It note.

(The note reads "Note- have them do it for the endorsement, or BAM!")

Mara: So much for that.

Michael: Okay, I say we get out of here before they can track us back. We'll
embarrass him.

Trent: No. We'll go on. You guys stay here- it's going to get hairy.

Jane: Huh? We can take care of ourselves.

Trent: If Alternomega can afford all this, they probably have snipers.

Daria: Yeah, I suppose so.

Michael: Here, take these. (Holds up two small palm-sized devices.) Bullet shields.
Press the red button and they activate.

Trent: Thanks. Let's get some sleep, it's a big day tomorrow.

Mara: Yeah, we gotta upstage a major rock tour.

Scene 12- The next day, the Alternomega stadium. Trent and Jesse are backstage,
getting ready.

Jesse: Yo, man, this is cool. We're gonna take down this Lowry dude, huh?

Trent: Yeah. I just hope we don't get killed.

Jesse: I sure hope not. Better get those bullet shields on.

Trent: Got it. That Michael is a cool guy. Having a secret agent for a friend can come in

Jesse: His girlfriend's not that bad, either.

Trent: Right but it's his girlfriend. He deserves her.

(Lowry walks up.)

Lowry: Hey, guys, what's up?

Trent: Hey, Mr. Lowry.

Lowry: Guys, there's something I need you to do

(Back at the hotel, Michael, Daria, Jane and Mara are watching from the microcamera
in Trent's shirt collar.)

Michael: Perfect. Call Helen, tell her we have a little surprise for her. They need to
discuss these things in contracts, don't they?

Daria: Nah. Let's just humiliate him.

Michael: Shh he's continuing.

Lowry: So all you have to do is endorse Diet Pepsi, OK?

Trent: Not OK. We don't endorse anything.

(The announcer chimes in.)

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, get ready for the hail of Lawndale, the fantastic, the
elastic, the always prismatic, the magical, the marvelous, MYSTIC SPIRAL!

Trent: That's our cue.

(Lowry frowns and walks off. He picks up a walkie-talkie and speaks.)

Lowry: Get the snipers ready.

(Trent and Jesse walk up onstage. The crowd cheers. Their backup drummer slaps his
sticks together and they start playing "Icebox Woman.")

Trent: You're an angel in black, you've sure got the knack

(Unnoticed to anyone, a man in sunglasses way in back opens up a briefcase and
assembles a sniper's rife. He activates the aim scope and lines up on Trent's eye. His
target is relatively still. He rechecks the aim)

Trent: Of putting my heart on the shelf in the back!

(The sniper chambers a round and unsafes the gun.)

Trent: When will it be my turn, oh, when will I learn?

(He aims back onto Trent's eye and prepares to fire.)

Trent: My poor heart, you're giving it freezer burn!

(He pulls the trigger as Trent and Jesse start the guitar solos. The bullet shields work
perfectly- the bullet fizzles into a spiderweb of energy as the backup arrives- police
officers arrest Lowry backstage. In a few minutes, the song is done and they are
offstage. They check back at the airport.)

Trent: How'd everything go?

Michael: We salvaged everything we could and did some shopping at Old Orchard

Mara: We bought pound upon pound of food, the most expensive souvenirs well, you
get the drill.

Michael: I was able to get some tickets back home, I'm pretty sure our cards are going
to be canceled, so let's board, huh?

Mara: My bags are packed, and as I recall, my parents are already at the house in
Lawndale. As I recall, it's right next to yours, Michael.

Michael: Great. I can show you around.

Daria: Please, you two are making me sick.

Trent: C'mon, Daria. We've got each other, leave 'em alone.

Daria: Yeah.

(They board the plane and it takes off shortly. Several hours later, they are back in

Scene 13- The Morgendorffer dinner table. All are present, eager to hear about
Daria's trip to Maine.

Quinn: Let me guess- you were bored out of your skull most of the time?

Daria: Actually, we spotted a contract violation, I fell in love, saw some cool places,
and had a kick-ass hotel room.

Jake: Hey, sound's like your trip was a success, kiddo!

Helen: Yes, you must have had a wonderful time, right?

Daria: Actually, no.

Quinn: Well, at least Jon and I got back together.

Daria: Joyness. I'm in love with an older man, we had really nice fluffy beds, free room
service, imported chocolates, non-alcoholic champagne, and free everything.

Quinn: Really?

Daria: Figure it out. Excuse me, I have a call to make.

(Daria walks upstairs and calls Jane.)

Jane: Yo.

Daria: Hi. Anything new?

Jane: Nah. You?

Daria: Nope.