Sailor Brittany
By Mitch

DARIA is owned by MTV Networks. Daria Morgendorffer created by Glenn Eichler. Used
without permission.

SAILOR MOON is owned by Naoko Takeuchi/Kodansha and TOEI Animation. Created by
Naoko T. Used without permission.

NOTE: This story is for the purpose of parody. Also, Daria doesn't have too much to do
with it.

Even today, they talk of her in whispers. Admittedly, she is now just a rumor and few had
even seen her the way she was then. In any case, she did exist, even though there is no
evidence. She was Brittany Taylor: Sailor Brittany.

Brittany herself didn't know what it was all about on that day when five new students entered
Lawndale High because of an exchange program. The five girls still wore their old school
uniforms for some crazy reason. Brittany tried to ignore them but one day they came to her,
saying that she was the Sailor Scout of Lawndale (whatever that meant). They gave a
magic pen that activated when she said "LAWNDALE POWER". It gave her long gloves
and fancy boots as well as a small tiara and a bow on the center of her shirt. The girls told
her that something called the Negaverse had set it's sights on Lawndale as well as their
own home town. They said it was Brittany's job to protect her school and hometown and
she had a "Pom-Pom Attack" to perform it. When the girls left, Brittany mainly used her
powers to strike at the spoil-sports and party-poopers that had always bothered her. All the
other students were unaware of her double identity except for Daria Morgendorffer, Jane
Lane, Jodie Landon, and Mack. This wasn't because she confided in them. They said it
was because there wasn't a big difference in appearance between cheerleader Brittney
and Sailor Brittney. She never found out how they saw through her clever disguise.

In her last battle, she faced a deadly, purple, energy draining monster that had attacked the
Lawndale High gym. Most of the students fled, leaving the monster to Sailor Brittney.
Before she could attack, however, a spiked football fell between her and the creature. She
looked up and saw her boyfriend Kevin in a tuxedo, cape, mask, and hat.

"I am Tuxedo Kevin. Don't worry babe, look in your...uh...heart, or somethin', to, uh..."

"I can handle this myself!" shouted Brittney.

She then yelled "POM-POM ATTACK!" and pom-poms fired from her hands and banished the monster to another dimension. Later, Brittney told Kevin that she didn't need a philosophical tuxedo wearing hero to save her. It didn't matter though. The Scouts returned and told Britt that the Negaverse would now stay away from Lawndale and her services were no longer needed. Brittney reluctantly returned her transformation pen and went back to her old life. Still, there are whispers, mainly among Quinn and the Fashion Club, and the pusado-legend of Sailor Brittney will forever live on at Lawndale High.