Daria + Kyle - Trent = Kaboom!!!
by janelane25

This story takes place right after ‘Jane’s addiction. It’s is written in episode like format right now but rest assured I will eventually write it in regular form. Oh yeah Daria and all related characters are property of MTV and do not belong to me and yadda, yadda. So without further adieu. Daria + Kyle - Trent = Kaboom!!!

(Episode starts the with the usual theme song and then goes to Daria, and Jane sitting in the living room ofthe Lane house. They are eating pizza from the pizza king. The box is on the coffee table.)

Jane: So why do they call it a coffee table when I have never seen anyone drinking coffee on it?

Daria: Um Jane who’s they?

Jane: I don’t know... oh now I do! The guy who invented the coffee table!

Daria: Jane that was one per- never mind. So what’s on the old fun agenda this weekend?

Jane: Well me and Tom are going to see Notting Hill. He said that you and Trent should go too. (Gets an
evil smirk on her face.)

Daria: Jane is this Trent thing going to be an obsession of you and Tom for the rest of my life?

Jane: No. Just until we find someone else who appreciates our efforts to hook them up with their one true
love... that’s all.

Daria: Good. (They pause.)

Jane: Let’s see what’s on Sick Sad World. (They turn on the TV and go to channel 3.)

Daria: I see that the living room TV has finally been fixed.

Jane: Yeah, to my surprise Trent fixed it. Of course we were without power for about a week.

Daria: Are you sure that wasn’t just you or Trent forgetting to pay the bill?

Jane: Maybe. I can’t remember.

Sick Sad World announcer: She met someone else, he did too. But the only problem, his girl was a gorilla
animal magnetism next on Sick Sad World.

Jan: Damn, reruns. (Suddenly a chord shakes the whole house. The TV shows static and the lights flicker.)
Stupid band rehearsals. I’m going to yell at Trent again. He has to stop turning that damn amp up like that!
This is so annoying, my lights have been screwed up for the past week! (They get up and go downstairs.
Trent and the band are playing ‘Mr. Normal (it was you)’. They stop.)

Max: Nick! How many times do I have to tell you. I have the perfect rhythm! You’re the one who’s
slowing the whole damn song down!!!

Nick: Oh sure blame it all on me! I mean it’s not like you ever put your own drumming in on a song!!

Trent: He’s right man.

Nick, and Max simultaneously: Stay out of this!

Trent: Let’s take a break.

Jesse: Cool. (They relax putting down their instruments.)

Trent: Hey Janey, Daria.

Jane: Yo Trent. Do you think you and the Barney brigade can head over to Jesse’s to practice? Your
starting to peel the paint off the walls upstairs. And you broke the TV again.

Trent: Sorry Janey, we got a big gig coming up we can’t carry all this stuff to Jesse’s. So until our gig we’ll
be taking paint off all the walls. Hey Paint peeling that would be a cool song

Jane: Oh god! That gig isn’t for a week!

Trent: Sorry, can’t help you

Jane: But-.

Trent: (putting his hand up to silence her) Sorry little sister. can’t do it. Okay guys let’s get cracking. (They
go back to playing.)

Jane: I just keep telling myself this is just a bad dream

Daria: well too bad that isn’t true ( Another chord shakes the house. Jane and Daria wince. Scene cuts to
the Morgendorffer house. Jake is snoring in front of the TV. Helen is walking around picking up her brief
case, putting her earrings on, etc. Daria walks in. She sits on the floor and turns the channel to Sick Sad

SSW announcer: He had several bionic limbs installed but now he uses all of them to cheat on his girlfriend
the busy body now on Sick Sad World. (doorbell rings. And Daria answers it. It’s Jane and Tom.)

Daria: Thank god. (commercial break.)

(Back to the fun he-he)

Tom: We were going to a party at my friend Kyle’s house. You wanna go? The band’s playing there.

Daria: That was the big gig? A party?

Jane: Hey give the band a break. To them playing at the airport while people are waiting for their planes is a
big gig. This is their moment...

Tom: Yeah and there’s about a hundred people there. Come on.

Daria: Hold on let me ask my mom. (she walks into the kitchen and sees Helen.) Hey mom can I go to-
(she is cut off)

Helen: yes Daria be home by eleven! I’ve got a big meeting out of town. I’m leaving now. Eric, and I are

Daria: Okay have fun mom. (She leaves. To herself) that was almost too easy. (They get into Tom’s new
car and go to the party. They go inside. Mystik Spiral is playing ‘From the Futon.’ They take a five minute
break. Trent and Nick walk up.)

Nick: Hi guys. Is it mine or Max’s fault the song got screwed up?

Daria: Neither the song was bad to begin with...

Trent: Hey I wrote that song!

Jane: Sorry Trent. You know how right before you pass out when your really drunk you decide to be Mr.
Honest, well Daria’s that way all the time

Trent: Oh okay... whatever. I’m going to get a wine cooler. You want one Daria?

Daria: Sure. (they head over to the cooler. Trent picks up a wild berry, and strawberry kiwi wine coolers.
Her hands the wild berry to Daria. She pops the top off and sips it.)

Trent: So, um cool party huh?

Daria: yeah if you like 98 drunk people hitting on you thinking you’re the opposite sex.

Trent: (does his laugh/cough thing.) yeah five guys have hit on me tonight already, Well I gotta get back...

Daria: Sure(He leaves. The band starts up again. Daria goes over and stands with Jane and Tom. They are
holding hands and Daria looks forlorn well as sad as Daria can look without looking pathetic. The Band
starts to play a slow song and she looks ready to cry. Out of no where a guy with a bottle of water bumps
into her. He spills a little on her jacket.)

Guy: I’m really sorry.

Daria: That’s okay. (She brushes herself off. Tom walks up with Jane at his side.)

Tom: Hey Kyle.

Kyle: Hi man, what’s up?

Tom: Kyle this girl you spilled water on is Daria this is Jane, my girlfriend.

Daria: Hi Kyle.

Kyle: So Daria... um you like the band I hired?

Daria: Sure well as, long as they don’t play music their okay

Kyle: (smiles) So, Daria. (this is clearly awkward. So I’ll type what Kyle looks like. He’s tall, has dirty
blonde hair, and bluish eyes. He is wearing a GAP T- Shirt, and a pair of baggy dark blue carpenter Jeans.
His hair is cut mushroom style and he is pretty good looking.) Um you wanna dance?

Daria: Sure. (The two head out to the middle of the living room. And Kyle wraps his arms around her waist
and her arms are around his neck. The two are dancing pretty close. Cue to Trent. He looks over and sees
the two dancing. He suddenly looks very hurt. But he quickly hides it and continues to sing. The song ends.

Cue to later. Trent and the band are talking when suddenly the radio begins to play the song, ‘All I have to
give’ By the Backstreet Boys comes on. Trent looks over at Daria and Jane, with Kyle and Tom. Jane and
Tom are holding hands naturally and Kyle and Daria are sitting next to one another, they are talking and
Daria is smiling.)

Trent: (VO thought) I’ve never seen her smile like that, Oh no!!! I’ve lost her for good! (He suddenly looks
sad. He looks down and turns away. Cue to later. Tom’s car has broken down and Trent is stuck with
riding Jesse, Max, Nick, Tom, Jane, and Daria home. Jesse is shotgun, and the others are cramped in the
back. Nick and Daria are crushed side by side and they are looking in opposite directions. Then Max is
sitting with his arms crossed trying to stay awake. Then Tom and Jane are side by side. They are cuddled
together. Trent drops Jesse, Max, Nick and Tom off. Daria is shotty and Jane is asleep in the back.)

Trent: (coldly) I see you met Kyle...

Daria: (not catching it because it is so veiled) Yeah. (She smiles) He’s a pretty cool guy.

Trent: (Pulls up to Daria’s house. Even colder than before.) Se ya Daria. (she gets out.)

Daria(before she slams the door. The music plays at the part where they sing. but my love is all I have to
give. Without you, I don’t think I can live. I wish I could give the world to you, but love is all I have to
give!) Well Trent see ya. (she walks to her door. The tank pulls away.)

Jane: (She sits up. She has picked up all of Trent’s iciness) Well Trent you had the warmth of a snow pea
back there... so what’s up with you?

Trent: None of your business Janey. Leave me alone! (Jane backs off. Her eyes wide with surprise at
Trent’s sudden anger. Commercial break. La, la, LA, la, la. La, la, LA, la, la. Back from the commercial
break. At the Lane house. Trent is in his basement room. He is listening to a CD by Backstreet Boys. (I
know, I know I’m obsessed with them. Thanks to Ellie for introducing me to the band!!!) The song is ‘I’d
go anywhere for you’)

Trent: I don’t know how they have so many admirers! But that song does remind me of Daria a little. Oh
stop Trent! She’s seventeen for God’s sake!

Your twenty two. Kyle is only twenty. Daria would logically date someone close to her age! And she’d
never go with you anyway. Kyle is better looking. Why would she even look at you? (He pauses) God I
have to stop talking to myself like that. Oh shut up! (Cue to Daria’s room. Titanic’s ‘My heart will go on,' is
playing on the radio. She is writing a poem in a notebook.)

Daria: (VO thought as she writes) Torn between to loves, I don’t know what I must do, my heart tells me
to choose, but which love is really true? Somehow I know that Trent is right for me, but then there Kyle the
sweetest guy, this is my silent misery, decisions must be made now, hearts must be broken, my heart will be
one of their sweet love tokens (VO stops as Quinn barges into the room.)

Quinn: Hey Daria do you think that black and gray go okay together or should I just of the old classic black
and white?

Daria: Could you please knock next time? But I think black and white it’s very simple. Hey Just like your
brain (Quinn goes hmph! And leaves. That night The band, Tom, Jane, Daria and Kyle decide to go to a
club. Kyle and Daria have been going out for about two weeks. They are very close. They stand side by
side and hold hands. Trent keeps giving Kyle deadly looks. Then he goes back to looking miserable.
Suddenly the song, ‘Where can my baby be?’ The remake of the 50’s song by Pearl Jam comes on.)

Kyle: (Takes Daria’s hand.) Wanna dance? (the two go out and dance close. Trent looks at them and
looks so dejected and angry and hurt all at the same time, he almost starts crying. He goes to the bar and
drinks about three shots to get rid of the pain and emptiness inside him. Commercial break. Slow motion of
Trent looking very hurt dejected and angry. End commercial break. Daria and Kyle are in Daria’s room.
They are sitting on the bed talking.)

Daria: (getting up.) I’ll get us some sodas, be right back. (She leaves. Then Kyle looks around. He sees her
journal on the floor it’s open. He picks it up and begins to read. He turns to the first few pages)

Kyle: (reading aloud softly) I think that I’m in love, with Trent. I know it sounds crazy but I think I am my
heart races every time I see him and when he says my name it feels like a knife cutting through me I don’t
know why but it does it’s crazy and it feels like a roller coaster but the good kind of sick you get from
riding it (He hears Daria coming quickly replaces the journal.)

Daria: (Handing him the coke.) Wanna watch Sick Sad World? (cue to the Lane residence. Trent is in his
room. He strums his guitar, and tries to think of words to a song.) How do I tell you, what I’m feeling now?
How I’m feeling rejected and low and hurt and kicked around. My heart is like an open wound. And it
clearly reads Tea leaves of it’s own doom! Oh Daria, Daria.... (Jane is passing by. She stops in front of his

Jane: Hey Trent.

Trent: (abruptly stops singing) Hi Janey um did you want anything?

Jane: Couldn’t help overhearing your little song. Your jealous aren’t you?

Trent: No way! Well maybe... yes! I am Jane! I don’t know what to do (Cue to later Daria rings the
doorbell. Trent answers. His hair is all wet, and it’s apparent that he has just taken a shower.

Trent: Hey Daria. What’s up?

Daria: Have you seen Kyle around?

Trent: No why?

Daria: Well we had a fight the other day and I’ve been looking for him But if you haven’t seen him, I’ll see
ya. (Begins to walk away.)

Trent: (realizing his chance) Um Daria.

Daria: (Turning back around.) Yeah?

Trent: If you find Kyle and he breaks your heart I’ll be right there to pick up the pieces...

Daria: Thanks Trent, you’re a really great friend. (walks away.)

Trent (closing the door): Yeah but being a great friend doesn’t get you to go out with me. (cue to later.
Kyle is at the park alone. He is sitting on the swings. Daria approaches)

Daria: Hi.

Kyle: Hi.

Daria: Why were you mad at me yesterday?

Kyle: Look Daria I’m not gonna lie to you... (at this point ‘Speechless’ by Hanson plays very softly in the
background.) I read your diary. I know how you feel about Trent

Daria: Wait a minute you looked through my stuff?!

Kyle: it was sitting on the floor. I’m sorry but I can’t go out with a girl who is fantasizing about someone
else while their with me I guess what I’m saying is we should break up. (Song stops.)

Daria: Oh you know what fine. I can’t believe you violated my privacy! You read my journal!

Kyle: Well I can’t believe that your in love with a guy who has no idea what the word relationship means!

Daria: what are you talking about?

Kyle: Don’t be an idiot Daria! Do you know how many women Trent has probably slept with!??!?!?

Daria: I don’t even wanna hear this!

Kyle: Fine! See ya around. (Gets up and storms off. Song ‘I drive myself crazy’ by N’Sync lays. Cue to
Daria laying in bed. Her eyes are red and puffy. She rolls over. Cue to Trent. He’s awake too. Cue to next
morning. Daria miserably rings the Lane’s doorbell. Trent answers.)

Trent: hi Daria. (he notices she is miserable.) What happened?

Daria: Kyle broke up with me (starts crying again. Trent invites her in and then he turns on the radio, and
pulls out two cups for coffee. On the radio ‘I’ll never break your heart’ by Backstreet Boys plays. Trent
sits down next to Daria.)

Daria: I don’t know what the hell happened. I thought I could trust him

Trent: Daria, (she looks at him. He begins to sing softly.) I’ll never break your heart. I’ll never make you
cry, I’d rather die than live with out, you I’ll give you all of me honey that’s no lie. (they kiss and episode
ends. Song continues. And alter egos. Daria as a popular person, Trent as a vampire, Jane as a paintbrush,
Jodie as Toni Braxton, Mack as a Pikachu, Kevin as a football being kicked, Brittany as an old housewife
with a rolling pin, Quinn as a freak, and Kyle as a mangles painting.

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