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It's My Party and I'll Hide If I Want To
by Fickling, Jossie

Summary: Jane throws Daria a party, Daria and Trent write a song for Jane. Watch the drama unfold.......

 

Daria and related characters were used without permission, so have mercy on my virgin soul. This is my first fanfic and I do have ideas for my next one, so you have been warned. If there are things mentioned in here that you feel have been taken from other fanfics, I’m sorry. I’m really making this an original work, so don’t send the Mafia after me. They already know that I owe them money.

Since this is my first fanfic, if you have better ideas for music in scenes (please say you do), drop my a line at iamthequeen@chickmail.com because I wanna know. And if you have any cool poetry (I’ve been having a dry spell) tell me. You will be in the credits, I’m not one to take all the credit. Also, I didn’t put any commercials in because I couldn’t really see where good places would be for them.

Okay, now on with the show!

We hear Splendora and see the cool beginning, and then the famous shot of Daria’s face, an orange background and in lovely Daria font, we see "It’s My Party and I’ll Hide if I Want To."

Beginning of "Local God" from Everclear.

A Wednesday morning, Shot of Daria and Jane walking to school.

Jane: So are you gonna come over on Sunday night for our movie or will Helen and Jake have you on a leash?

Daria: No, I’ll definitely be over.

Jane: (excitedly) Great!

Daria has surprised look on her face. She glances at Jane with a strange look on her face.

Jane: (innocently) What?

Daria: By your reaction, I would say that you are planning something...

Jane:...No!

Daria: But since I have no proof, I guess I’ll let that one slide.

Jane: No need to worry. What’s on the movie agenda for this week?

Daria: I don’t know. (Deadpan) Ooh, lets watch some old movie and dress as the characters.

Jane: (Smirks evilly) Now there’s an idea!

Daria: Um..I was kidding. (Hesitantly) Jane, what are you planning?

Jane: Nothing! (pissy) God, Daria, can’t a girl be excited about the weekend?

Daria: Yeah, but..

Jane: (Interrupting) I mean, do you have to wonder every time I get a "bright idea"?

Daria: No, but..

Jane: Must you assume that I’m up to something?

Daria: I was just wondering. (pissed) God, Lane, calm down. Its just a question.

Pause

Jane: Oh....Sorry.

Shot of the two in front of the school as the bell rings. Cut to 2 hours later. We see Trent’s room, with him asleep on his bed. He is snoring and is awakened by the incessant quacking of his duck phone.

Trent: (tiredly) Hello? Oh, hi....Okay, yeah. (Pause) Yeah, I know. Okay. Bye.

Trent hangs up the phone and looks around his room. Pan to the wall he is looking at. On it we see a calendar with Sunday circled on it in red.

Trent: Man, I hope you know what you are doing.

"A Challenge" from the Romeo and Juliet soundtrack plays. He then proceeds to grab his acoustic guitar, a pad of paper and a pen, and walks out of his room.

Shot of him walking down the stairs which fades into a shot of him walking down the basement stairs. He first sits on an old fruit crate, then plucks a couple of strings on the guitar and scribbles some words on the pad. This goes on for a little while. He stops to read the lines.

Trent: Whoa, what am I thinking?

He crumples up the paper, ripping it off the pad, and throws it behind him.

Trent: I think waking up early was a bad idea. Maybe (sleepily) if I just rest my eyes.....

He falls into a deep sleep.

Cut to Daria and Jane eating lunch. Lauryn Hill’s "Everything is Everything" plays.

Jane: So I was thinking, maybe we could do that.

Daria: Do what?

Jane: Dress as characters in a movie. Just for fun.

Daria: I guess that’s harmless enough. What were you thinking of?

Jane: Pleasantville?

Daria: Oh, God no. Keep those damn poodle skirts away from me.

Jane: Okay, how about Pippy Longstocking? You got the hair for it.

Daria: Fuck you.

Jane: What? I’m just trying to think here. You don’t have to get pissy.

Daria: Sorry, but braids bring back horrific memories.

Jane: I see.....how about Copycat?

Daria: And that would be...

Jane:...A psychologist and a detective looking for a serial killer who likes to one-up his killing competition.

Daria: Thrilling.

Jane: Okay, so you don’t have to dress up. (Trailing off) I guess it will have to do...

Daria: Lane, you worry me. You’re planning something. I can tell, yet you hide it so well.

Jane: I aim to please. (Smirks) You know, Trent will be home.

Daria: I expect him to be sleeping or practicing at that time.

Jane: Hey, he’s not dating anyone now? (Smirks evilly)

Daria: "Now?"

Jane: (Oblivious) "Now" what? Are you so obsessed that you are analyzing sentences?

Daria: No! (Defensive) It just sounded like....

Jane: Yeah right. Do you think he’d rather date someone or get his beauty sleep? Come on now, Daria. (Pause) You know, we could always watch that. You seemed to like it before.

Daria: What?

Jane: Trent’s sleeping.

Daria: Drop it, Lane!

Jane: Oh, come on. This is the 90’s now. We women ask men out.

Daria: (Grasping for an excuse) But there’s a 5 year age difference between me and Trent. It’d never work out anyway.

Jane: Now you’re just making excuses. You know age isn’t an issue for you.

Daria: (calmly) Listen, I’m happy just being friends with him.

Jane: But you’d like to be more than friends, huh?

Daria glares at Jane.

Jane: Why don’t you come over this afternoon. Trent will be there.

The glare deepens.

Daria: If I come over, am I to expect that you will nonchalantly leave me in the same room as Trent, making me feel like a complete idiot?

Jane: Ah, amigo, you know me too well.

"Escape from Mantua" from R&J soundtrack plays. Shot of Daria and Jane entering the Lane house. We see the two walking into the kitchen. An unusual silence engulfs the house.

Daria: Think Trent’s asleep?

Jane: Most likely. I can’t imagine him awake right now. Let us visit him in dreamland.

Daria: Sure, and then I’ll tell Trent how I really feel for him and give him a lap dance.

Jane stares at her with disbelief.

Daria: Did I just say that out loud?

Jane: So that’s what you want, eh?

Daria: Just walk, Lane.

Cut to Jane and Daria knocking on Trent’s door. After hearing no answer, they walk inside to see an empty room.

Jane: That’s strange.

Daria: Really. (Looking around) Trent and his guitar are nowhere to be found.

Jane: (Looking around) Well, where the hell is he?

Daria: (Spots the calendar and lunges for it, nearly knocking Jane over.) Oh my God, a rat!

Jane: (looking) Where? (Notices Daria’s face) (suspiciously) Really? A rat?

Daria: (forcing sincerity) Yeah, it was big and...and..and black! (Stands up in front of the calendar.) Boy, was it black.

Jane: Okay....Did you hear something?

Daria: Yeah, (listening) I think it is....

Shot of heat vent. Soft snoring can be heard coming from the vent.

Jane and Daria: (in unison) Trent sleeping.

Fade to shot of Daria and Jane walking down the basement steps. Daria races ahead of Jane and lunges again, only this time, waking Trent. Daria lands on her stomach, sliding into an awakening Trent. Trent mumbles something, Daria replies, and the two quickly get up. Jane watches this in disbelief.

Jane: What’s going on?

Trent and Daria: (In unison) Nothing... nothing.

Jane: Trent, are you up to something?

Trent: Um, no, I can’t say that I am.

Daria: (Looking about) (whispering to Trent) Slightly befuddled, there?

Trent: (whispering) Nothing sounded good.

Daria: (whispering) I guess not. I didn’t think it would be so hard to...

Both notice that Jane is watching them.

Daria: Nevermind.

Jane: I smell a rat. Two of them, as a matter of fact.

Trent: Oh, Janey, lay off. Daria here is just....just (grasping for an answer)....

Daria: Protecting his work. Don’t want anyone reading it before its finished.

Trent: Um..yeah. (Changing the subject) You know, I’m really thirsty. Lets get something to drink.

Daria: For once, I agree. Jane?

Jane: I’ll just, um, go get some sodas then. She walks up the stairs and closes the door slightly. Shot of her confused face as she walks away from the door.

"Hot Show" from Prozzak plays.

Daria: Great planning, Einstein.

Trent: Sorry. I got a little tired of what I was writing.

Daria: I guess so. Do you think she has any ideas?

Trent: Who, Janey? Naw.

Moment of silence. They start picking up the papers and throwing them towards a nearby garbage can.

Trent: Hey, I think its pretty cool, what you’re doing for Janey.

Daria: Well, thank you. She means a lot to me. And this is how I can tell her.

Trent: Well, do you know when you will.

Daria: No, I would tell her soon, but I think she’d think its for a guilt trip for a birthday present.

Trent: Yeah, that’s in what, 2 weeks?

Daria: (surprised) How do you know?

Trent: (Looking up at her) Come on, Daria. I wouldn’t forget your birthday. You’re Janey’s best friend. That would be like forgetting how to play in open D tuning.

Daria: Um, okay.

Trent: I mean, I’m surprised I remembered the party on Sunday.

Daria: What party?

Walking to School, Thursday morning. "La Isla Bonita" from Madonna (sorry) plays.

Jane: Well, can you blame me?

Daria: Yes. You went behind my back. Now I must stab you. Stab you I say.

Jane: Its not my fault. Trent was supposed to keep it a secret.

Daria: I can’t believe you’re having a party on Sunday. What about "Bad Movie Night?" Jane: Well, what were you going to do? Actually watch a movie with Sigourney Weaver in it?

Daria: Oh, God.

Jane: Plus, think of it this way: You get to watch a bunch of posers without paying for a ticket to a play.

Daria: Gee, sounds lovely.

Jane: Cheer up. Trent will be there.

Rumbling car approaches. "Adore" from Smashing Pumpkins plays from car.

Daria: Speak of the Devil.

Tires squeal to a halt.

Trent: Hey Janey. Hey Daria.

Jane: Hey Trent.

Daria: (in low voice) Hi.

Jane: Trent, what are you doing up so early?

Trent: Practice got out early. Or late. Whatever.

Jane: Oh.

Trent: Daria...(motions for her to come with his finger)

Daria: (coming over to car) Yes, mighty safe-keeper?

Trent: I think I found some good mixes, mind if I run them by you tonight. Say 7:30?

Daria: Okay, fine. (Speaking up) Yeah, that would be great!

Jane: What?

Trent: (Going along with it) Mystic Spiral is gonna play at the party.

Jane: Cool. Well, um, we gotta go to school, so, bye Trent.

Daria: Yeah, bye.

Trent drives off. Music fades. Daria returns to Jane’s side.

Jane: In light of this momentous occasion, I believe that invitations must be made.

Daria: I’ll make them. Then I’ll be sure to send them straight to the trash can.

Jane: Cheer up. At least you won’t be stuck having to see Quinn all night. She’ll be too busy with some lowlife idiot of a guy.

Daria: No, three of them.

In Brittany’s car. "Barbie Girl" from Aqua plays.

Brittany: Did you hear? Daria’s having a party this weekend.

Kevin: Really? Who would come to her party?

Brittany: I don’t know. Oooh! We could come.

Kevin: Why would we come to a brain’s party?

Brittany: Kevie, have a heart! We don’t want her to not have anyone come, right? That might make her upset. Plus, if there isn’t anyone cool there, we can always make out upstairs.

Kevin: That’s true.

Brittany: Then its settled. We’ll go to Daria’s party!

Kevin: Yeah!

In school corridor, "Cumbersome" from Seven Mary Three plays.

Daria: Why is everyone staring at me?

Jane: I don’t know.

Daria glares at Jane.

Jane: Okay, so maybe I told like, 2 people.

Jodie stops them in the hallway.

Jodie: Daria, I heard that you’re having a party this weekend.

Jane makes "ix-nay on the arty-pay" signs to Jodie.

Jodie: (understanding, recovering quickly) I mean, Jane, you’re having a party this weekend.

Daria: (not noticing the mix up) Gee, I wonder who told you.

Jane: Probably just a friendly bird.

Jodie: So, I was wondering, would it be okay if I brought Mack and a few of his friends over.

Jane: Sure it is! The more the merrier.

Jodie: Great. See you later. Walks away. The two continue to stand.

Daria: You do realize that I have to kill you now.

Jane: Come on, Just think of how much time you’ll get to spend with Trent. Isn’t it worth a few more people coming?

Daria: I suppose. But I’m still pissed that people know.

In Ms. Barch’s Science Lab, "Enter My Mind" from Drain STH plays.

Ms. Barch: Now class, can any of you tell me why this experiment did not work? Pause. Kevin?!

Kevin: Umm, uhh...Pause.. What experiment?

Ms. Barch: The experiment sitting right in front of you, you incompetent....male!

Kevin: Oh! Yeah! Umm, there’s no mice....

Ms. Barch: ...Shut up Kevin! Daria?

Daria: The experiment did not have a constant field to check the variables against. Therefore testing the experiment a total waste of time and money.

Ms. Barch: Much like my marriage. By the way, very good, Daria. Now, class, can anyone tell me.....Trails off.

Kevin: Daria, why isn’t there any mice in this experiment?

Daria: Because we’re having them served to us at lunch today.

Kevin: Really? Cool! Shot to Brittany.

Brittany: I think this is a really good thing we’re doing for Daria, inviting some popular people to her party, don’t you, Jodie?

Jodie: How did you find out about her party?

Brittany: I heard her friend Jane say something about a party yesterday.

Jodie: So why did you invite popular people to her party? Don’t you think she has any friends?

Brittany: Jodie! She’s never even worn nail polish! Do you think she’d have any friends?

Jodie: Its amazing that you have so many...

Interruption over loudspeaker:

Ms. Li’s voice: Daria Morgandorffer, please come to my office at once.

Daria: I don’t know how I’ll keep up with the work.

Kevin: Huh?

Ms. Barch: Shut up!

Daria in Ms. Li’s office

Ms. Li: Ms. Morgandorffer, I am pleased to see that you are opening yourself to people by having a party.

Daria: Its not my party, its Jane’s.

Ms. Li: Well, anyway, its nice to see that she invited you to expand your sssocial horizons.

Daria: But its not.....

Ms. Li: Get back to c lass!

"Lost Ones" from Lauryn Hill plays. Later that night, about 7:30 p.m.. A car can be heard shutting off from outside Daria’s window, and we see that Trent is walking along the sidewalk toward the Morgendorffer home. Daria walks downstairs and out the door, ushering Trent and his guitar into the back yard.

Daria: Trent, its not that I don’t trust you, but I don’t want to subject you to my parents. It can cause permanent brain damage.

Trent: Okay, that’s cool.

We see Daria peek into a living room window and guide Trent into the house. He follows her upstairs as she stops by Quinn’s room. The door is partly open, and we can hear her talking on the phone. Daria walks past the door normally and motions for Trent to follow. Just as he follows, shot of Quinn walking toward the door. Daria hears this, Grabs Trent’s wrist and yanks him into her room. Daria slams the door behind her. We see Quinn walk up to her door with curiosity.

Shot of Daria and Trent in Daria’s room.

Daria: That was close.

Trent: Yeah, (looks around) Cool room, Daria.

Daria: You’ve been in here before, Trent.

Trent: Yeah, I know. I just never noticed it.

Knock at Daria’s Door.

Quinn: (o.s.) Daria, what’s going on?

Daria: (freaking out) Nothing! (Walks up to Trent, grabs her closet doorknob, opens the closet and shoves him in it.) Nothing at all.

Daria closes the door making a "be quiet" motion to Trent.

Quinn: (o.s.) I’m coming in, Daria.

Daria grabs a book and lands on her bed as Quinn turns the knob.

Quinn: (Walking in) What’s going on, Daria?

Daria: (calmly) Nothing. I told you.

Quinn: (looking around the room) Nothing, eh?

Daria: That’s what I said, Einstein.

Quinn: (Grabbing Trent’s guitar) What is this doing here?

Daria looks up and her eyes widen.

Daria: (to herself) Think of something, brain!

Quinn: I’m waiting.

Daria: Oh, Trent offered to teach me to play the guitar. (to herself) Good one.

Quinn: Oh. (Setting the guitar down) Then shouldn’t he be here with you?

Daria: (to herself) Damn. (out loud) No, I decided to teach myself. You know how Mom and Dad would freak out if I had a guy in my room.

Quinn: (realizing) I see your point. But that still doesn’t explain your actions.

Daria: When have you ever been able to explain my actions?

Quinn: Whatever. Anyways, I’m going out. See ya later.

Quinn walks out the room and shuts the door behind her. Daria looks out the window and sees Quinn enter a car. As the car drives away, Daria walks over to the closet door and opens it. Trent starts to walk out as a knock is heard at the door.

Helen: (o.s.)Daria?

Daria shoves Trent back into the closet, shuts the door and runs for her door.

Daria: (opening the door) Yeah, mom?

Helen: Your father and I are going over to the Gupty’s for a "Parental Success" meeting. We’ll be back around 10:00. Will you be alright alone?

Daria: (dripping with sarcasm) Oh, no mom. The Bogeyman might get me.

Helen: (sighs) Daria, we’re leaving now. Be back in a while. (She walks away)

Daria: Bye. (closes her door.) Daria walks over to her window and watches her parents drives away. She then walks over to the closet and opens it.

Trent: (walking out) Whoa. That was close.

Daria: Yeah, I know.

Trent: Who wrote all that weird poetry in your closet?

Daria: The last owner of this room. So....

The two look at each other.

Trent: (Grabbing his guitar) Well, how bout I play for you what I have?

Daria: (Sitting on her bed) Okay.

Trent walks over to her bed and sits down in front of her, on the floor. He starts strumming away as Daria starts daydreaming.

Trent: "I had no one before I met you

You were the coolest, you know that its true

You made me smirk, even when I was blue

Your my best friend, your my best friend, you my best friend...."

We see Daria in the Lane back yard. Mystic Spiral is playing, Trent is singing the song to an audience of one: Daria. In an instrumental break, Trent jumps down from a platform and over to Daria.

Daria: Trent, what are you doing?

Trent: (Sets down his guitar) Something I should have done a long time ago.

Trent leans toward Daria, he caresses her face and leans closer to Daria. His lips are thisclose to Daria’s.....

Trent: (out of dream sequence) ...You’re my best friend. (Looking at Daria) So, what do you think.

Daria: (snapping out of it) It sounds, great, Trent. It sounds great.

Trent: Really? Thanks, Daria.

Silence engulfs the room.

Daria: So....

Trent: So...

Daria: So, you want something to drink?

Trent: Sure.

The two walk downstairs, Daria before Trent, and into the kitchen. Daria opens the door and she and Trent look inside.

Shot from inside the fridge looking out at D and T.

Daria: See anything you want. (to herself) smooth, real smooth.

Trent: Not really.

The two stand there for a little bit.

Daria: So, do you want to watch TV?

Trent: Naw. (long pause) I should be getting back. Got practice.

Daria: (closes the door) Okay.

Shot of Trent walking upstairs. Daria sits down on a couch and turns on the TV.

Fifteen minutes later...Daria is still watching TV. Trent hasn’t come downstairs yet.

Daria: I wonder what he’s doing.

We see Daria walk upstairs and into her room. The door is open and the TV is blaring.

Daria: (walking in) Trent, did you get....(Sees Trent asleep on her bed.)....lost?

Daria walks over to her bed and sits down beside Trent, like in "Lane Miserables". She places her hand on his arm.

Daria: Trent? (Gets up and turns off her TV) Trent? (Sits down again) Wake up.

Trent: (sleepily) Officer, I swear she was over 18...(waking up) ...Oh, hey Daria.

Daria: Trent, maybe you should go home and get some sleep.

Trent: (sitting up) Yeah, you’re right.

Daria gets up and hands him his guitar. He takes it and they walk downstairs. Daria stops when Trent reaches for the door.

Daria: Trent...

Trent: Yeah Daria?

Daria: (pause) um...Thanks.

Trent: For what?

Daria: For helping, writing the song, everything.

Trent: No problem. Anything for the coolest high schooler I know.

Daria: You must not know too many.

Trent: Really, Daria. You are the coolest.

Daria: (smiles) Thanks, Trent.

Trent: (smiles back) Yeah. See ya, Daria. (He hugs her)

Daria: (returns the hug) See ya.

Trent walks out the door and down the sidewalk to his car. Daria closes the door and smirks that lovely Mona Lisa smile of hers.

Shot of Daria Sleeping in bed later that night. She turns her head sideways on her pillow, and she can smell Trent on it. She inhales the sweet essence and is taken away to dreamland.

Fade to her dream sequence. "Whatever" from the Butthole Surfers is playing.

Daria is walking around an empty corridor. On the walls are pictures of Trent when Daria has been with him. Included are from Road Worrier, Pierced, Crass and Roots, The Invitation, Daria!, Lane Miserables... With each picture she sees, a sequence of the two of them together talking or what have you. (a montage if you will)

Daria sees Trent in the distance walking toward her. He stops a few feet in front of her.

Daria: Trent, what are you doing in my dream?

Trent: What do you mean? This is my dream.

Shot of Daria immediately waking up. She shoots up on her bed.

Friday morning, Shot of Daria at her locker. She’s getting books out when Jane comes up to her.

Jane: So, did you have a good night’s sleep? You look like you lost a fight with a light socket.

Daria: Please, just put me out of my misery.

Jane: What? Bad dream?

Daria: Not bad, just scary.

Jane: What happened? Did you and Brittany have a mind merge?

Daria: (deadpan) Ha ha ha. Gee, you sure are funny.

Jane: I try. So really, what is bugging you.

Daria: I guess this party is. Ms. Li thought I was trying to make new friends or something. Then she told me that a party would be good for me. Said it would increase my people skills.

Jane: What’s wrong with your people skills?

Daria: Why did she think the party was mine?

Jane: She probably had her wires crossed.

Daria: That wouldn’t be all.

The bell rings.

Shot of Daria walking home from school. In the distance a hooptie car can be heard. The car pulls up along side of Daria and a voice comes out of it.

Trent: Hey Daria.

Daria: (startled) Hi, Trent. She blushes slightly.

Trent: Hey. He walks out of his car after turning it off. I had a weird dream last night.

Daria: Really.

Trent: Yeah, I saw all these people dancing around and people actually liking Mystic Spiral’s music.

Daria: That is weird.

Trent: Then I walked up to you....

Daria: ...Yes, Trent... They look into each other’s eyes.

Trent: Then I woke up.

Daria: (peeved) Oh... yeah.

Trent: Well I should get going. Mystic Spiral has to practice.

Daria: Isn’t it a little early to be practicing?

Trent: I’m not sure. I’ve lost my concept of time.

Daria: I guess I’ll see you later then.

Trent: Yup. They smile. See you at the party.

Daria: Bye.

Trent drives off.

Shot of the Morgandorffers eating dinner.

Quinn: Hey, mom. Guess what I heard today.

Daria looks up, startled.

Helen: What was that, sweetie?

Quinn: I heard that Daria was having a party for her birthday.

Jake: Really honey? That’s great!

Daria and Quinn: What?!

Helen: Jake, shut up! Daria, I did not say you could have a party. I didn’t even know you wanted one, if you ask me.

Daria: Well, I didn’t plan it. It just kinda fell in my lap.

Quinn: Yeah, right, Daria. You know your just trying to join the popular people. Pissed off. Well guess what? Your not going to ruin my life again! I’m leaving.

Quinn stomps out of the kitchen. After a pause...

Helen: Daria, you are not having a party, end of discussion.

Daria: Mom, it’s not my party. I just found out about it the other day. Anyway, Jane’s having it.

Helen: Will there be adult supervision?

Daria: Yes. (to herself) There will be adults there, just not supervising.

Helen: Well, I guess you can go then. I expect you home by midnight.

Daria: Two.

Helen: One.

Daria: One-thirty.

Jake: One-twenty five.

Daria: (quickly) DONE! Gets up and leaves the room.

Helen: Dammit, Jake!

Jake: (innocently) What? I wanted to play too.

Cut to Saturday Afternoon. Daria is up in her room with the cordless phone. She dials the Lane’s phone number.

Split screen of Daria and Lane house. Trent picks up the phone.

Trent: Hello?

Daria: (blushing) Trent? Hi.

Trent: Hi, Daria. What’s up?

Daria: Well, I was wondering if I could talk to Jane.

Trent: Yeah, just a minute.

Daria: Well, wait. I was wondering if you’ve still got the song in your head.

Trent: Of course I do, Daria.

Daria: Good.

Trent: Yeah, the first Lane-Morgendorffer collaboration.

Daria: (to herself) And hopefully not the last.

Trent: And hopefully not the last.

Daria: (surprised) Really?

Trent: Yeah. You’re a really great writer.

Daria: (blushing) Oh, thanks.

Pause.

Daria: So, can I talk to Jane?

Trent: Sure, bye Daria.

We see Trent set the phone down.

Trent: (o.s.) Janey, phone.

Jane walks in and picks up the phone.

Jane: Yo.

Daria: What’s up?

Jane: Nothing. What were you and Trent talking about.

Daria: Nothing. (changing the subject) So, need any help setting up for the party.

Jane: I was just gonna go out and get some food, you wanna help?

Daria: Sure.

Cut to Shot of Daria and Jane walking into supermarket from far away. Cut to Daria and Jane pushing a cart along isles of chips and dip.

Daria: Flat or ridgy, you make the call.

Jane: Why does that sound familiar?

Daria: Considering that there will be band members at a party, should we get food or clean syringes?

Jane: (fake) Oh, yes. I’m sure Max, Nick, Jesse, and Trent would love you if they heard that joke. (Normal) Most likely, they’d cast you off into exile like they did me.

Daria: But don’t you get along with the band?

Jane: Yeah, I’m just wondering how you will.

Daria: Why?

Jane: Ummm....(swishy backflash)

Backflash to about a week earlier. Mystic Spiral is in the Lane Basement and Jane is with them. The guys are taking a break from practicing.

Trent: Yeah, the other day Daria...

Max: (interrupting) Daria? Your sister Janey’s friend?

Trent: Yeah, anyway....

Nick: Trent, how old is your girlfriend, exactly?

Trent: (peeved) She’s not my girlfriend...

Max: I hope not man. Word of that could be bad for our reps.

Trent: (Defensive) What do you mean by that?

Nick: Come on, Trent. That would be rape by police standards.

Trent: (really mad) Listen, guys. She’s just a friend. And even if I did like her, I don’t see why you have to get down on me.

Jesse: Lay off, guys. No need to argue.

Max: (continuing) Trent, Man, she’s a child. It’s against the law.

Nick: And I don’t want to be affiliated with a guy who could be charged as a child molester.

Trent: (exhausted) I’m not gonna do anything. Chill.

Swishy effect comes back to Daria and Jane.

Jane: (coming out of dream).... No reason.

Daria: (suspecting) Okay, Lane. I give up. Lets just get the food and go.

It is now Sunday late afternoon. Small montage between Daria and Jane. New Freestylers (I can’t remember what it’s called!) is playing in background.

Shot of Daria looking through her closet, and we see 7 sets of her usual outfit, and 3 sets of those cool Doc Marten Boots. Cut to shot of Jane wearing a chef’s hat putting a cake pan in the oven, only to see that it’s not working. Cut to Daria sneaking into Quinn’s room and opening her closet. Cut to Jane placing the cake pan in her mother’s kiln, and slapping her hands together as to say "well done, Jane". Cut to Trent asleep in his room. Cut to Daria smuggling a shirt out of Quinn’s room and sneaking into her own. Cut to Jane carrying the cake into the house and slamming it down on the stove. Cut to Daria brushing her hair. Cut to Jane mixing colors in plastic containers, cake in background. Cut to Trent, still asleep on his bed. Cut to shot of a clock that reads 7:00 p.m. Cut to shot of Jane decked out in a red T-shirt, long black skirt, boots, and hair back in ponytail ("See Jane Run"). Cut to shot of Daria in a gray babydoll shirt, blue jeans, and a long black, crocheted sweater/jacket. And of course, her kick ass boots. Cut to shot of Trent still asleep in bed. End Montage.

Cut to shot of Jane running up her stairs and into Trent’s room. Radiohead’s "Talk Show Host" is blasting from his stereo. Jane walks up to Trent’s bed.

Jane: (Yelling) Trent! (pause) Trent, get up, its after seven and the band isn’t here yet!

Trent moves a little, but is still asleep. Jane now goes up to the stereo and turns it off. He continues sleeping. Jane walks up to Trent and leans near his face.

Jane: (evilly) Trent, I showed Daria your songbook.

Trent shoots up from his bed.

Trent: (worried, tired) Janey, you didn’t!

Jane: (smirking) No, I didn’t. She isn’t even here yet. (anxious) And neither is Mystic Spiral. Why?

Trent: Oh, I have to call them. Max is bringing the Tank. I’ll be down in a while.

Jane: Okay, just promise me you guys won’t ruin this. Or fall asleep.

Trent: Yeah, whatever. Bye Janey.

Jane walks out the room and into her room. She looks at her wrist, reading her digital watch "7:11"

Jane: If they even bring that up again....

"Twenty One" from The Cranberries leads us into the next scene. Cut to shot of Helen and Jake sitting in living room. Both are on a couch, Helen is going over a deposition, Jake is reading a book on Golf. Pan to Quinn sitting opposite her parents, putting on makeup. Pan to shot of everyone, and we can see Daria walking downstairs in her outfit. Everyone turns around to look. Helen wears a surprised look, Jake is looking at her, but not seeming to be thinking. Quinn has a peeved/surprised look on her face.

Helen: Well, sweetie, you look nice.

Quinn: Yeah, Daria. You almost look normal.

Daria: (deadpan) Gee, hearing that makes me want to change. (turning around) I’ll just go...

Helen: (standing up) Oh no you won’t, missy. You look just fine the way you are. Doesn’t she, Jake?

Jake: (confused) Hmmm? Oh yeah, wow Daria. You changed you clothes!

Helen: (pissed) Jake! Can’t you for once pay attention to what goes on around you?

Jake: But I was!

Helen: Like hell you were....

Quinn: Please stop fighting, I can’t hear myself think.

Daria: Somehow that doesn’t seem to be a problem.

The phone rings. Quinn reaches over to the coffee table and picks it up.

Quinn: (loudly) Hello?

Jake: (continuing) I really was paying attention, Helen, its just this book...

Helen: You and your damn books or newspapers....

Quinn: (covering the mouthpiece) Be quiet, I can’t tell if Matthew or Corey is on the phone...

Helen: (stopping) Quinn, how dare you tell your parents to be quiet!

Jake: Umm, yeah Quinn. Go to your room.

Quinn: (standing up) That’s a good idea. (into phone) Just a minute....(Walks upstairs)

There is a moment of silence. After a while Daria heads for the door.

Daria: Well, I guess I’ll head to Jane’s. I’ll see you later.

Jake: Okay, kiddo.

Helen: Be careful. Are you sure you don’t need a ride?

Daria: I’ll be fine, thank you. Bye.

Jake and Helen: Bye sweetie.

Daria grabs the doorknob and opens the door, to see Trent, arm up, about to knock on the door.

Daria: Oh, hi Trent.

Trent: Hey Daria.

Helen: (hearing this) Trent?

Jake: Hmm..(realizing, looking up) Oh, hey dude.

Trent: Uh, hi Mr. and Mrs. M. (turning to Daria) I just came to give you a ride. Is that cool?

Daria: Yeah. I guess I won’t be walking then. (to her parents) Well, I’ll see you later then. Bye.

Jake: Bye kiddo, See you later, dude.

Helen: (under her breath) Oh, geez. (normal) Bye kids.

We see Trent lead Daria out of the door and the door close. Pan to Helen and Jake looking from the door to each other. Helen slaps Jake in the back of the head. Jake nearly falls over forward.

Jake: What?!

"Where It’s At" from Beck is playing now. Cut to shot of Trent and Daria getting out of Trent’s car. Trent walks around the front to Daria, who is standing at the sidewalk.

Trent: Well, are you nervous?

Daria: No, not really. You still know the words don’t you?

Trent: (Tapping his head) Its all in here.

Daria: (to herself) That’s what worries me. (aloud) Well, shouldn’t we go in.

Trent: Um, yeah. (Lifts his arm up as to escort her inside.)

Daria: (looks at his arm, then to his eyes, and slips her arm in his) Thanks.

Trent: (grinning) No problem.

Cut to shot of the two walking arm in arm up to the front door. We see Trent open up the door and usher Daria in, then let himself inside the house. "Glory" from Sugar Ray is blasting from outside. Some people are scattered around the house. Both Trent and Daria look around.

Trent: Well, Daria, I should be going. Gotta start playing before I forget all our words.

Daria: Yeah, well... Thanks for the ride, then.

Trent: No problem. I’ll see ya. (walks away)

Daria: Bye. (looks around) Okay, now where is Jane?

Cut to shot of Jane putting a cake into the fridge. Her colored frosting is still sitting on the counter, and her hands are colored rainbow colors. She looks around the room and sees Daria looking around in the living room. Quickly Jane runs to the faucet and washes her hands, trying to scrub the gunk and colors off of her hands as best she can.

Cut to shot of Daria seeing Jane at the sink. She walks into the kitchen and clears her throat. Jane turns around, eyes wide.

Jane: (surprised) Wow, don’t we look nice?

Daria: Laugh and I’ll deck ya.

Jane: I’m not laughing. You really do look nice.

Daria: (waiting for a joke) Oh, well, then. (looking at Jane’s ensemble) I must return the compliment. You look nice too.

Jane: Thanks. (turns toward Daria) So, see anything cool yet?

Daria: No. And I don’t plan on it for now.

Jane: Good Idea. (Hears Mystic Spiral warming up in background) Hey, should we check out what’s outside?

Daria: Wouldn’t you know?

Jane: Well, I left the band to set up everything.

Daria: "Set up everything?" Jane?

Jane: Lets just go.

We see the two walk out of the kitchen and into the living room. Cut to shot of Daria and Jane walking out of doorway and into backyard. Pan to full shot of yard: Christmas lights strewn around perimeter, Mystic Spiral on a platform toward the farthest part of back yard, lawn furniture everywhere, and a "Happy Birthday Daria!" sign hanging above the doorway. A giant box is over part of the door to the fallout shelter where Amanda Lane does her pottery. Cut to shot of Daria and Jane. Daria is wide-eyed, Jane is smirking evilly. All the people there gather round the two, except for Mystic Spiral. We can see Brittany, Kevin, Jodie, Mack, The three J’s, Andrea, Upchuck, and other anonymous members of LHS.

All: (except Daria) Happy Birthday, Daria!

Daria: (surprised) Ummm, I don’t know what to say.

Jane: How about, "Gee thanks guys!"

Daria: I was thinking more along the lines of, "My birthday isn’t for another two weeks."

All partygoers go about what they were doing before. Music from speakers stops.

Jane: That’s why I had it today. You wouldn’t really suspect it.

Daria: You got that right.

Cut to shot of Trent tapping a mic. He clears his throat and strums a few notes on his guitar.

Trent: Um, hello. We’re Mystic Spiral, but we’re thinking of changing our name. First off, I wanna tell my friend Daria "Happy Birthday," we hope the day is cool for you. (cheers from the crowd) Well, our first song is one we’ve been working on for a while. Its a cover of an old classic, I hope you like it.

Trent backs away from the mic and the band starts playing.

Trent: (singing) Its my party and I cry if I want to...

Cry if I want to...

Cry if I want to...

You would cry too if it happened to you....

Cut to Daria and Jane. They are standing in a corner, talking.

Daria: I must say, the song choice sucks, but the music is good.

Jane: Yeah, Max dug up some of his mom’s old 45’s and got inspired. Many moons went into that song.

Daria: Yeah, I bet. (Looks ahead) Oh no.

Jane: (looks too) Rat boy at ten o’clock.

Upchuck approaches holding a piece of paper.

Upchuck: Helllooo, ladies. How are you doing on this fine evening.

Daria: Fine until you came along.

Jane: Yeah, the night was almost bearable.

Upchuck: Well, don’t let me spoil it for both of you.

Jane: Too late.

Upchuck: How can I make it up to you?

Daria: (to herself) Let us both kill you and we can call the night a success. (Aloud) Don’t bother trying.

Jane: Yeah, you might make it worse. (they shoot him evil looks)

Upchuck: Umm... anyway, I brought this for you, Daaaaarrria. I think I will come in handy, if you know what I mean. (Hands the paper to her)

Daria: (taking and reading it) You are pure evil, Upchuck.

Jane: (curious) What is it?

Upchuck: Its a rain check. I can’t make this a night of eeeexxxtacy for you today, but on your birthday, I’m open.

Jane: I think she’ll be busy that day.

Upchuck: Why?

Daria: I’ll still be recovering from the repulsiveness of this letter.

Jane: Now, please leave us in peace.

Daria: Or I’ll be forced to call Animal Control on you.

Upchuck: Oooh, Feisty! Later, laaadies! (walks away)

Jane: Well, now you know of one person who wants you.

Daria: Pervert.

Jane: What? I bet there’s more.

Daria: I don’t want to hear it. (Mack and Jodie approach)

Jodie: Hey Daria. Happy Birthday.

Mack: Yeah, Happy Birthday.

Daria: Thanks.

Jane: Are you enjoying your night.

Jodie: Yeah, I wouldn’t plan on seeing Brittany or Kevin though.

Daria: Why not?

Mack: They left to go to Brit’s house. She got her Jacuzzi in.

Cut to shot of Jane and Daria looking at each other. Cut to shot of Mystic Spiral playing, Close up to Trent singing.

Trent: (singing) ...you would cry too if it happened to you...

(slower) you would cry too...if it happened to you.

The crowd of people start cheering as the band goes into "Behind My Eyelids."

Jodie: Well, I’m going to get something to drink. You want something, honey?

Mack: I’ll come with you. Later guys.

Jane: Later. (to Daria) Hey, I got something to show you.

Daria: Lets go then. (Starts to leave)

Jane: Just stay here, I’ll be right back.

Daria: (stops) O-kay.

Jane walks off. Cut to Daria standing alone. She looks around and decides to sit down. As she sits, she looks a the band to see how they’re doing. She looks at Trent, admiring him.

Daria: (to herself) Why do I like someone like Trent? We think alike and all, but he’d never be attracted to me. Just another mindless crush. (Suddenly she locks eyes with Trent)

Oh, my God. Do something. (she waves a little to him, causing Trent to wink in return)

(aloud) Daria, you suck.

Cut to band playing.

Trent:....A place that’s just for me...

Behind my eyelids..

The crowd cheers. We see the band, except for Trent, set their instruments down and walk off the platform. Trent approaches the mic.

Trent: (normal) We’re gone take a break. We’ll be back in a few. (Someone turns on "B.B.K." from KoRn) Yeah, listen to that.

Trent has his guitar hanging behind him and walks off the platform, heading toward Daria. He stops, standing a foot in front of her.

Trent: Hey, quick practice session?

Daria: Um, okay.

Trent reaches his hands down to her and pulls her up. Daria, surprised by this, loses her balance and falls into his arms. The two look into each other’s eyes.

Daria: (embarrassed) Umm, sorry about that.

Trent: (embarrassed) It’s okay. (grabs her hands, tries to balance her) Umm, are you okay?

Daria: Yeah. Lets go before anyone notices.

The two walk toward the house and see Jane coming.

Daria: Um, Trent, Jane is heading this way.

Trent: No problem.

Trent grabs Daria’s hand and lead her to the fallout shelter. He quickly opens the door and gets in, leading her in at the same time. The room is dark.

Trent: You think she saw us?

Daria: No, not really. (pause) Its kinda dark in here.

Trent: Yeah, the light is around here somewhere. (footsteps, then a crash) Ah! Dumb pottery wheel.

Daria: Are you okay?

Trent: Yeah. (flips a switch) Here we go. (we see that Trent knocked the wheel on its side. He is across the room from Daria) Come here, Daria.

Daria: (walking to Trent, to herself) Don’t freak out, you’re just going over a song with Trent. No need to freak out. (aloud) Okay.

Trent: Hey, cool outfit. Didn’t even notice it before.

Daria: (blushing) Um, thanks, I think. (changing the subject) Shouldn’t we go over the song?

Trent: Yeah. (grabs the guitar) "To my little sister Janey, from Daria"

(strums his guitar) (singing) I had no one before you...

You were (forgetting) um, the, (stops strumming) Damn.

Daria: You forgot?!

Trent: Um, yeah. I’m sorry, Daria. It gets worse the harder I try to remember. (hangs head in shame)

Daria: (to herself) Why didn’t I think this would happen? (aloud, staring at him, upset) Trent, this was so important, and...(looks at him) and...I’m not mad at you.

Trent: (looks up at her) You’re not?

Daria: (calmer) No. I’ll just have to tell her the old fashioned way.

Trent: Maybe when I get onstage, it’ll come to me.

Daria: Don’t wrack your brain trying, okay.

Trent: (disbelief) I can’t believe I forgot Janey’s song. My own sister.

Daria: (outstretches her arms) It’s okay. (the two hug) I’m surprised you remembered as long as you did.

Trent: (pulling away) Yeah, me too.

Daria: Well, we should face the world now, shouldn’t we?

Trent: Yeah, we should.

Daria heads for the door and stops halfway there. Trent looks down and slings the guitar behind him. He walks up to Daria, turns around and turns the light off, then finds his way to the door. He opens it and lets Daria out first. He walks out and closes the door. Jane quickly approaches them.

Jane: (peeved) Daria, what were you and Trent doing? I was looking all over for you.

Trent: We were trying to remember the song we wrote for you, but it didn’t work.

Daria: Yeah, Trent forgot the words, but it said mostly how much I appreciate our friendship. You mean a lot to me, Jane. And I thought you should know.

Jane: So that’s what you were doing? (surprised) Wow, Daria. (at a loss) I don’t know what to say. (Looks at her) Thanks, compadre. (they hug)

Daria: Thank you. I probably would have gone insane if it weren’t for you.

Jane: (tearing up) Wow. And Trent, (they hug) Thank you too.

Trent: Yup.

The three stop all of their mushy behavior when they hear fighting noises. A crowd has gathered in a corner of the yard. The three walk over and see Jesse trying to break up Max and Nicholas. The two are yelling and an occasional "your fault" and "your idea" can be heard from within. Trent jumps in and pulls Max away as Jesse pulls Nick away.

Nick: It’s not my fault he’s like that! I’m so sick of this band. I’m leaving. (shakes away from Jesse and walks away)

Max: Well I didn’t tell him its okay to do that stuff. (looks around) I’m outta here. (to Trent) Hope you don’t get charged with rape, man. (Trent releases him in disbelief. Max walks away)

Trent: I’m not sleeping with her!!!

Jesse: Uh oh....

Jane: Oh, no....

Daria: What the HELL??

The crowd starts talking looking at Trent and Daria. Some are pointing and saying "those two?" in disbelief.

Trent: (looking around) Jess, lets get everyone out of here.

Jesse: Yeah, um,(yelling) go, everybody leave!

Cut to shot of Daria and Jane inside the Lane house, in Jane’s room. Jane is painting something while Daria is laying on the bed, head hanging off the end.

Daria: (disbelief) They think Trent and I were....

Jane: Yeah, that’s why I worried about them playing. They’re afraid they’ll get bad publicity.

Daria: I’d think they’d be happy with any publicity.

Jane: (thinking) Yeah, me too. (knock at the door) Yeah?

Trent: (peeking his head inside) Can I come in?

Jane: Its up to Daria.

Daria: Go ahead.

Trent: (walking in) Um, Jesse was tearing things down outside, Janey. You wanna help him?

Jane: (confusedly) O-kay. (walks out of the room)

Daria: (Standing up) What do you want, Trent.

Trent: Well, I want to apologize for tonight. I didn’t think the guys would blow up like that.

Daria: I didn’t know they thought that.

Trent: (uncomfortable) Yeah, sorry. You forgive me?

Daria: (hesitantly) Yeah, sure.

Trent: Cuz I don’t want you to think that I think of you the way they said I think of you.

Daria: Okay....

Trent: I mean, I...I think it’d be cool to hang out sometime, you and me.

Daria: I agree.

Trent: Really? (Start "Coffee and TV" from Blur)

Daria: (sighs) Yes, Trent. It sounds like fun.

Trent: Cool. I’ll remember that. (Daria stares at him) No, I really will.

Daria: Sure Trent.

Trent: (his hands on her shoulders) I will. I promise. He kisses her cheek.

Daria smiles her Mona Lisa smile, and Trent smiles back. Closing shot of him and Daria walking out of Jane’s room. Fade out.

Music runs through ending credits and the snazzy alter-ego’s.

O-B-K-B, there you have it. Any comments or what have you, drop me a line!

iamthequeen@chickmail.com

C-ya next time!

The Queen @):)