Gold Dust

By T.G. Clown

I was aware that yesterday was the prom. Most of my friends didn't go because they know better. "Prom's just for bunch of stuck up weirdoes who pretend to be something that they're not," is what my friends told me--I agree and I don't question that. Then you hear the teachers saying that prom's a high school experience that you'll remember forever--yeah right, acting like a drunken asshole? What an excellent experience! Yeah...

I noticed that everyone got stressed out from the early prom plans and became extremely frustrated. Oh yeah, this girl was so excited about the prom that she wanted to raise a lot of money so that we could have it at a decent place, but suddenly she became anti-prom because her new cool punk friend was against it. Yeah...

Prom kicks in my dress is prettier, I spent the most money, my date is cuter competitions. Furthermore, prom sucks away all of your money and leaves you broke. You also have to get a date or go with the singles crowd--what a pain in the ass. And why should I go? I am not going to have any fun! Going there all dressed up like an "elegant adult" (yeah right). Oh please, I rather stay home, sleep and save my money for something more worth while--like buying excellent CD's, buying old magazines or save it to pay for my tuition.

This girl that I know named, Lauren, who thinks that she is a slick, smart, hotshot, everyone's friend, rich, and I can get away with anything type of gal came to my house with a hang over from the prom. I wondered why she came...I mean, I am not even friends with her. I guess she just wanted to show that she had shitloads of fun drinking, hanging out of limousine, spending money, and making an ass out of herself.

"Had fun?" I asked.

She looked dazed and walked clumsily, bumping into my $5.75 lamps.

"I had so much fun! We got so drunk and I came home at 6:00 a.m. Why didn't you come?" she asked.

"I didn't want to go...Actually I kinda forgot about it," I said.

Lauren came and sat next to me on my ripped green bean bag couch. She looked really dumb, ugly, jerky, and shitty. She still had her make up on and wore a messed up bird's nest as hair. The funny thing was, she probably believed that she was being really cool--all wasted.

"I got drunk."

"Yeah, you told me. Gees...I think you're supposed to rub lemon under your arms or something if you have a hang over."

"What?" Lauren asked.

"I heard it on Good Morning America," I replied.

Lauren continued to blabber about her stupid night out. She even told me that her dress and shoes were black, how her date wanted to go to this club in the city, how they couldn't find the bathroom, and so on.

Lauren leaned back and I stared at her. "Please just leave," I thought to myself.

Then I notice this big moist, yellow, orange, crusty, looking ear wax just about to fall on my couch. I got so grossed out and just slowly looked away. And she didn't even know that there was this nasty wax hanging out of her ear. Man, she was vulgar. Gross, man... Gross...

"Why don't you go home and sleep or something. You look really tired."

"Yeah, I think I will...Good bye," Lauren got up slowly and walked out the door.

"Good bye..." I waved.

Yeah, get the hell out of my house you fuckin' loser!

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