Phony or Pony

by Fungus Amongus

This is a late night story written off a bunch of first and second hand information. This one is about a guy I knew for a while. I'll call him Danny. This Danny makes me feel so incredibly Potent. He makes me feel so masculine inside. It's hard to describe this feeling I get when I look into those unfixed eyes of Danny. When I stand next to him he looks like a morose and lost yellow chick. I try not to see him now, despite these Uplifting feelings. I honestly feel bad telling you about Danny. I'm thinking, who wouldn't? He was a helpless guy. I don't think he ever harmed anyone whether he had capacity to or not. He was indifferent towards everything. The talk is that Danny has been Raped by a Girl. This is why I brought him up. I'm reminded of this little incident often due to loudmouths in my apartment. It is not because of a guilty conscious. I doubt I should have one. The guy I am does not know how this incident is possible. The girl's name is Amber and she's Very thin and Fragile. She's a girl I'll break and take down anytime. Amber is known for being easy and ditsy. The talk about rape came up after a bunch of events. Amber was trying to seduce Danny and he naturally wouldn't proceed. From what I heard Danny just froze like a nervous wreck. Amber was in for taking advantage of Danny. She harassed him and asked him why it was so limp and clammy. It goes on from there. I ask myself again how this is possible. Amber is the type of girl you can have total control over. She's the kind of girl you would take advantage of over and over and yet have no remorse for. Besides, she is the one who likes Opening up to strangers. Then again Danny is not any different, in that vulnerable sense. My experiences with Amber tells me that this is a lie, but with Danny you never know. From knowing Danny over years, he is a Very easy target. He's a guy you can kick around and steal from. He'll notice something missing and won't do anything about it. Danny can be totally belittled and stepped on. Then he'll ask me politely when I am finished. This isn't even an exaggeration. He's a real mouse. I have no sympathy for guys who have no pride and are tormented because of it. They deserve it, treating themselves that way. By no astonishment, Danny's worst problem is Girls. Before this, he's had problems with a girl I refer to as Nose Girl. I call her Nose Girl because her nose is like Wayne Gretzky's. Other than the nose, Nose Girl is a damn Fine looking girl whom I'd kill to get down with. This Nose Girl hung out with Danny a couple of times. She literally had to drag him out of his apartment because Danny has socializing problems. The biggest complaint I got about Danny from Nose Girl was that he's too quiet. You couldn't tell if he was sleeping in the same bed as you. He is a laid back guy. Most of the time he sleeps. Danny is a horrible accompaniment. He took Nose Girl to the movies several times and fell asleep on every occasion. I find this hard to believe since Nose Girl is one of those pushy girls who like being entertained. She won't leave you alone unless she's had a great time. Believe me though, she is very engaging and fun to be around. I love bitchin' skanky girls who play hard. You can always be sure to get something out of them. Hell, let it be anything physical. I love a good wrestle. After the movie ended, Nose Girl woke Danny up. Danny looked very Innocent and didn't say much. Then they both left the theater. That was it. Danny would not give her a kiss. It was not even on his mind. Nose Girl wanted much more than a kiss, but got nothing for the day. Danny needs to look himself in the eye once more. The next day, she came on to me with her dense, blank face expression. Danny saw us, but he was too scared to say anything. A minute later, he went out for a walk smoking tons of Cigarettes. He came back about an hour later looking sad and we were still there laughing and touching. That day, I was bored and felt like being a jerk so I decided to stick around longer. I sat around screwing with the remote control trying to catch as much porn as I could looking for some reaction. Hey I am a good friend. I was concerned at least. Danny just looked at us and went in his room saying nothing. Nose Girl and I were both disappointed. We were waiting for some kind of reaction, but that was the kind of guy he was. He had no guts and all he did was sit around sniffing. I didn't give a shit after that. I proceeded flattering Nose Girl calling her the most charming names I could think of. I told her how pretty she was and how much I wanted to get in bed with her. I made it clear. I could tell Nose Girl loved it, but she wouldn't admit it because she likes to be hard on me. She wants guys to beg and beg so she can say no and laugh at you. It's amazing what type of relationship you can build up just doing that for months. Nose Girl told me how bad she felt for Danny. She said that Danny was mentally and physically ill. I took it real lightly. I couldn't understand why she wouldn't take me right then and there. Instead she was fussing about this Danny. She looked more ready than ever with those knee high boots. Boy was she sexy. I wanted to tell her she could prove herself by turning into a play boy playmate. A few days later, Nose Girl started seeing Danny again. I was more amused than threatened. The fact that she wanted to play around with a guy like that made me laugh a whole lot during those months. All Danny could do was take girls out to family restaurants or to the movies to sleep. The reason he liked taking girls to movies was because he could sleep there. The environment was good for sleeping not that Danny wouldn't just sleep anywhere. He was really like a middle school student, taking girls to middle school dates. I remember in the summer, Nose Girl took Danny to the beach. Danny just stood there fully dressed with jeans on and everything telling her about being asthmatic and scared of the water. That did it for Nose Girl. She told me that she really hates it when Danny passes everything by with a that's okay kind of attitude. Things weren't okay. Soon, I was around Danny's place again. I knew he didn't have the balls to kick me out even though it was his house. I even ate, showered, and slept there. I stepped on his smelly cat several times on purpose and was still allowed to spend his money. This guy was tolerant or plain stupid. It would take Nose Girl to finish Me off. Once Nose Girl came to Danny in some provocative clothes. He told her not to wear those clothes in a frightened monotonous voice. He was nuts. Nose Girl was really disappointed. I could tell by the way she motioned her tight body. It was pretty sad, but I didn't mind the sight at all. I just sat undressing her with my gifted X-rated vision. I should have told Danny to appreciate this stuff. He didn't get that Nose Girl was the best he could ever do. Nothing got through him. He penetrated walls all day. I Outwardly laughed at him, but Danny stayed nonchalant. He kept his granite-like appearance. By then it was becoming more of a joke. Nose Girl and Danny got together for a while Again. Nose Girl told me some embarrassing stuff. It goes that Danny never had an urge and she lost interest in him. Now what kind of guy is he to deny Her? The girl I put on a pedestal as my top prospect of harassment. How could Nose Girl not have been the best thing in his life? I questioned for a while and ran to Nose Girl. I knew she'd had enough of that Inadequate, unappreciative Viagra bastard. I'm still puzzled about the rape thing, but I wouldn't question it any more than what it seems like. Amber and Danny both have their own problems. Amber and Nose Girl have a lot in common. They are both into guys who treat them badly. While I applaud that, I hear that there is something wrong with that. Since they're into jerks, they have a reason for being angry at Danny. He's too stupid to be a jerk. He's more of an apathetic retard. He would never raise a hand at them much less raise his voice. Maybe he's too lazy. I'd be proud of him if he did though. That would prove that he is a human being after all. He's got to be a man one of these days or else nature will alter him into a girl like Amber. Amber is a weak girl, but Danny, is he alive? Is he sleeping or is he hiding under the bed? I smell clams.

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