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The Real Disease

There are these set of values we are forced to believe. You know what I mean. We’re forced to believe things about ourselves that aren’t true; things regarding normality, abnormality, master narratives about how we’re supposed to feel, things about our intellect, who’s smart and who’s not, what kind of people are smart as opposed to the people who aren’t considered smart, what it takes to be an ‘intelligent’ person, what it takes to not be the ‘loser,’ etc. Lets put it bluntly, to say the least; these notions that we’re force fed throughout the course of our lives are false. These notions fed upon us till we die are all but a petty scheme, which in actuality, will control our very own lives till we die. Death is the reason we talk about this. Primarily because we do not want to live this one life thinking we’re mortal outcasts and that’s all we will be for the time we are due on this world. Death is the reason we must think about this, for sake of a good life and for sake of trying to live it out as best as we can. We’ve got pressures, and we do try, but this pressure only grows if we do not know how to play the indoctrinated, ‘normal,’ ‘good’ person we are enforced upon to be.

Lately this feeling of abnormality and being misplaced from the ‘status quo,’ which has been deeply engrained on us has set its toll, mentally, physically, by all means as a result, we are naturally acting upon it. Casting oneself from the world is one thing, but to beat oneself up for it is another. Once again, thinking logically, one would point out that it is wrong to place yourself away from the mainstream world of happening people and happening places. We would be conditioned to think that this behavior is wrong, abnormal, and only for the deviants or freaks. Through this, we’re surrendering ourselves, our creativity, our mental stability, and for god’s sake, we’re losing our lives, the very seconds, by this conditioned process which makes us slaves to the system, slaves to the powerful who kill the powerless and do whatever is in righteous demand in the name of retaining that power. Everyone must be like everyone else and though there are some limitations, the society, for the most part, ought to be this way because of our greed and the drive to be ‘good’ human being; attractive and sincere, funny, exceptionally cool, wise, intelligent, very rich and very white. We’ve got to be loud, we’ve got to be jerks in order to be like the rest and we’ve got to put it in your face, compete for that slot of time we’re allotted in this world.

Everyone’s life depends on these items, these so-called ‘accepted’ personalities. You could only imagine the hell this society puts people through for their incredibly trifling differences. There are those institutional discriminations which bar just about anyone who is not what they are supposed to be. We are all supposed to be the acceptable rich, white person, which hence equates to all the essential buttons, and all the correct necessities in order to be sane in the world. There is evidently far and few alternate options in between that can be as effective in retaining a person’s sanity. My insanity steps in each time I encounter the notions about who I am supposed to be. What is left is the plain fact that I am not that which I should be. Simply put, I lack much of the society’s labeled greatness attributed to a ‘successful’ person. The message that awaits tells me I am an outcast and should be stereotyped and confined to live like one. Besides, there are very few alternate means to go about this highly competitive society of false values. What is at loss, without recognition, is that these qualities that pertain to the ‘accepted’ are beyond control. These are unattainable traits that have nothing to do with the ‘downfall’ of being so called, ‘lazy,’ ‘untalented,’ and ‘unintelligent.’ In the views of America and much of this world in general, we are blamed for the things we cannot change.

These ideas of a successful person---the ‘socially acceptable,’ the one who should be displayed to the world at an exaggerated rate time and time again, the ideas of the perfect man and woman, the perfect couple and child---are depicted all through out the media, TV, movies, billboards, ads, books; they’re literally in my face about the image I should try to go out and take a shot at. We were fooled. All the absent characters, all the absent realities, and absent truths had their life as well and the more we view, read, and live through all the falsities and the fantasies, the absent characters sustain and follow. In some ways, the view becomes clearer. We were fooled because we’re still unable to read what’s missing while we’re caught up in the scheme of society’s manipulation. However, all the missing pictures unveil the ultimate truth, and hence, for myself, I can only infer truth in what is not manifested. We must listen to the voice that is not there because for many---or shall I say, most of us who feel alienated or alone---it is the only thing we can rely on. We cannot rely much more on the media as we can on the conflicting thoughts we’re left with afterwards.

Speaking of what’s left afterwards, there is a struggle, much like a conflict we run through in our minds a hundred times, each day of our lives, before we go to bed or when we’re just sitting, breathing. There are those feelings, there is numbness, anxiety, there is anger---all to the fact that we’ve been made to feel inferior and marginalized, and I’m speaking for all who’ve felt this way before. From the images we see to signs we read, we’re all fed with the same depiction of how life should be. Joyless and extremely uptight would be the feelings I get, to name a few. The conflict persists and wrestles in your mind till there is some kind of a breakdown, a realization, or some sort of self doubt. We’ve all has insecurities, but a dwelling persists because it effects the social structure of which we are all bound upon. It does not discriminate on who it effects, because ultimately it is everyone’s business, cause, struggle, and drama. These ‘problems,’ these ‘illnesses,’ come from the true disease of the world itself, and that is the fatal disease of the institution. It has been crafted and molded, it has been handled, it has been seen, it has been enforced, it has been the guideline of our lives, the thing that drives us to get up in the morning, the thing we learn as children, and we eventually are taken ill from it.

For those who are societally labeled as devious, ill, mental, schizo, loser, unsuccessful, or simply not quite fitting the mold, it is hard to get out of that label and to be taken as a rather ‘decent,’ though more or less a ‘different’ human being, differing from the crowd at large by minor standards. These names that blame-the-victim evades from the real truth. By hiding from the root of the problem and not taking the big picture, we torture our fleeting lives and change nothing. This is how the deeply rooted institution has ripped us off. As a result, everyone is a victim. Whether they’d like to admit it or not, we are placed in a world where it depends on cause and effect, top and bottom. Thus, for those who are labeled, it is a constant struggle towards something that cannot be accomplished. It is a struggle to evade from the true self. These master notions of who we should be, mask the fact that we can be completely sufficient being who we are. We should not have to fight ourselves because the true enemy is society, which has been built for generations and generations. We must force ourselves to see the bigger picture, and quit blaming trivial differences of the individual.

-STUPOR

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