The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Alamo"
Quotes from "How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Alamo"
MRS. ASHMORE: We are now finished with the American history portion of our class. So today we begin our unit on Texas history.
NANCY (reading her mail): Listen to this: "Because of your inaccurate forecasts, my wedding was ruined, you ass."
PEGGY: That is Flat Stanley. Teachers have their students send him to faraway places. Then you take a picture of him, send it back, and the kids learn about geography.
HANK: I defy anyone to sit through that class without becoming a man of courage and conviction.
PEGGY: This is the perfect place to take a picture of Flat Stanley. More frozen poultry passes through this loading dock than any other in Heimlich County. It is like the Ellis Island for dead chickens.
PEGGY: I will call this one "Look Both Ways Before Dying."
(From Bobby's Texas history textbook):
PEGGY: Firearm safety is one of the most important issues facing our children today.
MS. KENT: The fact is, some things just have to go. Our lawyers are very concerned about the weight of books.
HANK: L.B.J. would make a great movie. And in this textbook, all they've got is a picture of him lifting his dog by the ears. And that's for a unit on "Active Seniors."
HANK: What kind of pie says "heroism?"
PEGGY: Just try and do some extra credit. I have students hold doors for me.
BOBBY: Re-enactment? Hey, that could be my extra credit. Can I be in it?
BOOMHAUER: Yeah, man, you can count me in, man, I'll bring my dang ol' Bowie knife, talkin' 'bout "Victory or death."
JIM BOWIE: Don't go lookin' for your opium, Davey. Travis smoked it all up.
BRUCE: How do you know that when the pressures became too great, William B. Travis didn't try to find comfort and safety in a frilly calico dress?
SHARLA: If Bruce is ever going to get recognized by the people that matter, he needs to show them he's got a new perspective.
DALE: Damn revisionists. Why don't they ever make history better? Where we live in Antarctica and worship the Golden Penguin? That would be great.
DALE: This'll shut Tuttle up. They're trapped inside there, just like the Alamo volunteers. And we're out here, ready to take care of business, like General Santa Ana! (beat) It's not like we're actually killing people. Just ideas.
BILL: I feel the fun slowing down.
DAVEY CROCKETT: If this siege continues, I may have to surrender sober.
HANK: It's called Six Flags over Texas because Texas was governed by six sovereign nations. There's Texas, America, Mexico, France... I don't know how France got in there...