"I cannot allow you to leave the safety of the bowl."

The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "King of the Ant Hill"

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Quotes from "King of the Ant Hill"
Written by Johnny Hardwick & Paul Lieberstein
Directed by Gary McCarver

HANK: Damn, I've poured my whole life into this lawn. My heart, my soul, the tender feelings I've held back from my family.

PEGGY: Bethany, it does not matter if your avocaydoes are hard. Life is hard. You cannot make authentic guaycamowl out of lima beans and Ritz crackers. (hangs up) Oh, these people! Gringos!
LUANNE: I'm just glad you're in charge of the block party this year, Aunt Peggy. Last year it was all Tex and no Mex.

PEGGY: Would you please tell Boomhauer that Swiss cheese is not Mehican, it is American.

DALE: Wingo, man!

DALE (on the Queen Ant): She can lay a million eggs in a twenty-four hour period.
BILL: Wow. That's more than a human woman does in a lifetime.
DALE: These fire ants are well-organized, highly trained insects. They'll swarm all over you and sting you all at once without warning on a single command. It's how they killed L. Ron Hubbard.

DALE: I see what's going on here -- you've got another exterminator. Is he licensed? Is he bonded? Is that it, Hank? Do you want someone who's licensed and bonded?

PEGGY: Why are men so attracted to hoes?

HANK: Without my lawn, I am Bill. Do you want to be married to Bill?
PEGGY (shudders): No.

KAHN: Hank Hill, someone steal my TV Guide out of mailbox. First I think it Bill. But then I think, can Bill read?

PEGGY: It's called Eco-Kill, Hank. The government would not let them use the term "eco" unless it was ecologically safe.

HANK: This is exactly what those environmentalists should be spending their time on: Finding ways to use nature against other forms of nature that are inconvenient to man.

BOBBY: Hey, look at that chubby white one. It reminds me of me before my growth spurt.
JOSEPH: That's the Queen, stupid. It looks just like the one on my dad's truck.
BOBBY: You mean Dale Gribble's truck?
JOSEPH: Yeah, my dad.

HANK: Okay, ants, put your heads between your six legs and kiss your butt goodbye!

DOOLEY: You've got ants.

BOOMHAUER: Ashes to ashes, man, dang ol' ashes to ashes.
DALE: I only used as much poison as necessary and not a 55-gallon drum more.
BILL: Poor Hank. Serves him right.
KAHN: Yeah, it does. You know, where I come from, we got a thing called kharma. You do something bad, it come back and bite you in the ass. Big white stubborn ass!

LUANNE: Aunt Peggy, Buckley wants to bring his .38 to shoot off at the block party, but Uncle Hank said nothing bigger than a .22.

BOBBY: Feed, my Queen, feed.

NANCY: Oh, sugar. We're out of sugar, sug.

PEGGY: How could you do it? How could you plant fire ants on our lawn?
DALE: Uh, I'm denying that. That's my position.
PEGGY: Dale, you wrote it on this map: "Three a.m., planted ants."
DALE: If all you're going on is my confession, forget it. I'm simply not credible.

HANK: You sacrificed your life to save my son. I guess that makes us even for you ruining my lawn.

DALE: While I was blacked out, was anything inserted into me?
HANK: You're alive!
DALE: Answer the question.

BILL: I've been saving this for someone special. But I guess she's never coming back.

BOOMHAUER: Yee-ha, ol' Hank, everybody's friend, richest man in the world, just like that old Jimmy...yo.

HANK: I especially want to thank Dale Gribble. Without his paranoid and, well, hateful nature, I never would have learned what kind of beating a friendship can survive. You're my best friend, Dale.
BILL: I thought I was your best friend, Hank.
HANK: Heh, heh, heh. Yeah, well... Heh.


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