The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "Hank's Bad Hair Day"
Quotes from "Hank's Bad Hair Day"
JACK: So what'll it be? The Roger Staubach or the Rookie Roger Staubach?
BILL: Hey, Hank, what'd you do to your hair?
YOUNG HANK (getting a haircut from Cotton): I think you cut my ear.
JACK: I'm going out of business. I can't deal with the jackasses any more. You were one of the good ones, Hank. But your son's a jackass.
BILL: Hank, I never cut civilian hair, but I've been looking at your head a long time.
LIEUTENANT: I wish this bill were a mistake, Mr. Hill, but that is how much it costs the Army to give someone a haircut. We spend $80,000 for each military-grade barber chair. The French make a barber chair that costs $110,000. It's a damn good chair, but I'm not gonna spend $110,000 for a barber chair.
DALE: Even Bill Clinton only spends $300 on his haircuts, and for that he gets the haircut plus a high-colonic administered by Barbra Streisand.
BILL: Hank, you can't fight the Army without declaring war.
HANK (reading the reply from his Congressman): "Representative Jim Powell thinks your problem and flag-burning are among the biggest problems facing America today. That's why Jim Powell has introduced House Resolution number 11461. It would ban flag-burning in all..." Aw, he never even read it. I'd go see him in person, but no self-respecting bus company would let me on with hair like this.
HANK: Oh, God, I need a hair net!
BILL: I hear they're wearing it short in Guantanamo this summer. It's the Ricky Martin influence.
CAPTAIN: This base is disbanding the barber unit. They think we're inefficient. A petition to reinstate has been filed, but that could take twenty years.
DALE: You eliminated Bill! Bill-iminator!
HANK: I'm out of the Strickland Propane Christmas card.
CAPTAIN: Okay, who here knows how to cut hair?
CAPTAIN: Dauterive, your records have been doctored to show you as a master electrician with a security clearance for pinball repair. But your actual mission is to stand at this privately-donated chair -- which does not exist, do you understand me? -- and do the only thing you're good at.