The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "The Bluegrass is Always Greener"
Quotes from "The Bluegrass is Always Greener"
HANK: Please, Lord, give her a cramp. If it's thy will.
BILL: I want to hear "Puff the Magic Dragon." Play that song, I like it, play it. "Puff the magic dragon..."
CONNIE: My dad has a joke: "How do you get into the Van Cliburn Summer Orchestra? Practice!" Well, it used to be a joke. Now he just screams it.
BILL: Who's Van Cliburn?
PEGGY: The strange thing is, people with that much talent rarely amount to anything.
BOOMHAUER: Hey, man, I'll go get my dang ol' banjo, man... maybe get an accordion, man, what do you think?... No, better stick with the banjo, man.
EARL: You ever think about taking her to Branson?
DALE: We could be your backup band. "The Dale Gribble Bluegrass Experience."
KAHN: That inbred music is designed so only people with six fingers can play it! Your path is Van Cliburn to Carnegie Hall to New York Philharmonic, not hay wagon to Hee Haw!
BOBBY: The key to writing a good Yakov Smirnoff joke is to picture yourself arriving in America and noticing that it is different from Russia.
BOBBY: In America, you put "In God We Trust" on your money. In Russia, we have no money!
HANK: Yes, we're here to have fun, but you know what's not fun? Being ill-prepared.
YAKOV SMIRNOFF: Hey, kid, I don't do Russian jokes for last ten years. Now I do jokes about relationships and things I observe.
HANK: Where have you been? I've had to deal with the Bluegrass Brothers all by myself. They've been staring at me, twiddling their beards, trying to psych me out.
CONNIE: No! No more rosin, no more of your "see the fiddle, be the fiddle" rhetoric. I don't want to be a professional bluegrass musician. I quit.
DALE: Well, I saw that coming. And yet I did nothing to stop it. Why do I fear success?
HANK: Boomhauer, you're good at stage patter.
KAHN: You kidnap my daughter and took her across state lines to play hillbilly music against her will! I've been looking for a reason to put you in jail, and now I have it!
CHARLIE DANIELS: So where's this dying fiddle player whose final wish was to meet me?
CONNIE: We only have enough money for a t-shirt or a row of tickets at the Andy Williams show.
KAHN: She's playing in street for lousy tourists! She should be playing in Royal Albert Hall for Prince Charles and Camilla Parker-Bowles!