The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "Arlen City Bomber"
Click here to return to the Main Quotes Page
Quotes from "Arlen City Bomber"
Written by Jonathan Collier
Directed by Kyounghee Lim
LUCKY: If I'd never gotten an advance on my credit card, I never would've gone to the Costco to buy a 78-inch TV, never would've slipped in pee-pee, never would've got my settlement money. Scary to think about the road not travelled, huh?
PEGGY: I will take care of it, Hank. Luanne scares easily. That plays into my strengths.
BOBBY: What are you doing?
LUANNE: I have to get another job 'cause Aunt Peggy says I have to be more responsible.
BOBBY: Mom's into responsibility now too?!
LUANNE: Plumber... nurse's aide... all these jobs are racist against people who don't have skills.
BOBBY: Hey, how about this one? "Night work available for outgoing attractive girls who like to make big dollars and have a good time."
LUANNE: That's me!
DALE: Credit cards are a last resort after cash, check, plasma, urine, and alien urine. Sure, there's bone marrow, but that is more prudently used as a retirement vehicle, or so says Lou Dobbs.
PEGGY: Do you have size 16 skates?
LANE PRATLEY: Lots of 'em.
HANK: Luanne?! Peggy?!
PEGGY: Not Luanne and Peggy. Gold-Dust and The Executionater.
PEGGY: By putting on these skates, I am putting Luanne on solid footing. After playing the Maulers next week, she'll have enough to pay down her credit card debt. After taking on the Destroyers, she will catch up on her car payments. And after beating the tar out of those Poisonettes, she will make a deposit into an interest-bearing account.
HANK: You just want to smash into people, don't you?
BILL (watching Gretta): That woman is perfect. She's beautiful and could be a father figure.
LUCKY: See, your blockers stop the other team's jammers. The pivots can block, jam, or counter-jam. Only the pivot or jammer can score.
HANK: But how do they score?
LUCKY: No one really knows.
LUANNE: This is the smallest check for $500 that I have ever gotten.
HANK: Shall we celebrate now and buy a piece of patio furniture, or wait and get the whole grouping at the end of the month?
PEGGY: I say we delay gratification.
HANK: Well, I do like delaying gratification.
PEGGY: It all seemed so easy in my head. Everybody would be everybody else's boss. How could that not have worked?
PEGGY: Hank, I've gotta go fix everything.
HANK: Now, that's what you said before you bought a roller derby team.
PEGGY: That was false bravado. This is real bravado, Hank.
LUCKY: So here's my plan: I climb this fence and get you a chip.
BOBBY: That's your plan? It took you two days to think of that?
LUCKY: I had to cover all the angles.
PEGGY: Okay, we can do this. It's only one hour, three times a week, indefinitely. It's just like riding a bicycle that you hate.
Click here to return to the Main Quotes Page <