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The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "Boxing Luanne"

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Quotes from "Boxing Luanne"
Written by Dean Young
Directed by Mike DiMartino

LUANNE: I closed my eyes and I was thinking of those stupid guys in my math class... oh, and the guy in the parking lot... and that volunteer pool cleaner who always comes by when I'm swimming.
ANGELA: Tell me about it. I once fell for a free breast examination in a bar.

BOBBY (watching a movie): Why don't the nerds just move across town instead of living right next door to the jock fraternity? That way, nobody'll be constantly breaking their gadgets.

HANK (after Luanne explains Tae-Bo): Oh, it's dancing.
BOBBY: Hmm. That sounds --
HANK: No.

MR. STRICKLAND (talking about the health club): I know a new girlie club where we can ogle some ladies. No cover charge!

LUANNE: If you were lookin' at me, I'm going to have to have both of your gym memberships revoked. And I would hate to do that, because you both look terrible.

LUANNE: My mama's in prison 'cause she fights so much. Do you think that there's some way her genes could have been passed down to me?

HANK: Luanne, the kind of women that box don't have 50 stuffed animals on their bed. Why don't you spend Friday night watching one of those movies you like, where the people fall in love and then one of them dies?

LUANNE: Dear Lord, one of your creatures may be hurt tonight. Please let it be the other creature. Amen.

RANDY STRICKLAND: Okay, folks, you've paid your moneys, here come the honeys!

BILL: Women boxing, huh? If they wear gloves, how do they scratch each other?

HANK: I always hoped to give my old boxing gloves from the "Y" to Bobby, but...well, you know.

MR. STRICKLAND: Gettin' rich off a pretty lady is even better than sleepin' with one. Well...neck and neck.

HANK: You need to practice, so get out of that stupid outfit. And for God's sake, don't leave it where Bobby can find it!

GEORGE FOREMAN: I respect that you want to protect your niece. You know, I didn't want my daughter to become a boxer. Neither did Mohammad. But Joe Frazier, on the other hand, he had his baby girl boxing in the crib.

GEORGE FOREMAN: How about carrying my grill in your shop?
HANK: Oh, sorry, but we have a strict policy about that. No novelty grills.
GEORGE FOREMAN: NOVELTY GRILLS?
HANK: Yeah. No offence, but your grill is kinda like an iron.
GEORGE FOREMAN: You're callin' my grill an iron? I've been hit below the belt before, but nothing like this!
HANK: I think it's a great product for dieters, or little girls who want to play barbecue, but you can't compare it to a propane-powered grill.
GEORGE FOREMAN: FIGHT'S ON!
HANK: What? No!
GEORGE FOREMAN: I said, fight's on! What's the matter, smellin' all that propane cause you brain damage? That's what it does, you know!
HANK: No! That is not accurate! Those studies were all done on sick monkeys! And at least my grill isn't sold in housewares!

GEORGE FOREMAN: George III, get this man out of my face!

LUANNE: But I'm a great boxer! That's why the fans are always yelling, and hollering, and throwing dollar bills, and oh God, am I stupid.

LUANNE: Nope. That's cheatin'. And I got too much self-respect for that, even if every guy in the world thinks I'm a bimbo.
BOBBY: Guys suck!

ANGELA: Men are never going to respect us. That's why we've got to use what God or the surgeon gave us to get what they got: Money.
LUANNE: So you'd do anything for money?
ANGELA: Or a car.

PEGGY: She is not gonna show tonight. She asked herself, what would Jesus do if he were a lady boxer? The answer: Not show.

GEORGE FOREMAN: If I could take a punch like that, I might have been able to think up a name besides George for all my sons. That gal's all skull and no brains. She's like Joe Frazier with lipstick.

LUANNE: Stu, what did I tell you about taking pictures of me?
STU: Whoa, no -- I wanted a picture with you.


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