"There's no mascot we can't torture."

The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "Cheer Factor"

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Quotes from "Cheer Factor"
Written by Christy Stratton
Directed by Kyounghee Lim & Boohwan Lim

ANNOUNCER: And Joseph Gribble is sacked for another loss.
DALE: Common name. No relation.

ANNOUNCER: And that's the ballgame. The Longhorns lose their fourth straight. Principal Moss -- who drives a black Altima usually parked in front of the school -- thanks you for attending.

PEGGY (looking through her old yearbook): I really did stay sweet.

JO RITA: The cheerleading squad doesn't get trophies for how good the football team does. We get them for motion and dance, basket tosses, jumps and attitude.

CONNIE: Your mom's a cheerleader?
BOBBY: Wow, I thought that was just more of her big talk. Maybe she really did see Dan Rather at the mall.

CONNIE: It's amazing! I put on this outfit and it's like I'm -- what's the opposite of invisible? I've never had to know.

JO RITA: The last thing our cheerleaders need is to be distracted by the game.

PRINCIPAL MOSS: Sorry I'm late. It took longer than I thought to wipe the eggs off my car.
DALE: Sorry I'm late. It took longer than I thought to egg Moss's car.

PRINCIPAL MOSS: I can't have bored students at an assembly. It's just asking for trouble. I'm gonna cue the band.
PEGGY: Oh, no! No! Not the band!

PEGGY: I have learned something today: people like violence. From now on, we will demoralize the other team by systematically mock-xicuting their mascots.

CHEERLEADERS:
Hi there, hi there, we won't gloat,
We'll stab the Cougar in the throat!
And when at last the Cougar's dead,
We'll make him see red, red, red, red!

TEACHER: No hats in the lunchroom, Dooley. Take it off.
DOOLEY: I'll die in these horns.

PEGGY: Ladies, we have a problem. Knife play is just not enough anymore. Ideas? Yellow jacket, go!
CONNIE: We could rip open its thorax and stuff it with its own abdomen.
PEGGY: Bobby, how's your death rattle?
BOBBY: (does a death rattle)
PEGGY: Great! Now, who do we play after that?
MERILYNN: The Boswell Bears.
PEGGY: Okay. Now, how do you make a bear suffer?
CONNIE: Tie it up and torture its young!
PEGGY: There's no mascot we can't torture.

PEGGY: Jo Rita, who's next?
JO RITA: The Tornadoes. How are you gonna kill a tornado?
PEGGY: Shoot it.

PAT: ...And after the game, somebody called me "Pat" in the parking lot. It is my name, but he had no way of knowing that!

PEGGY: You were all behind me when it was the Cougars and the Bears and the Mudhawks! It would have been disrespectful of me not to bludgeon the Irishmen!

PRINCIPAL MOSS: You can keep on teaching Spanish, but we have to keep an eye on you in case you decide to go after them too.

EMILY: Sorry, Mrs. Hill, Principal Moss gave me strict orders not to let you into the game.
HANK: What? That's ridiculous!
EMILY: Stay out of this, sir. Our beef's not with you.

JO RITA: Connie, get down here or you can say goodbye to the uniform and a guaranteed seven candid photos in the school yearbook!


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