"You big fat muscle-headed load of rat jackal pig dog waste!"

The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "New Cowboy on the Block"

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Quotes from "New Cowboy on the Block"
Written by Dean Young
Directed by Cyndi Tang-Loveland

KAHN: Hey, Country Bear Jamboree! My grandma send me birthday check, but it not in my mailbox. Which one of you take it?
HANK: Why would we steal your check?
KAHN: How should I know? Maybe your wife needs new pitchfork! (he leaves)
DALE: I hope the new neighbor isn't another Kahn. His cracks about Peggy are funny, but apart from that, he's completely useless.

BIG WILLIE: Hey, Hank, there's a Cowboys game on later, if you want to come over. And you can bring the guys -- they seem pretty cool.
HANK: See, Peggy? I told you the guys were cool.

BIG WILLIE: Hey, you guys wanna see some stuff from my career? Hank, you've seen this. It's the football from that kick I blocked. Oh, and here's a picture from that kick I blocked.
HANK: Hey, Willie, here's something you might remember. (Hank hands Willie a card)
BIG WILLIE: Well, well, who's that handsome stud?
DALE: That's you, before the weight gain.

KAHN: One good thing about other hillbillies, at least they all pass out by nine o'clock. This guy needs to shut up or get stronger moonshine.

BIG WILLIE: Rock on!
KAHN: Yes, hello, rock on.

PEGGY: Did you move back the curfew in your block charter? Because that would be very sexy.
HANK: Well, sorry to be a tease, but this is a one-time-only exemption.

DALE: I cannot believe you met Roger Staubach's pool cleaner.
HANK: Yep. We played foozeball. He's a great guy. Just a regular guy, I tell you what.

HANK: My son is getting a clinic from a Dallas Cowboy. I've always said you had a lot of untapped bulk.
BOBBY: I'm gonna do a push-up!

BIG WILLIE: ...and that's how I blocked that kick.
HANK: That story gets better every time you tell it.

PEGGY: Hank, how much longer are you going to stare at that big pile of dog droppings?
HANK: Not much longer. It's only been a couple of hours.

BIG WILLIE: You know, I used to think you were cool.
HANK: I can be very cool when someone follows our neighborhood guidelines.

BOBBY: You know, for a guy who was a pro athlete, Willie's drunk a lot.

HANK: Kahn, I'm sorry I didn't believe you. No man should have to live to see this done to his lawn. So I was thinking we could work together to get rid of Willie.
KAHN: I talk to my father-in-law last night. He knows a guy who will do it for $5000.
HANK: Kahn, I'll only operate within the confines of State law and the block charter.
KAHN: You sure about this? 'Cause maybe we can get hit man to throw in Gribble as freebie.

DALE: Over Bill's mutilated and lacerated body, you will! Lay down in front of the mower, Bill.
BILL: Okay.

HANK: What happened to you guys? Bill, don't you remember when this was the kind of neighborhood where you could leave your door unlocked and not have someone steal your refrigerator?
BILL: I've been keeping my food in the tub.
HANK: And Dale, you believed in the block charter so strongly, you signed it with your real name.
DALE: It's the only time I've ever done that.
HANK: Gentlemen, it is a new morning on Rainey Street.

HANK: Why would I tip a car over on my own lawn?
OFFICER BROWN: I don't know. It puzzles me.

KAHN: You big fat muscle-headed load of rat jackal pig dog waste!
BIG WILLIE: You just call me a pig?
KAHN: Oh, you don't like that? Well, I don't care anymore. I don't sleep. My career is going in the toilet. My little girl can't study. And all because some fat jock slob play a little football and "block a kick." I don't even know what it means, to block a kick, but if you can do it, then any idiot can do it!

DALE: Squirrel tactics!!

BIG WILLIE: Willie can't afford another assault charge, partner. That'd be totally uncool.

HANK: Yep.
DALE: Yep.
BILL: Yep.
BOOMHAUER: M-hm.
KAHN: In my experience, a lot of people say they gonna hit you, but not many actually do it.


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