The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "Jumpin' Crack Bass"
Quotes from "Jumpin' Crack Bass (It's a Gas, Gas, Gas)"
HANK: We don't fish for the fish. Ninety percent of what I like about this sport -- and it is a sport -- is sitting in the boat doing nothing. And the icing on the cake is when God smiles on you and you hook one. And then when you're reeling it in, everything else falls away. You don't think about taxes or traffic or that pushy gal that's trying to get into the Citadel or who's going to take care of you when your mother and I are old and incapacitated. All there is is a man, a rod, a lake and a fish. And it all starts with a hand-dug American worm.
JUDGE: Billy Ray Walters, you've entered a plea of guilty. Have your rights been explained to you?
PEGGY: Honey, calm down. If you have a stroke, who will help me take care of Bobby?
LUANNE: Sometimes I get stressed out in the beauty school -- you know, with all the combing and politics. And I just do yoga. I can put my feet up behind my head. Want me to show you?
DALE: You and your worms are fishing in the past, Hank, in the days of black-and-white television and a democratically elected Congress.
RAY: You ever hear of a guy named Jack?
HANK: Are you Jack?
BILL: I like beer, Hank. Don't you like beer? I mean, I love beer.
BOOMHAUER: Man, that's quick, man, talkin' 'bout Hank's the man, man, dang ol' fishin' magician, man.
HANK: Well, now, this is the dangdest thing. This is the same fish I just threw back.
DALE: Don't lie to us, friend, 'cause when you lie, you make an ass out of you and me.
BOBBY: Can I have some more butter for my pancakes?
HANK: Come on, take the bait, you know you want it.
HANK: Dale, what are you doing here?
LAWYER: Mr. Hill, this bass-fishing defence isn't going to cut it. Hmm. Were you abused as a child?
DALE: I do not recognize the authority of a court that hangs the gold-fringed flag. A flag with gilded edges is the flag of an admirality court. An admirality court signifies a naval court-martial. I cannot be court-martialled twice. That is all.
BOBBY: Objection, your honor! My dad doesn't use drugs. The only thing he needs to be happy is fishing. Sustained.
JUDGE: Gribble, this fish is frozen.
DALE: Don't do it, Hank. He's already caught us cheating once. He'll double our sentence.