The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "Night and Deity"
Quotes from "Night and Deity"
PEGGY: Welcome to the Audobon Society's forty-third and Peggy Hill's first annual backyard bird-count!
DALE: Gribble Team ready! I'm assuming you'll want the heads for identification purposes?
DALE: These birds don't stand a chance against this ultrasonic bird distress emitter. (evil laugh) I was up all night listening to sounds that'll drive you crazy.
DALE: I can't get inside these pigeons' heads! Bill, you're a filthy blocking animal -- would this scare you?
DALE: The pest-control world isn't your happy fuzzy propane Candyland where you can just "call" people. To get the baddest of the baddest-ass, promises must be exchanged, payola paid, reputations put on the line.
PEGGY: Oh, I will make your birthday party so much fun. And I can be there to gently remind you that as the daughter of an alcoholic, you have a genetic gun pointed at your head, and with every drink you are adding another bullet to the chamber.
SHEILA: This is one impressive infestation. Was this neighborhood built on a landfill?
SHEILA: Whoa, that's some kind of spray-wand you got there. Bet you could blast one hell of a gopher with that thing.
SHEILA: Dale, honey, would you mind grabbing a cocking gun and helping me out?
NANCY: Wouldn't that be poetic justice? I come back to Dale and he runs off with another woman?
DALE: Nancy, I was just telling Bill and Boomhauer that Sheila's can and your can share some striking similarities. Show 'em your can, Nancy.
PEGGY: Maybe you need to be more involved in Dale's life. You know, be a bigger part of his world.
LUANNE (in the alley): Yep. M-hm.
NANCY (exterminating with Dale): THIS IS WHAT YOU DO???
JOHN REDCORN: I'm sure Nancy told you about the time I cured four of her migranes in one night?
HANK: What am I supposed to wear to Luanne's birthday party? I need something that says "I am not some weird old guy in the bar, I am here against my will."
JOHN REDCORN: Nancy, I feel I should warn you -- man, this is an awkward call -- I think this woman is interested in Dale. You shouldn't let him go out tonight.
BOUNCER: What's up, Hefner?
CHEESY GUY: Hey, what's your name, Beautiful?
BOOMHAUER: Man, I tell you what, man, that dang ol' pigeon's freakin' out.
NANCY: Dale, you cannot go! You just tell your little friend to go on home!
BILL (to the pigeon): Maintain, maintain...
HANK: I just fell down, and you know why? I'm drunk.
DALE: This is so great. For the first time, I feel like I'm really detecting rat urine.
DALE: I've taken two oaths in my life: One to the NRA, and the other to Nancy Hicks Gribble, nee Nancy Hicks. I stood in front of God and all my friends, vowing to be an honorable and truthful man. So I'm not gonna lie to you, I have felt a small, insect-like attraction for you. But my wife is the greatest woman there ever was!
DALE: Did you know Sheila was trying to come on to me?