"Damn teenagers!"

The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "I Don't Want To Wait For Our Lives To Be Over, I Want To Know Right Now, Will It Be... Sorry. Do Do Doo Do Do, Do Do Doo Do Do, Do Do Doo Do Do, Doo..."

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Quotes from "I Don't Want to Wait..."
Written by Paul Lieberstein
Directed by Adam Kuhlman

GARRY: In my religion, thirteen is your official passage into manhood. We call it a "bar-mitzvah," or "big party."
BOBBY: Is that an Arizona thing?
GARRY: Arizona, New York, Miami... I got so many fancy pen-and-pencil sets I was giving them away for years.
BOBBY: Pen-and-pencil set? That is very manly! Can I get a bar-mitzvah? I'm willing to celebrate Hanukkah.
GARRY: Trust me, it's more work than you're gonna want to put in. I'll tell you what, tomorrow you spend the day with me, and I'll show you how a man enjoys Arizona. By the time you leave here, you'll have hair on your kishkes!

PEGGY: If you try to stick the late Peggy Hill in an inferior casket, she will come back to haunt you. I will see to that.

WAITRESS: Hi, I'm Jennifer. How is everyone tonight?
DALE: Jennifer, we're fantastic!

CONNIE: You know, Bobby, there are some days of the month I don't like to ride a bike either.
BOBBY: You mean because you got your period?
CONNIE: I chose not to use that word.
BOBBY: Why? It's a natural, beautiful thing.
CONNIE: You don't understand. You're not there yet.
BOBBY: You better check the map, honey, because I am living in downtown there!

JOSEPH: I can't dance.
BOBBY: Compared to me, no.
JOSEPH: I got stretch marks on my shoulders and zits on my back. I can't even ride my own bike any more. And a million times a day, my dad asks me "How's the weather up there?"
BOBBY: Tell him it's fair to partly stupid.
JOSEPH: Oh, man, you always know just what to say. That's why you have a girlfriend.
BOBBY: Yeah, I do, don't I?
JOSEPH: I want a girl too! I just can't stop thinking about 'em! I can't get girls out of my head! Just -- just get out!

BILL: I didn't know you sewed, Hank.
DALE: Sew-er!
HANK: I am not sewing. I am upholstering, which is one of the five original industrial arts.
DALE: Whatever you say, Aunt Bee. Hey, while you're at it, maybe you can quilt one of them coffins for me. It's only a matter of time before Joseph's hormonal rage forces him to kill me in my sleep and marry my mother.

PEGGY (lying in her coffin): Oh, Hank, it's like sleeping on a marshmallow.

DOOLEY: Joseph likes to watch.

CONNIE: If it's Bobby, slam the door in his face.
KAHN: Oh, I wish it was, so I could, but it just Jolly Gribble Giant.

MINH: How did tall, dark and handsome get butt kicked by short, fat and redneck?

PEGGY: You think I should get out of my coffin and see what's going on?
HANK: Over my dead body.

CONNIE: I came to apologize and make out with tongues.
BOBBY: I don't know where your tongue's been. Oh, wait, yes I do!
CONNIE: I didn't mean to kiss Joseph. It was just that he was so sad, and tall.
BOBBY: And you're so loose, and cheap!

CONNIE: Where are you going?
JOSEPH: I'm going as far as an eighth of a tank of gas will take me.
CONNIE: Take me with you!

DALE: My Bug-a-bago! What evil hath been wrought to befall this upon me?

HANK: Bobby, did you see who did this?
BOBBY: Uh... it was probably teenagers.
JOSEPH: Yep. Teenagers.
CONNIE: Teenagers.
DALE: Damn teenagers!

PEGGY: Yes! Yes! Thirteen for thirteen! Uh, huh! In your face, boy-ee! Uh-huh!
Hey, Bobby, it's your birthday, ch-ch-ch-ch ch-ch-ch-ch,
That's right, I served you cake, uh-huh,
I'm Peggy, pull your leg-y,
Oh, Bobby, let's go!
Say what? That's right!
I'm all that, I'm Peggy,
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, get funky!


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