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Quotes from "A-Firefighting We Will Go"
Written by Alan Cohen & Alan Freedland
Directed by Cyndi Tang-Loveland

BOOMHAUER: Hey, talkin' 'bout firemen, man? Talkin' 'bout "Rampart 3-1, Rampart 3-1", dang ol' Emergency!, man... have all those shows on tape, I love that, yo.

BOBBY: Ooh, spoons! Can I assume the potatoes will be mashed tonight?

HANK: Luanne can't be a fireman. What if a very large man was trapped in a burning building and she had to carry him out?
PEGGY: Then she would do a fireperson's carry, formerly known as a fireman's carry.
BOBBY: What's that?
PEGGY: It allows a woman to life a man's weight, through a scientific principle that I like to call "leverage."

DALE: Hank's a lumberjack and he's OK...

BOBBY: Maybe it has something to do with when you hurt your groin picking me up.
PEGGY: Well, honey, I do not think that could be true, since ladies do not have groins.

BOBBY: I told you my dad was a fireman.
DOOLEY: He's a volunteer.

COP: So you were the ones who busted that hydrant. We got an anonymous tip it was a bunch of kids.
DALE: "Bunch of kids?" I gave you names! Hill, Bobby. Gribble, Joseph.

DALE: My name is Shackelford, Rusty Shackelford. I refuse to speak without my attorney present. (stands, takes off his hat) I am Mr. Shackelford's attorney, Rusty Shackelford. My client pleads insanity.
BILL: My name is Dauterive comma Bill. I am also insane.

DALE: You pushed me aside and made me look like an idiot in front of my own flesh and blood.

DALE (singing): B-A- Bay, B-E Be, B-I- Bicky Bi B-O Bo, Bicky Bi Bo!

LUANNE: Why don't you just admit to him that you hurt yourself picking up Bobby?
PEGGY: Oh, honey, you have never been married.

BILL: My face hurts.
HANK: And it'll match your ass when I'm done kicking it!

(Boomhauer's memory)
DALE: Yeah, man, I tell you what, man, dang ol' detector, man, government take away freedom of smoke, talkin' 'bout yo, man.
HANK: Yeah, man, I tell you what, man, dang ol' boy ain't right, man, talkin' 'bout kick your ass, man.
BOOMHAUER: For God's sake, Hank, act like an adult. And keep it down, guys, will you? I am trying to get through an article on vintage Camaros, and I've been on the same dang page for twenty minutes.
BILL: Dang ol' pretty pretty pizza, man, I tell you what.

BOOMHAUER: Man, don't go draggin' ol' Chet's name through the mud, man... tell you what, Dale's the one that did it... y'all leave Chet alone, man.
COP: So each and every one of you believes that Chet Elderson started that fire?

BILL: I hear Mrs. Throckmorton's looking to hire four plumbers.
HANK: No.
BILL: It's all the beer we can drink.
HANK (after a beat): Okay, I could use a beer.
BOOMHAUER: M-hm.
DALE: Yep.
BILL: Yep.
(They exit to the tune of "Three Blind Mice.")

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