"What a freak."

The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "The Fat and the Furious"

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Quotes from "The Fat and the Furious"
Written by Alex Gregory & Peter Huyck
Directed by Allan Jacobsen

BILL: There's this movie I'm dying to see. This one's got a Culkin and a Baldwin in it!

HANK: It's nice for Bill to finally have something he's good at. Might give him a reason to live and whatnot.

PEGGY: I finally got a woman to agree to go out with him.
HANK: You're kidding! Who?
PEGGY: Sunny Edmonds, the new librarian.
HANK: The perky one?
PEGGY: No, the one who won't make change.
HANK: Did you try the perky one?
PEGGY: Yes I did, and it took the perk right out of her.

HANK: You might want to find out what's causing that god-awful smell in your car.
BILL: That was a frog. I guess I'll get rid of it.

SUNNY: You promised me a fat George Clooney. This is not a fat George Clooney!

CYNDI: I like the way you eat soup.
BILL: Are you making fun of me? If you are, it's okay -- I'd just like to know.

BILL: I never say no to a party in McMaynerbury.

CYNDI: You know, Bill, the last big American to win the Mustard Yellow Belt was Steve Kiner in '99. Since then, all the hot dog eating competitions have been won by skinny Japanese guys. But I still believe in the big man.
HANK: Wait a minute, America isn't the hot dog champion? How could you let that happen? This whole nation is stuffing its face! Can't one of us do it at record speed?

HANK: Are you an eater?
IRRAWADDY: Yes, Laotian noodle champion. I'm branching out into hot dogs.
HANK: No kidding? My neighbor's Laotian. You know a guy named Kahn?

BILL: I think your Mustard Yellow Belt is going to look pretty good around my fat American gut.

HANK: Dangit, Dale, when did you get to be such a Negative Nelly? Why don't you try being a Positive Pete?

KAHN: Guess you never heard of "belt of fat" theory.
BILL: Belt of fat?
KAHN: That's why fat guys can't keep up with us skinny Asians. Your stomachs are trapped in belt of fat. Got no room to stretch. Irrawaddy not only skinny and flexible, rumor has it he got two stomachs!

BOBBY: What's Mr. Dauterive doing? Whatever it is, it sure is making him popular. Is he... eating...?

CYNDI: Remember, honey, it's not Roman rules, so whatever you do, don't vomit. You keep those doggies in your tummy, and Cyndi will give you some nummy-nummy.

DALE: Behold the great American fat-ass, gorging on the lips and anuses of his brethren.

KID ROCK: He's tri-doggin'!

BILL (in church): Why? Tell me! Why give me a great gift, only to snatch it away? What did I do? Huh? Did I ask for too much? Did I fly too close to the sun on my beautiful hot dog wings? Why do you like Dale better? I hate you! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean that. Please, help me eat more hot dogs than Dale!

PEGGY: I do not know how much longer I can keep Bobby away. Last night while Bill was training, I stabbed my finger with a ballpoint pen to distract him.
HANK: Good work.
PEGGY: Thank you. I think it's infected.

DALE: So, did you get a chance to read my short story?
BOOMHAUER: I... well, man, you know, actually... I had... you know... dang ol' stuff to do...

DALE: Remember, Bill, just because you have their attention doesn't mean that you have their respect.

CYNDI: Is there any chance I might be able to get some alone time with Dale and persuade him?
DALE: Keep your pants on, lady. My wife's hotter than you and she throws more sex at me than I know what to do with.

HANK: You know, Bill, America doesn't need to win every dang thing to be great. We've got the Constitution, two George Bushes, great toilets -- hell, we've played golf on the moon. I guess we can let Laos have a stupid wiener contest, can't we?

HANK: So, things still on with Cyndi?
BILL: No.
DALE: Well, at least you got a little chic-a-womp-womp.
BILL: Actually, we were saving it for tonight. My idea.
HANK: Attaboy, Bill.


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