"The Cake don't sell out."

The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "Redcorn Gambles With His Future"

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Quotes from "Redcorn Gambles With His Future"
Written by Etan Cohen
Directed by Matt Engstrom

WAITRESS: Buon giorno. What can I get you?
MR. STRICKLAND: Well, what do you recommend to a couple of real big spenders?
WAITRESS: My boyfriend likes the surf n' turf.
MR. STRICKLAND: Medium cheese pizza, two waters -- tap.

HANK: I will treat this picnic with all the gravity and seriousness it requires.

JOHN REDCORN:
There's a hole in my pocket where my money should go,
There's a hole in my heart where you used to go,
There's a hole, and a hole, and a hole!
Big ol' hole!

MR. STRICKLAND: You're the lead monkey on the back of this ostrich.

LUCKY: We're either ahead of our times or possibly way behind, stuck in some more classical time. But either way, us and our times aren't seeing eye to eye.

PEGGY: Entertainment is the only thing that distracts people from realizing how much they don't like each other.

HANK: Finding a band for under a hundred dollars is harder than you think.

HANK: You see what kind of pressure I'm under?
JOE JACK: You're like one of them astronauts, honey.
JOHN REDCORN: Hank.
HANK: Uh... hey, John Redcorn.
JOHN REDCORN: Did you find a band for your picnic?
JOE JACK: No, he didn't. And the poor bastard's all twisted up over it!

HANK: The guy asked me if I wanted honey-mustard and I almost took a swing at him. Long story short, I got a good deal on classic yellow.

DALE: You know what loosens the caboose of any party? Big Mountain Fudgecake! Want me to see if they're available?
HANK: No.
DALE: They've got a super boffo Bachman-Turner Overdrive meets Deep Purple versus ELO kind of sound.
HANK: What are you, their manager?
DALE: Yes! Can you believe the slot was open? I guess you were wrong, Hank -- dreams do come true.

BOBBY (on Bloomers): He does "imagi-tainment."

JOHN REDCORN: Let's open with "I Need Money." We can transition to "Gotta Get Money" and do a whole money medley.

DALE: Listen, Yoko, I'm the manager of this act and I'm sick of you trying to split them apart!
LUANNE: What's a Yoko?

BILL: I made a lot of my life decisions at a Foghat concert. I stand by them.

COP: We're shutting you down, sir. This is an illegal gaming establishment.
JOHN RECORN: Illegal? No. We're on Indian land. Look at me. Look at all the headdresses.
COP: Yes, sir, and we are in Texas, where there is no Indian gaming. Didn't you wonder why there were no other Indian casinos?
JOHN REDCORN: I thought it would work to our advantage.

JOHN REDCORN: How could you not know there was no gaming in Texas?
MANKILLER: Look, the dream business is not extremely detail-oriented.

JOHN REDCORN: I could sue you.
MANKILLER: Possibly. But you'd spend years in the White Man's course, fighting the White Man's lawyers, which we have a lot of.

DALE: Come on, guys. Did we give up when I left the "e" off of all of our merchandise? No, and we wore those "Fudgecak" T-shirts with pride.

LUCKY: You look like I feel whenever I run over one of my dogs.

OCTAVIO: Gribble? Got him.
DALE: Good. Make him disappear.
OCTAVIO: You want me to kill him?
DALE: What!? No! Although... no, just drive him around. But I'm happy you're being proactive. There are no bad ideas.

ELVIN: I don't play family picnics. It'd send the wrong message. I ain't going.
LUCKY: And I double ain't going.
JOHN REDCORN: Are you crazy? This is a paying gig with hundreds of people!
LUCKY: Yeah, well, the Cake don't sell out.

JOHN REDCORN: There was that song I wrote about killing myself. I could re-write it so it's about personal hygeine.

JOHN REDCORN:
Wake up, I want to... wash myself,
Clean my wrists,
Scrub my brains out.

JOHN REDCORN:
There's a hole in the jar where the cookie should go,
There's a hole in the tank where the fishie should go,
There's a hole, and a hole, and a hole.

DALE: Yeah, when I first found Redcorn, he was in some go-nowhere Whitesnake meets White Lion meets Great White ripoff group. But I recreated him as the Native American Raffi.


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