"It will grow back."

The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "My Hair Lady"

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Quotes from "My Hair Lady"
Written by Wyatt Cenac
Directed by Allan Jacobsen

PROFESSOR: Miss Platter, are you in my class to learn history or do hair?

PEGGY: May I remind both of you that Luanne Platter, hairstylist, failed her cosmetology exam? Luanne Platter, history student, would have known that.

DALE: They're always talking about college, but have any of you ever actually seen one?

BILL: If there's one thing I've learned in my twenty years of barbering, it's this: It will grow back. If you did a great job or a bad one, it will grow back.
LUANNE: Gosh, you sure know a lot about cutting hair.
BILL: Yeah, well, I've been around a bit. I remember when I was your age, life seemed so full of possibilities. Bruce Jenner's hair had fired the imagination of a nation. Oh, Lord, glory days.
LUANNE: Mr. Dauterive, after I pass my state board exam, maybe I can live the dreams that you're too old to live.

COLETTE: I'm Colette Davis, I own Hottyz. That's right, the one with the "z."
LUANNE: You brought the messy ponytail to Arlen, and then two weeks later you trashed it as uncool!
COLETTE: Guilty. You know, I think you have the Hottyz vibe. And I know vibe. The Arlen Advocate says I invented it.

BILL: I can give you some money, Luanne. I was just going to use it on -- you know -- the Internet.

LUANNE: Mr. Dauterive, if you don't take a chance, you'll end up miserable like Mr. Dauterive.

BILL: Last night, I dreamed about hair. But it was a good dream this time, not the one where it forms a noose and hangs me.

LUANNE: Mr. Dauterive got kicked right in the -- well, I didn't see where her foot went, but she said "bullseye."
PEGGY: That's the real world for you: Mr. Dauterive getting kicked in the groin.

LUANNE: Dear Lord, I don't want to go back to college, so please help me be sexy. Amen.

LUANNE (to a client): Your hair is so sexy. It reminds me of... sex.

CLIENT: I'm here for Rico.
BILL: Well, B-Do can help you now.

BILL: I could go for a beer.... uh.... or a pink squirrel. Yeah, I like my drinks the same as my men -- strong and sweet and under an umbrella.

BOBBY: Hello. Which hair gel do you suggest for my hair type? "Virgin" or "Dirty Girl?"
HANK: Bobby. Truck.

LUANNE: Uncle Hank, this is so great. I'm succeeding in the real world, one updo at a time!

DALE: Pirate? Gondola operator? Waiter? Pirate waiter?
HANK: He's supposed to be gay, Dale.
DALE: Really? I don't see it.

BILL: Women who are normally repulsed by me are letting me brush their hair, massage their shoulders, compliment their bottoms.
PEGGY (approaching): Hank, you know who else went to college? That -- (she sees Bill and stops short)
BILL: Hey, Peggy. Let's go invite your hair to that party the rest of you is throwing.
PEGGY (not repulsed): Oh, Bill.

COLETTE: When you were gay, you were intriguing with an artistic bent. Now that you're straight, you're just a sleazy barber.

LUANNE: I already failed out of college. I cannot fail out of the real world. There are no other worlds for me to go to.

BILL: Why can't I be gay? I had it all: women, money, fancy clothes.

HANK: So you used Bill up and then you cast him aside. Do you have any idea how hurtful that is every time it happens to him?

LUANNE: Mr. Dauterive is a great hairstylist. Don't you see? Mr. Dauterive can't help that he's straight. It's just the way he was born, it's in his DNAs. Now, hair does not know gay from straight. It just wants to be loved. Shouldn't we all be more like hair? I know I wish I had been more like hair to my friend Mr. Dauterive.

LUANNE: It's great to stop pretending I'm someone else so I can go back to pretending I'm me again.

JACK: All right, I stole Hottyz's first chair away! And so the scales begin to tip for Jack. Maybe I'll start paying back the Muscular Dystrophy jar.

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