The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "Hilloween"
Quotes from "Hilloween"
YOUNG BOOMHAUER: Yeah, man, talkin' 'bout wa-ha-ha-ha-ha, dang ol' boo, man!
HANK: How is a dalmatian scary?
JUNIE: Why don't we start things off with a little quiz?
HANK: Eatwells? Sugar-free low-fat fun bars? Peggy, these aren't for trick-or-treaters, they're for diabetics.
LUANNE: Uncle Hank, Aunt Peggy, I have terrible news. Halloween is a Satanic holiday! It was invented by the Druish!
JUNIE: So you told him about the Druids and the candy-corn and he still thinks Halloween is just for fun?
PRINCIPAL MOSS: We can't afford another lawsuit. We blew our budget fighting wheelchair ramps and left-handed scissors.
LUANNE: Junie Harper says a haunted house is the Devil's mousetrap, and fun is the cheese.
HANK: "Junie Harper says, Junie Harper says" -- last time I checked, it wasn't Junie Harper's face in the stained-glass window at Arlen First Methodist.
BOBBY: I don't know, Dad, this is vandalism, and vandalism isn't cool.
PEGGY: I go to church too, and I have raffled and bingoed and bake-saled my way as close to the good Lord as you. So do not try to one-up me, because I will one-up yours.
DALE: The vandalism upon my house can only be described as a hate crime. Somebody hates me.
BOBBY: I heard Satanists like my dad always sacrifice virgins, so we both better be careful.
JUNIE: I guess the old saying is true: Sex kills.
MAN: Where's grandpa?
LUANNE: I think that it's better for a child to recieve wholesome impressions from established religious authorities... than participate in rituals that are conducted by people who really don't even realize that they are pawns of the devil.
HANK: I came very close to spitting out beer.
BOOMHAUER: Hey, man, check it out, don't need no dang ol' costume, man, I'm a dang ol' mime, man, 'cause I'm tryin' to get out of this box, man... next I'll play dang ol' tug of war, man.
DALE: Boo! I am a high-priced Washington lobbyist peddling influence. Who wants candy?
JUNIE: You'll go to hell!
BOBBY: Hey, Dad, I was just kidding before. I care about candy. I care a whole lot.