"Omega House forever!"

The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "Fun With Jane and Jane"

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Quotes from "Fun with Jane and Jane"
Written by Garland Testa
Directed by Adam Kuhlman

MR. STRICKLAND: I want them emus dead, Hank! Make it look like a heart attack.

PEGGY: I fear I am becoming your incredibly fun crutch.

LUANNE: A guy on the football team said that all Zeta Sigma Tau girls are sluts. Is that true? Because I can't join if that's true.

SORORITY GIRL: My mother and grandmother were sisters at Texas Tech.
LUANNE: Your mother and grandmother were sisters? Shoot, your family's more messed up than mine!
KATHRYN: So, was your mother in a house?
LUANNE: Well, she's been in a halfway house, and the big house...

DALE: I'm doing this pro bono. That means I get the bones. I know a Chinese guy, he uses them to get erections.

LUANNE: I just got kicked out of a sorority house full of stuck-up girls with great clothes who think they're so great because they don't have mamas in jail.
LISA: Your mother is in jail? Wow! It's amazing that you're in college and not trying to mug me or sell me drugs right now.
LUANNE: I think so too!

LISA: This is the sad girl who drinks alone on campus that I told you about.

DEPROGRAMMER: This cult has lawyers out the yin-yang and they know how to use them.

HEAD JANE: What's your name?
LUANNE: Luanne.
HEAD JANE: No, it's not. It's Jane.
LUANNE: Nuh-uh, she's Jane, I'm Luanne.
HEAD JANE: You're being very stubborn, Jane.
LUANNE: Here's a little trick I use to remember my name: I think of a man named Lu and a woman named Anne. They meet in a kingdom in the forest.

BILL: Why does everything I love run away from me?
HILL: Because you have to pet everything like an idiot!

LUANNE: Rice for breakfast? But we had rice for dinner last night! I'm losin' weight 'cause I haven't had any meat! And I lose weight in my chest first!
HEAD JANE: You think you are hungry, but you're not. Your body lies to you, just like your parents. But you can trust us. We will tell you when you're hungry. We will tell you when you're tired.
LUANNE: Will you tell me if I have to go to the bathroom right now? Because I think I do, but a lot of the times when I get there, I don't, and I just sit there and hum.
HEAD JANE: No! No bathroom! Number one and number two is something you did before you became an Omega!

HEAD JANE: You have an independent streak that makes it very difficult for us to love you. Do you like it here?
LUANNE: Well, it's cold, and you locked me in a closet and yelled at me, but I have made a lot of new friends, so yes.
HEAD JANE: I can assign you ten friends for life or zero. It's up to you.

HANK: No, you're not "tripping," that is an emu.

PEGGY: All sororities do hazing. The harder it is, the stronger the friendship. Why do you think POWs are always having reunions?

PEGGY: Have you ever wondered why I spend every Friday night with you?
LUANNE: Because I challenge you with my intellectual.

HEAD JANE: I wish I could jump in your head and crawl around.

PEGGY: Oh, they listen to everything I have to say about my hopes, my dreams, my issues with my overbearing and stifling mother -- I never want this to end!
LUANNE: It never has to end, Aunt Jane. Once we get to the ranch, it's gonna be so beautiful and peaceful, just like a tanning bed.
PEGGY: At first I thought I was dizzy from hunger, but now I know it is from bliss!

HANK: Excuse me, are you with the cult?
CULT MEMBER: We're not a cult. We're an organization that promotes love, and --
HANK: Yeah, this is it.

DALE: They're nothing but soulless autonomatonomonapotons.
HANK (seeing the grilling across the street): This is a job for meat.

PEGGY: My name is not Jane. My name is Peggy, and I love meat!

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