The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "Keeping Up With Our Joneses"
Quotes from "Keeping Up With Our Joneses"
HANK: This grout is supposed to stay white for twenty years. What's it been, seventeen, eighteen? Peggy, where's that receipt?
JOSEPH: I found a sparkplug.
BOBBY (reading the label on the Manitoba cigarette carton): "The official cigarette of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police." Wow! I never had one of those.
HANK: Is this john occupied? Est esta juan occupado?
HANK: Didn't you read this? "Cancer. Heart disease. Emphysema."
PEGGY (to Bobby): Only trailer trash smoke nowadays! Do you want to look like trailer trash?
PEGGY: Oh, honey, you are not trash just 'cause you grew up in a trailer and your momma's in prison.
JOSEPH: I'm sorry, Dad. I'll never smoke again.
HANK: For God's sake, Bobby, what nationality are you?
ENRIQUE: Things got tough after NAFTA sent all the pinata jobs north.
BOBBY: Hey, all right! You guys smoke too?
LUANNE: I cannot believe you're all smoking! Don't you know more people die of smoking than die of... war... in Vietnam... every day?
INSTRUCTOR: Look to your left. Now look to your right. What do you see? Don't be shy -- there are no wrong answers here.
HANK: Bill, what are you doing here?
INSTRUCTOR: How long have you been addicted to cigarettes?
HANK: I tell you what you all need, you need to take a thirteenth step, down off your high horse.
BOBBY: Why does my potato have skin on it? I hate skin!
HANK: I wasn't gonna smoke it, I swear.
PEGGY: Shut that damn door! Can't you see that I am knitting?
BOBBY: Mom, this is not your son, this is your buddy. Who's your buddy? Who's your buddy?
LUANNE: I am sick of dysfunctional families. I came from one and I'm not going to let it happen to you. Function! Function, damn you!
HANK: We'll smoke it together, you and me. It'll be romantic, like it used to be in the old days, before he came along!
PEGGY: This family has survived floods and twisters and every kind of flu the Orient could throw at us, and we are not gonna be done in by a little tobacco leaf!
BOOMHAUER: Y'all listen up, man...this's Boomhauer...this your lungs on air, this your lungs on smoke...see the difference, man?...it's goin' stunt your growth all over...you'll wind up in a dang ol' hospital bed like Morton Downey Jr...Robert Downey Jr. even worse, man...yo...think they talk about oral gratification, all that dang...it's gonna give you a low sperm count, man...give ya ear hair...yo...it just ain't no good.