"Soak in your lies, Kidney Boy!"

The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "Kidney Boy and Hamster Girl: A Love Story"

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Quotes from "Kidney Boy and Hamster Girl: A Love Story"
Written by Garland Testa
Directed by Gary McCarver

BOBBY: Connie, come back! Oh! You are forcing me to protect you!

DALE: With the finest lotions, the softest tissues, and the most pleasing lighting design, the Port-a-Gribble will be a four-by-five-by-eight foot slice of paradise.
BILL: Finally, a vacation I can afford.

BILL (in the Port-a-Gribble): I feel like I'm a millionaire construction worker.

HANK: Peggy, if we get his bike, we'll be getting it for him until he's 16. Then we'll be getting his truck.

BOBBY: Fine, I'll go get the bike. Just make sure you videotape my chef programs while I'm in the coma.

SECURITY GUARD: I know it's tough in there for a freshman. They're animals. I got some advice for you: puff out your chest and walk like this. I saw a gorilla do that on a nature show. Scared the hell out of me.

BOBBY: Taco Bueno in high school? I thought that was just an urban legend.

BOBBY: Put me down! My growth is stunted. My kidneys are broken. I'm really a senior.
SENIOR: Like that kid on that old TV show?
BOBBY: Yes, exactly like that kid on that old TV show.

BOBBY: Wow, your cheerleaders really have boobies.
SENIOR: Yeah. Even Junior Varsity has them.

MR. STRICKLAND: Hank, pay the toilet man.

CONNIE: Bobby, they're sold out of prom tickets. It turns out all those nerds who said they had girlfriends at other schools weren't lying.
BOBBY: Well, then, come with me to the high school prom. We're gonna have No Doubt playing.
CONNIE: The high school prom? Me, at the high school prom! Hanging out with Arlen's best teachers!

BOBBY: That's a high school girl I know from the children's hospital. She has a little tail. Not like a monkey, more like a hamster. They can't operate, so they're dissolving it with Compound W.
GIRL: Oh, that brave little Hamster Girl.

CONNIE: I thought they liked you because you're cool, not pitied you because you're a freak.
BOBBY: No, I have the medical condition. You're the freak. We've got to keep our stories straight or we're never gonna pull it off.

DALE: Here at Port-a-Gribble, we reserve the right to refuse service to no one. No shoes, no shirt, yes service!

DOOLEY: You got soaked.

BIG SENIOR: Yeah, soak in it! Soak in your lies, Kidney Boy!

GWEN STEFANI: I just got some terrible news. This next song is dedicated to the memory of Kidney Boy.
GUITARIST: Poor Kidney Boy.


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