"Your honor, I can tell you are a reasonable horse."

The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "Lupe's Revenge"

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Quotes from "Lupe's Revenge"
Written by Dean Young
Directed by Allan Jacobsen

PEGGY: Do not forget tonight's extra credit assignment.
DOOLEY: You're just a sub. You can't give extra credit.
PEGGY: Not towards your grades, no. But you will get extra credit with me, and those Peggy Points add up.

PEGGY: Hank, why don't you want me to go to Mexico? Is it the exchange rate?
HANK: No, it's just that the Spanish they speak down there is... you know... fluent.
PEGGY: And mine isn't? In fact, I am so fluent, I may tutor a few Mexican kids while I'm down there! How do you like that?

PEGGY: Bobby, if you ever marry a Spanish teacher -- and you probably will -- never doubt her enormous gifts.

BOOMHAUER: Yeah, Hank, flirtin' your way out of a little ol' ticket, man... didn't know you had it in you.
HANK: I was not flirting. I didn't even mention that I worked in propane.

DOOLEY: My chicken's the star of the show.

DOOLEY: I drank the water.
PEGGY: Uh-uh: en Espanol.
DOOLEY: Tu eres puerca. ["You are a pig"]
PEGGY: Muy bueno.

LUPE: Yo vivo in Mexico. ["I live in Mexico"]
PEGGY: Yes, "Long live Mexico." Now where are your parents?

LUPE (in Spanish, subtitled): "My parents have no telephone."
PEGGY: Oh, no. She refuses to call her parents because they hate her. Lupe, tu madre amore mucho, mucho.
LUPE (in Spanish, subtitled): "I have no idea what you're saying, but it had better not be anything about my mother."
PEGGY: I was afraid of this. Now she wishes I were her mother.

PEGGY: I smuggled that girl into this country without even knowing it. Don't you think I can smuggle her back if I put my mind to it?

PEGGY: Do not worship me. Worship my actions.

PEGGY: You are creating an incident internationale!

LAWYER: The charges against your wife are quite serious, but I have a brilliant plan. I intend to show that her Spanish is so poor, she could barely order a glass of water, much less order that child to do anything.
PEGGY: That is completely untrue! And if that goes down on the Mehican records, my teaching career is tostada. Uh-uh. I am very fluent. Listen to me roll my "r"s: rrrr! rrrr! I rrrrest my case!

HANK: Mr. Ortiz, I hate to disagree with you, but my wife speaks perfect Spanish. You must put her on the stand...
LAWYER: But that is crazy!
HANK: ...So that she can tell her story in her own words. In Spanish.
LAWYER: Ah. Of course.

LAWYER: Mrs. Hill, in your own words -- your own Spanish words -- please tell the judge what happened with little Lupe.
PEGGY (in Spanish, subtitled): "Your honor, I can tell you are a reasonable horse. I am very pregnant because of what happened with Lupe. She ate my bus accident and all I wanted was to make Lupe into a book. I have too many good anuses ahead of me to spend my life in a cigar factory."

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