The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "When Cotton Comes Marching Home"
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Quotes from "When Cotton Comes Marching Home"
Written by Alan Cohen & Alan Freedland
Directed by Tricia Garcia
COTTON: Hank's wife.
PEGGY: Cotton. I have been calling you. How long have you been in town?
COTTON: A week. We're stayin' over to the VFW. We love it there. Didi and the baby love it there too. Ain't that right, wife?
DIDI: It's just like a second honeymoon, except it's not El Paso.
COTTON: I'll be marchin' in Arlen, with my war buddies: Topsy, Stinky, Brooklyn, Fat Brooklyn, and of course, Irwin Linker.
HANK: What happened to Lucky?
COTTON: Dead!
COTTON: You want my medals? Okay, I'll give them to you. Cost you two hundred dollars a day. There's only one way you could make that, except you're twenty years too old and twenty pounds too skinny.
PEGGY: Cotton Hill, I do not know what I hate more about you -- the way you talk to me or the way you treat your wife and your little child.
COTTON: Well, think about it.
PEGGY: Rob Reiner says that the first year is the most important to a child's development. Your baby brother should be listening to lullabies, not to old men hacking up phlegm!
COTTON: This hobo took three cans from my pile. I got them from a sewer outside a bus station.
JIMMY: Them three cans was my cans. I smashed 'em myself. Smashed 'em good.
COTTON: You're lying! This dumpster-monkey is lying!
COTTON: I'm your man, Mr. Lewis. I supervised the installation of asbestos in every public school in Heimlich County. And eleven bowling alleys.
MR. LEWIS: Our company's paid to remove asbestos.
COTTON: What!? Remove asbestos? What for?
MR. LEWIS: You said on your application that you're thirty-eight years old. Is that right?
COTTON: Indeed! I tend to look older because the Japanese shot my shins off in the war.
MR. LEWIS: Which war?
COTTON: Gulf War.
COTTON: Now you listen to me, Junior. I led a platoon of men through the jungle of Sai Pan. I think I can lead a party of four to table 6!
MANAGER: Mr. Hill, maybe you need to re-evaluate whether you really want to clean up after my customers use the men's room.
DIDI: Sorry I'm late. I had to take three buses: one to get here, one to go back and get G.H., and one to get here.
HANK: A veteran working on Veteran's Day? That ain't right.
COTTON: Topsy, you shouldn't be waitin' for a bus! You strangled Herman Goering, for God's sake!
HANK: I'm happy to help you out.
COTTON: It ain't help. You're payin' me back for all the money I spent raisin' you: food, clothes, sissy lenses for your eyes...
HANK: Okay, Dad, that seems fair.
COTTON: It's more than fair. I ain't even chargin' you interest. 'Cause you're my son and all.