"That's a clean-burning hell, I tell you what!"

The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret Hill"

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Quotes from "Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret Hill"
Written by Sivert Glarum & Michael Jamin
Directed by Gary McCarver

PEGGY: Bobby Hill, put that phone down! The school could be calling me in to sub at any moment. What if an algebra teacher died in a car accident? It would be a tragedy if they couldn't reach me.

MR. STRICKLAND: Hank, bad news. I found out who's been stealing office supplies. It's Donna. Found 'em in the bedroom.
HANK: Good detective work, sir.
MR. STRICKLAND: Yeah, well, I was gettin' tired of her anyway. So now it looks like you gotta find us a new Donna. Make sure you find one that isn't always askin' "What are you thinking about?"

PEGGY: Damn anti-bacterial soap. No one's getting sick any more. I should not have to sneeze in the faculty lounge coffee machine just to get a chance to teach. It is beneath me.

MOTHER SUPERIOR: May I see your resume?
PEGGY: Oh. My resume is... is written on the smiling faces of the children of El Salvador, where I did my most recent nunning.

MONSIGNOR MARTINEZ: Yo soy Monsignor Martinez!
IMPOSTOR: No! Yo soy Monsignor Martinez!

DALE: My turn: Tongue-kiss a lizard, or take a shower in Bill's bathroom?
HANK: Lizard.
BOOMHAUER: Lizard, man, yo.
BILL: Oh, why is the other choice always "Take a shower in Bill's bathroom?"

PEGGY: This is easily the most rewarding job I have ever had.
MOTHER SUPERIOR: More rewarding than teaching crippled children to walk in El Salvador?
PEGGY: Tons more.

PEGGY: What was the last thing you were studying with the Mother Superior?
DANNY: Transubstantiation.
PEGGY: Trans what now?

DANNY: Sister Peggy, does God have a last name?
PEGGY: I would have to say no. He only has one name, like Cher.
TERESA: Sister Peggy, if cats can't pray, do they still go to heaven?
PEGGY: Well, I am not sure where I heard this, but all dogs go to heaven. So I am sure that cats do not.

PEGGY (to Hank): All right, I'm going to be honest with you: I'm not really a nun.

HANK: You're impersonating a nun!
PEGGY: With all the gajillion things that are right about this job, you zoom in on the one negative. It's not like I'm impersonating a Rabbi and circumcising people right and left. And people do that, you know.
HANK: When Whoopi Goldberg impersonated a nun, at least she was running from gangsters.

HANK: That's a clean-burning hell, I tell you what!

PEGGY: Mother Superior, I have a confession to make. I am not a nun. I am -- a Methodist!
MOTHER SUPERIOR: Why would you do this?
PEGGY: Because I love to teach. Not because I hate your religion. I want to be very clear about that.
MOTHER SUPERIOR: I want you out of here now.
PEGGY: I hope that you can forgive me. I think you have to.


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