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Quotes from "The Miseducation of Bobby Hill"
Written by Tim Croston & Chip Hall
Directed by Tricia Garcia

BOOMHAUER: Hey, man, talkin' 'bout true story, man, guy got those weather balloons up on a lawn chair... flew 16,000 feet... Bruce Dern played him in the dang ol' movie.

JOE JACK: Uh-oh. Rabbit done peed on my head.

HANK: Boy, that Joe Jack. He's never gonna get anywhere until he learns that sales are all about character.
PEGGY: Well, unfortunately, that is a lesson he will only learn on his deathbed. And no one wants to buy a grill from a dying man.

HANK: What you do is wipe from her head to her feet. Remember, "Head to feet, you won't cause a leak. Feet to head, everyone's dead."

DALE: There is a small-to-large chance you will develop high-altitude pulminary adaema, meaning your capillaries to flood with fluid, preventing adequate oxygenation, and a spiral of worsening hypoxia, leading to a slow and painful death.
BILL: I don't think I want that.
DALE: That's why I brought the gun. If you start feeling any shortness of breath, rub your belly and I will give you one of Doctor Dale's 38 caliber pain pills.

BOBBY: My dad told me to calibrate the phlanges. Does this phlange look calibrated to you?

(Bill is hanging from a chimney. A small girl looks out of her window at him.)
SMALL GIRL: Santa?
BILL: No. (she looks disappointed and starts to go back inside) Yes! If you get your parents, I will give you a toy. (Bill loses his grip on the roof and flies away)
SMALL GIRL: Goodbye, Santa. I love you.

PEGGY: Children imitate success, Hank. I catch my students imitating me all the time.

HANK (trying to be an aggressive salesman): You want me to tell you a joke?

HANK: I can sell propane upside down and blindfolded, but not with my integrity tied behind my back.

BOBBY: You should've seen Joe Jack. He pulled a flask out of his desk and started drinking. It was so funny!

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