The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "Soldier of Misfortune"
Quotes from "Soldier of Misfortune"
DALE: Macaroon? I've got entrance wound size and exit wound size.
DALE: The Generalissimo was guarded better than a Mafia Don's virgin daughter. We needed the element of surprise, so me and my team showed up disguised as flower delivery men. He answers the door thinking someone sent him a bouquet of roses. But instead, he's pushing up daisies! Sh-sh-sh-sha!
HANK: Don't worry, Dale. I'm sure next week one of those guys will shoot somebody's toe off, and this will all be forgotten.
DALE: Mad Dog's running for president. He's already got the black vote -- Earl -- and the gay vote -- Earl.
DALE: Me having an accidental discharge is like you giving a sales pitch for a grill, and not even mentioning the convenient warming plate.
PEGGY: A gun is a penis substitute. So Dale losing the gun club presidency is like Dale losing his...
HANK: Mr. Big is pleased.
DALE: The falcon has the egg. By "egg" I mean briefcase. Oh, and this is Dale, from the ad.
DALE: Wait a minute. I don't recall a change in plans being in the original plan. What am I carrying in this case?
DALE: I can't die on my first mission! It's bad for business!
DALE: I should have known it was too good to be true. Fourteen years I've been running that ad, and not one call. Then, suddenly -- one call.
DALE: Quick, Nancy, plan 51-Tango!
MAD DOG: Trespassers! If I shoot them, I'm going back to jail. But I can't not shoot them.
JOSEPH: I had to cut my hair to make a mustache for my dad. We're going on a trip.
HANK: I am Mr. Big.
HANK: I was just trying to make you feel better without having to talk to you.
DALE: In about two minutes, a CIA swat team is gonna swarm this place like flies on Bill.
DALE: All those in favor of re-electing Dale Alvin Gribble, who is currently running on the "save your sorry asses" platform, say aye.