"Dang ol' Chilly Willy."

The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "Next of Shin"

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Quotes from "Next of Shin"
Written by Alan Cohen & Alan Freedland
Directed by Jeff Myers

PEGGY: I think it is time we see a fertility specialist.
HANK: He's just gonna poke and prod my naked nethers. No thank you.

NANCY: You don't take your clothes off at the doctor anymore, sug. Anything they need to see, they do it with a new machine called an MRI.
PEGGY: Are you sure they can use it to look at Hank?
NANCY: They use it for everything. Heck, it's the same technology we use down at the station to predict the weather.
PEGGY: I thought you used the Doppler radar.
NANCY: Oh, sug, it's the same thing.

PEGGY: Hank, I have been sitting on these eggs for forty years. They are ready to hatch.

(Dr. Bhudamanjur knocks on the door of the bathroom where Hank is trying to give a sperm sample)
HANK: Aaahh! Busy! Occupied!
DR. BHUDAMANJUR: It's Dr. Bhudamanjur, Mr. Hill. Perhaps you'd be more comfortable trying this at home?
HANK: No.
DR. BHUDAMANJUR: Would you like a magazine?
HANK: Okay. Do you have Popular Mechanics?
DR. BHUDAMANJUR: Mrs. Hill, what did you tell him exactly?

PEGGY: Hank, honey, now just because you scored eight million on your sperm test does not mean you did not give a hundred and ten million percent. I'd give you an A for effort.

DALE: Just so you know, I'm willing to drink beer you've sat on, I'm just not willing to reach for it.

COTTON: She ain't fat. I gots her knocked up!

COTTON: We was usin' four layers of protection, and my men still got through.
HANK: Dad, please, there's a child present.
COTTON: She's my wife, Hank. She was there when it happened. Ain't that right, babycakes?
DIDI: Uh... if you say so, Cotton.

BOOMHAUER: Hey, man, you didn't hear it from me, man... got dang ol' reliable source, man... Dr. Rajav Bhudamanjur, talkin' 'bout dang ol' Chilly Willy.

COTTON: I ain't got a narrow ureety. He gets that from his mother. Mine's so damn wide, I could pass the child myself if I had to!

COTTON: I'm too old to be havin' babies.
BOBBY: We both are, Mister.

BOBBY: Mom and Dad are gonna have another kid? Guess they want to get it right this time.

BOBBY: It's not fair. If I'd known this could happen, I'd have worked harder over the years. You know, exercised, cut down on the fruit pies, gotten a few Bs to raise my average.
HANK: This isn't because you're not good enough. You're great. And two of you will be twice as great.
BOBBY: The only reason I look so good is because I don't have any competition. You have another kid, and I'll look like a failure.
HANK: Believe me, Bobby, you're not the one who should be worried about looking like a failure. You're not in competition with anybody.

HANK: Luanne, how did things go at the police station?
LUANNE: Okay: Grandpa Hill is not a missing persons until he's been gone for forty-eight hours. But this really nice policeman gave me his home phone number, and, well, I'm probably not going to be able to help you look any more tonight.

DALE: Eight topless bars and no Cotton. Of course, you'd be a lot more help if you'd open your eyes, Hank.

HANK: Have any of you seen an old man about yea high, possibly shouting obscenities?
DEALER: Welcome to my world, pal.

COTTON: Hank, you ain't in competition with me. Hell, if it's a contest on who's the better daddy, you win. I mean, you made Bobby. All I made was you.


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