"It's just a little fire. And more bees than I remembered."

The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "Mutual of Omabwah"

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Quotes from "Mutual of Omabwah"
Written by Tony Gama-Lobo & Rebecca May
Directed by Dominic Polcino

BOBBY: So any time you break something, insurance gets you a new one? Hey, if you back the car into my bike, we could get a new car and a new bike.

HANK: I'm just so frustrated with Bobby. He thinks insurance is some magic fairy who just waves her wand and makes teenage jackassery disappear.
PEGGY: "Her" wand? I always think of insurance as a boy.

HANK: I want you to know our policy inside and out before you call Mitch Watson down at the insurance agency. Don't waste his time -- he'll hang up on you.

DALE: Come and get your freshly secreted honey! Don't be put off by Irwin Allen's The Swarm or the tedious Peter Fonda film Ulee's Gold!
YUPPIE WOMAN # 1: Look, Alison! Bees! I heard Jenna Elfman on Access Hollywood talking about how you can cure anything with the venom from bee stings.
ALISON: Bee stings?
DALE: Yeah, "Bee stings?"
YUPPIE WOMAN # 1: My nutritionist says it stimulates your body's natural healing response. A friend of mine used it during childbirth instead of an epidural.
ALISON: How many stings do I get for $150?
DALE: Uh... ahem... well, the going rate is... uh... twelve?
YUPPIE WOMAN # 1: That's a really good deal.
DALE: M-hm, it really is.

BILL: This banana is delicious. The monkeys must never find out.

HANK: If Mitch asks, tell him this call is being monitored for quality assurance.

HANK (into the phone): Just give me your new address. And remember, we're all being monitored here.

HANK: Bobby, grab my checkbook. I'm gonna kick this guy's ass over the phone.

HANK: Bwahhh!
SUPERVISOR: I'm sorry, could you repeat that?

BOBBY: We could go to Six Flags and get a two-day pass. I think they call it a "twicket."

DALE: It's true, bee venom is the penecillin of the 21st century! It cures everything from toothaches to ADD! Isn't that right, young Joseph?
JOSEPH: My head hurt. But now it doesn't.
DALE: Step right up and tell me what ails you!
MAN # 1: My neck's kind of stiff.
DALE: Eight bee stings. You?
WOMAN: I feel fine.
DALE: Six bee stings. You?
MAN # 2: Planters wart.
DALE: Ugh! Thirteen bee stings.

HANK: Why don't you go check the strapping on the water heater? Texas hasn't had a major earthquake in 165 years. We're due.

PEGGY: I only have twenties. Do you have anything smaller?
LUANNE: I only have nothing.

BILL: If everybody fried their food, there would be no war.

DALE: Your venom did nothing. You betrayed me. Well, you may have destroyed my arm, but my legs are still feeble yet functional!

HANK: Dale's in trouble. We need to go out there.
BOBBY: Out there?! With the bees? And the hail? And the A-bombs?
HANK: Bobby, I think you're getting a little carried away. And I guess I pushed you there.

HANK: Bobby, this is not a big deal. It's just a little fire. And more bees than I remembered.

BOBBY: Mr. Dauterive's on fire!
HANK: That'll happen.

DALE: Joseph, I'm having some sort of reaction. But I'm only allergic to shellfish and... bees. Joseph, I -- oh. You were never here, were you? This could be bad.

HANK: Hey, how'd you like to help adjust the deductible on our umbrella policy?
BOBBY: Would I!


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