"Patriotism doesn't take a vacation."

The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "The Petriot Act"

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Quotes from "The Petriot Act"
Written by Christy Stratton
Directed by Robin Brigstocke

HANK: Boy, Bill, that is a magnificent animal.
BILL: Yeah, I got him through a new military program where you take care of a G.I.'s pet while he's on his tour of duty.
HANK: Well, all right! That's a great way to serve our country: supporting our enlisted men, one dog at a time.

BILL: Anyone can join. All you have to do is take a pledge to perform all functions necessary and possible for the animal's well-being.
HANK: A pledge!?

HANK: I thought I made it very clear that we didn't want Duke until after we got back from our vacation.
SGT. WILLIAMSON: Patriotism doesn't take a vacation, sir.

BOBBY: Why do we need toilet seat covers?
PEGGY: One word: Tennessee.

BILL: I just got a gift basket from my G.I. He's a Blue Angel! He's the one who made France mad by flying under the Eiffel Tower.

DALE: Uh, Hank, looks like that cat ate your dog.

DALE: Hank, looks like the cat is out of the bag! (laughs) Oh, this has been a cat-astrophe! (laughs) Uh... cat. Uh... you got a cat! (laughs)

HANK: Oh, my God, that cat has soiled in my shoes! Where is he?
BOBBY: He's in my room! If I stop petting him, he'll bite me! ... It's like having a bomb strapped to my lap!

TOMMY: You're in good hands. I don't have a pet, but I'd bring my son here if they'd let me.

DR. LESLIE: Would it kill you not to go on vacation? Because it might kill Duke.

PEGGY: $150 for a feline enema? I could do it for half that!

HANK: You can keep the pen. It's from some company that makes Viagra for lizards.
MAN WITH SNAKE: Does it work for snakes too?

PEGGY: You know, just being away from Duke feels like a holiday.

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