"I never agreed to be a Larsen pork product!"

The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "Pigmalion"

Click here to return to the Main Quotes Page


Quotes from "Pigmalion"
Written by Jonathan Collier
Directed by Dominic Polcino

PEGGY: The Learning Annex is offering a class on the joy of enterpreneuring -- I signed you up.
LUANNE: It would be really nice if you could ask me when you make decisions about my life.
PEGGY: You're right. Would you like to go at seven or at nine?
LUANNE: Uh... seven.
PEGGY: I'm sorry, that won't work for me.

TRIP: My great-grandfather started Larsen Pork Products with little more than three pigs and a killing hammer. Today, I'm proud to say, we kill more pigs than pig hepatitis.

TRIP: Does the young lady have a question?
LUANNE: I --
PEGGY (interrupting): Yes. I find that I am too busy succeeding, so I have trouble remembering all of my bright ideas. That's why I keep them in a file.
TRIP: Uh, that was more of a comment, not a question.
PEGGY: Oh, why thank you, I think so too.

HANK: Sometimes men aren't interested in what they say they're interested in. To put it bluntly, they're more interested in something else.
LUANNE: Oh, you mean sex.
HANK: Aaahh! No! No! No! (leaves, then comes back) Yes.

LUANNE: You know so much, and I know so little. I hope that doesn't make you think I'm stupid.
TRIP: You are not stupid. You're ignorant.
LUANNE (angry): Wait, no! You can't call me --
TRIP: It's a compliment! It just means means you haven't had a chance to learn all the wrong things.
LUANNE: No one has ever told me that before.
TRIP: Maybe that's because no one has ever understood how ignorant you truly are.

DALE: Whose house are we gonna be T.P.-ing this year?
BILL: Probably mine again.

TRIP: Hank, how would you like a ride in a hot-air balloon? I don't need to tell you it's powered by propane.
HANK: That's one of the eight uses of propane I haven't experienced first-hand!

PEGGY: You may be rich, but all the money in the world cannot buy you the most precious gift of all: My respect!

LUANNE: Aunt Peggy, Trip thinks no one ever solved anything with a run-on sentence.
PEGGY: How dare you! You do not come into my home and insult my grammar unless your name happens to be Strunk or White. Is it?

LUANNE: I am a proud ignorant woman and no one is going to change that!

TRIP: You wiped your eyes on my tie. That's okay! It's an amazing fabric.

LUANNE: I might have grown up poor, but I never met anyone who kept a pig in the house.
TRIP: That's because they weren't equipped for it.

TRIP: Your head hasn't been harmed. It's been improved. I took the liberty of dying it while you were asleep for the last fourteen hours.

PEGGY: You look nice, Luanne.
LUANNE: I know. Trip told me.

XAVIER (plaintively): Life is a series of compromises.

TRIP: Where did Luanne go?
PEGGY: That's for me to know and you to find out. And for me to find out too, because I don't know.

TRIP: Trust me, Luanne, this is for the best! We agreed that I would do the thinking for both of us!
LUANNE: I never agreed to be a Larsen pork product!

LUANNE: At least Trip seemed happy, and now he's in a better place.
PEGGY: Honey, Trip had a mental breakdown and is now a sausage. That's not a better place.


Click here to return to the Main Quotes Page

1