"Buddhist liar."

The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "Won't You Pimai Neighbor?"

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Quotes from "Won't You Pimai Neighbor?"
Written by John Altschuler & Dave Krinsky
Directed by Kyounghee Lim & Boohwan Lim

KAHN: Okay, this very simple. You all come to my big Pimai party, get out of your stinking pigpens for a night, see what it's like to live in a Pottery Barn catalogue.

HANK: So Kahn's party is for real. I'm gonna R.S.V.P. I'm not going.
DALE: Nope.
BILL: Je reponds non, absolument non!

BOBBY: Your dad's days of hating me are coming to a close. Who can hate a kid who can Charleston?

PEGGY: Let's practice. I'll be Kahn. A-hem: You are a dumb redneck!
HANK: That sounds more like Minh.
PEGGY: Leave my wife out of this, hillbilly!

KAHN: They are coming to our party, and Ted says they are bringing along important monks.
MINH: Buddhist monks?
KAHN: Yeah, yeah, Buddhist, whatever. Monks.

KAHN: These monks are looking for reborn spirit of some lama, name of Lama Sanglug. Lesser-known lama, but still spiritual bigshot any way you slice it.

CONNIE: What makes everyone so sure that Chane's the lama?
KAHN: He second oboe, runner-up in Westinghouse science contest, and he has terrific posture.
CONNIE: I'm first violin and the Westinghouse winner -- how do you know I'm not the lama?
KAHN: Connie? A lama? Oh, that would be amazing! Finally, stuck-up jerk Ted Wasonasong have to kiss my ass!

TED: Okay, son, you the lama! You the lama!

MINH: Get out of my way, redneck! It's test time!
HANK: Hey, Peggy does do a good you.

HANK: The Buddhist monks think Bobby's a holy man. Now that's just sad.
PEGGY: Hank, listen to this: Richard Gere is a Buddhist.
HANK: And it just keeps getting sadder.

HANK: No way. No got-dang way!

REVEREND STROUP: Bobby, do ya love Jesus?
BOBBY: With all my heart.
HANK: Buddhist liar.

BOBBY: Let the wind take the world away. What do you hear inside, Connie?
CONNIE: I just hear my dad's ignorance and my mom's empty-headed materialism. No, wait, I hear my dad's empty-headed materialism too. That's the loudest.

PEGGY (reading a bumper sticker): "My child is on the honor roll at Westview Elementary." Oh, yeah? Well, my child is God to billions of Asians!

CHANE: I'm glad I'm not the lama. The Chane Train stops for the ladies.

BILL: So, how long you been celibate?
JUNIOR MONK: Three years.
BILL: The fourth year's the tough one.

JUNIOR MONK: There is a Buddhist saying: "As the wheel follows the ox that draws the cart, the wind cannot overturn a mountain."
HANK: You're talking like a song from The Lion King. Stop it. It makes no sense.
JUNIOR MONK: Or does it make perfect sense?
HANK: What the --? See, that's the type of -- I'm gonna kick your ass.
JUNIOR MONK: If my ass is going to be kicked, then it will be kicked.

KAHN: There, there, Kahn Jr. We know how you must feel, but really, you just dodged a chubby white bullet.

HANK: Lord? Hank Hill here, Methodist. Sorry about missing the homeless prayer service. Now, about Bobby, I'm pretty sure we're on the same page about this lama thing. I was kind of hoping you could have him fail this test tomorrow, you know, like you've had him fail so many tests in the past. Oh, and the starving kids. Gotta go, amen.

BOBBY: I can pick anything I see on this rug?
BOBBY: I pick Connie, right there, in the mirror.

MONK # 1: But that was Sanglug's mirror.
HEAD MONK: I know, but he didn't pick it.
MONK # 1: But he used it.
HEAD MONK: Tough call. But it's mine, and I made it.

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