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The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "The Substitute Spanish Prisoner" Click here to return to the Main Quotes Page Quotes from "The Substitute Spanish Prisoner"
PEGGY: Hank, all my life I have always had all the answers. And today I didn't, and I'm scared. What if I'm really not as smart as I think I am?
BOBBY: "The only intelligence testing site endorsed by the Intelligence Institute of Texas." Even I sound smart reading that! DALE: So they administer the test, and they sell the books. Sounds like she is getting ripped off by they...m.
DR. VAYZOSA: You're all familiar with the benefits of a PhD degree?
TUG: If I had a PhD, I'd stop being a sports announcer and start calling chess games and such. JIMMY: I'm Jimmy. I work at the racetrack, where the cars race. If I was Doctor Jimmy, nobody would call me stupid.
PEGGY: I must admit I'm surprised to see Jimmy Witchard here. I'm quite familiar with the man, and his... work, and I --
HANK: They could have rigged that test so anyone would look like a genius.
HANK: Peggy, I'm going to put this in terms even a genius can understand: you are no genius. HANK: You've got what they call book smarts. Now, if we wanted to write a story about you losing our money, well, hands down, you're the one for the job. But if we want to do something that takes street smarts, like getting our money back from the jerk who stole it, then I'm the guy.
PEGGY: Things are not always as they appear to be. This looks like I pulled my thumb off, but --
JIMMY: We gonna con him! Con him good! OLD WOMAN: Vayzosa's already taken us for $8,000. If I lose this, I'll have to be buried at sea.
CASHIER: Welcome to the gambling parlor. May I take your bet, sir?
PEGGY: I should have listened to you, but I didn't. While you were talking, I was humming a song inside my head just waiting for you to stop. PEGGY: Thanks, Boomhauer. I knew I could count on you not to talk.
BOBBY: Mom, I know a magician's not supposed to reveal --
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