The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "Dale Be Not Proud"
Quotes from "Dale Be Not Proud"
BILL: John Force is the greatest funny-car racer ever. He's done more in a quarter-mile than I've done in my whole life.
PEGGY: Word on the street is that Miriam Caney has been throwing up in the bathroom the last few mornings. So I better put in a little face-time with Principal Moss if I want to land that sweet, sweet maternity gig.
BOBBY: Tune in tomorrow when Bobby hill takes over the announcements. If this goes well, class clown is a walk.
DALE: Count me out. The vast majority of unauthorized face removals happen to people in hospitals.
DALE: That silent treatment won't work on me. I don't need you to talk to. I've got my thoughts. (beat, then:) I can't be alone with my thoughts!! You've heard them!
EMILY: Mike Soto didn't need to be funny. He had credibility. You better be funny.
HANK: Dangit, Dale, you're not even gonna think about it? We're talking about John Force.
JOHN FORCE: I can't thank you enough for doing this, Dale. My kids thank you too.
DALE: I can't afford to be out of commission for three days. As one of Arlen's leading skeptics, I've got my fingers in a lot of pies.
DALE: You have to make sure that nothing happens to me, that no one steals my brain. Or if they do, they replace it with one of equal or greater value.
HANK: Where am I supposed to get mice?
PEGGY: Bobby, the reason people weren't laughing is not because you weren't funny, it was because they didn't know they were supposed to laugh. You are as funny as Wacky and Steve on Power-100, or even that Morning Dog Pound. The only thing that separates you from them is... a cowbell.
DALE: Four knocks and a honk?
MAN: Look, Gribble's got a standing order for alien urine. Eight drums, $319. You won't find a better price.
(On Dale's checks:)
OCTAVIO (disguised as a doctor): You're the new Gribble, right? I need to talk to you.
HANK: I'll need to think about this.
DALE (in post-op dementia): ...Nancy, what's Redcorn doing in our shower?...
OCTAVIO: Yo, jefe, where is Gribble's kidney? I lined up a buyer in Caracas. He outbid this dude in Ireland by forty euros.
DALE (threatening to destroy his kidney): Come any closer and this baby's good for nothing but an Englishman's breakfast.
DALE: Hank, it sounds like you did everything right except giving away my kidney. And since I traded it for a bunch of kiddie toys, I guess we both let me down.
DALE: So, while you were me, did you sleep with Nancy?