"She's not prejudiced, she's racist."

The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "Racist Dawg"

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Quotes from "Racist Dawg"
Written by J.B. Cook
Directed by Mike DiMartino

BOBBY: Mom, why is Mr. Dauterive kissing Dad?

BILL: I smelled something coming from your house. Not the usual smell of cooking...pine cleaner...happiness.

HANK: You must be the repairman Peggy hired behind my back.
PEGGY: This is my husband Hank. He's the one who almost killed us.

BOOMHAUER: Talkin' bout ol' Ladybird, man...got the disposition of a dove, man...like, coo-coo-coo, you know what I'm sayin'?
BILL: Yeah, Ladybird's so nice she'd let someone eat out of her own bowl, no matter how drunk they were.

HANK: You've got to believe me, Ladybird is not prejudiced.
MACK: I know she's not prejudiced. She's racist!

DALE: Yep.
BILL: Yep.
BOOMHAUER: Yep.
HANK: My dog is a racist.

PEGGY: I'll tell you something right now: We cannot afford to have that dog running amok, biting every black person she sees. It makes us look like a bunch of ignorant rednecks. Oh, and it's bad for black people too.

HANK: Bobby, I know you're knowledgeable of black videos and whatnot, and right now I need you to use your love of Puffy and Diddy and Snoopy to help me.

BOBBY: Check out his bling-bling!
HANK: There, there, girl, just flow with the nice music and bling-bling.

BUDDHA SACK: Look, I know you're not like that, but if it makes you feel any better, you should take this internet test my brother made us take last Christmas. It's a good test. It said I was racially unbiased, and I love gay people. Didn't see that one coming, but I'm happy.

BUDDHA SACK: Hank's taking the racist test.
DONNA: Oh, wow. Is he a racist?
BUDDHA SACK: We don't know yet!

(Click here to see the real online racial bias test that inspired the spoof in this episode.)

BOBBY: If you found those dolls in my room, I swear I've never seen them before.
PEGGY: It's okay, Bobby, they're your father's.
BOBBY: Dad plays with dolls?
HANK: No. I'm not playing with dolls. I'm interacting with them.
BOBBY: Oh. Can I interact with the dolls too?
HANK: Sure, son, let's interact together.
BOBBY (as the white doll): Hewwo. Have you seen a big fwuffy kitty wunning awound here?
HANK (as the black doll): What's your kitten's name?
BOBBY (as the white doll): We call her Whiskers, but she'll answer to Kiki. Here, Ki-ki-ki-ki-ki!

HANK: I don't know what got into her. Ladybird just started biting this -- white guy. A white guy! Ladybird's biting a white guy, Peggy!


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