The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "Reborn to be Wild"
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Quotes from "Reborn to be Wild"
Written by Tony Gama-Lobo & Rebecca May
Directed by Dominic Polcino
DALE: Nancy refused to make me Eggs Benedict for breakfast again. It's not fair. I'm a good husband. The ones who kill their wives and go to Death Row get to eat whatever they want!
DALE: I let Joseph listen to whatever he wants. 'Course, I'm afraid of Joseph.
PEGGY: He's just playing, Hank. Gangstas and Hos is this generation's Cowboys and Indians.
REVEREND STROUP: If you're looking for entertainment, I do have a very awesome video that you might enjoy.
BOBBY: If it's the one about Esau the Eggplant and the Prodigal Cucumber, I've seen it about a thousand times.
BOBBY: I can't believe you're making me do this. It's so uncool.
HANK: You know what's not cool, Bobby? Hell.
DALE (on his last meal): I'd ask for the world's rarest truffle. Then while they were searching for it, I'd tunnel my way to freedom. Of course, then I'd miss eating the world's rarest truffle. Quite the quandary.
BOBBY: These are my friends from the youth group. They're cool and they're totally Christian.
BOBBY: Anybody mind if I say Grace tonight?
HANK: Sure, Bobby.
BOBBY: I wanna give a shout-out to the man who makes it all happen. Props be to you for this most bountiful meal that sits before us. Okay, check it, God, you've got skillz. You represent in these vegetables and in this napkin and in the dirt that grows the grain that makes the garlic breadsticks that are on this table today, yes-shizz.
HANK: Okay, Bobby, God appreciates the support, but I'm sure He wouldn't want the pot roast to get cold. Now let's wrap it up.
BOBBY: Sure thing. Thanks, J-Man. Peace.
PASTOR K: To be tight with the Lord, you gotta take your faith to the limit. You know what I'm talking about?
KID: The power!
PASTOR K: That's right! Nothing runs without power. Your amp is useless unless it gets that juice, and so are we. So you gotta test all things to find the good.
BOBBY: But how do you know what's good?
PASTOR K: It's whatever sticks to your spirit, man, whatever God tattoos on your soul. We're all searching for that eternal ink.
(Bobby is wearing a t-shirt that reads "SATAN SUCKS")
HANK: Bobby, take that off! You can not wear a t-shirt with that word on it.
BILL: Such vulgarity! Wait, which word, Hank, "Satan" or "sucks?"
HANK: Well, either one.
BOBBY: Why not, Dad? Satan does suck.
HANK: I know, but --
DALE: He's right, Hank. What does your t-shirt say? "Satan Rules?"
BILL: We should have our own last meals.
BOOMHAUER: Hey, man, we can have it over at my place, man... it'll be just like The Breakfast Club, man, except for dinner... and no Judd Nelson either, man.
DALE: There you go! The first meeting of the Last Meal Club convenes at Boomhauer's.
BILL: I love it when we do things!
BOBBY: And then Cain was all like "I ain't s'posed to be lookin' out for my bro, yo."
LUANNE: I didn't know that was in Genesis.
KAHN: The quest for the perfect meal. Of course it must start with shrimp.
PASTOR K: Dude, you don't have to act or dress a certain way for God. You can hang with him any way, anywhere. Don't you think Jesus is right here in this half-pipe?
HANK: I'm sure he's a lot of places he doesn't want to be.
PEGGY (playing an "Exodus" video game): Whoo! I'm out of Egypt! And look at Moses dance!
PEGGY: I was on board with baptizing Ladybird, but how could you destroy those perfect little ears I gave you?
BOBBY: You guys just don't understand how I feel about Jesus!
DALE: Bobby loves God, you worship the devil. Dinners must be tense.
HANK: Oh, damn, his Bible's gone.
LUANNE: I better go now. One of the bands asked me to leave before I give them impure thoughts.
DALE: Here, Bill, let me serve you.
BILL: But I don't want to die.
BOOMHAUER: Dang, man, talkin' 'bout dang ol' superstition... pass the salt, man, I'm gonna throw a bit of that crap over my shoulder, man.
KAHN: Yeah, I had a big lunch that, uh, didn't tempt fate.
BOBBY: I'll say holy, you say ghost! Holy!
PASTOR K: The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want! He make me lie down in green pastures!
BOBBY: They're green, y'all!
HANK: Can't you see you're not making Christianity better, you're just making rock n' roll worse.
PASTOR K: You people are all alike. You look at us and think we're freaks. Come on, even Jesus had long hair.
HANK: Only because I wasn't his dad.
JESSIE: Never come between a kid and his dad. If the man doesn't want his boy praising like you, that's cool.
PASTOR K: Yeah, but --
JESSIE: Now go finish the show before they start moshing out of anger instead of jubilation.
JESSIE: I feel where you're coming from.
BOBBY: When I turn 18, I'm going to do whatever I want for the Lord. Tattoos, piercings, you name it.
HANK: Well, I'll take that chance. Come here, there's something I want you to see. (Hank takes down a box from the shelf and opens it up) Remember this?
BOBBY: My beanbag buddy? Oh, man, I can't believe I collected those things. They're so lame.
HANK: You didn't think so five years ago. And how about your virtual pet? You used to carry this thing everywhere. Then you got tired of it, forgot to feed it, and it died.
BOBBY (looks at a photo of himself in a Ninja Turtles costume): I look like such a dork.
HANK: I know how you feel. I never thought that "Members Only" jacket would go out of style, but it did. I know you think stuff you're doing now is cool, but in a few years you're going to think it's lame. And I don't want the Lord to end up in this box.
BOBBY: Hey, what's this picture? Mom used to have blonde hair?
HANK: Farrah Fawcett was very popular back then.
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