"Bobby, time to wrap pennies!"

The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "Rich Hank, Poor Hank"

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Quotes from "Rich Hank, Poor Hank"
Written by Etan Cohen
Directed by Tricia Garcia

BOBBY (shopping for a wallet): This one's pretty snazzy, and it looks like it could hold a ton of money. That way, if I wanted to impress someone, I could pull out a really big wad of cash -- bam! Dad, gimme a big wad of cash!
HANK: What are you trying to do, get us mugged?

HANK: Bobby, only jackasses go around saying how much money they make.
BOBBY: What are you talking about? Julia Roberts makes $20 million a picture. Are you calling America's sweetheart a jackass?
HANK: It's just vulgar, Bobby. The amount of money a man makes is between him and the professionals down at the H&R Block.

DALE: Yep.
BILL: Yep.
BOOMHAUER: M-hm.
HANK: My boy asked me how much money I make.
BILL: The nerve!
DALE: The less kids know about money, the less likely they are to rat you out under pressure of a Federal investigation.

(In Bobby's fantasy)
RICH HANK: Tell you what, Bobby, what say we tally-ho it over to the money room?
RICH BOBBY: Capital idea, Dad. Capital.

CONNIE: I don't know, Bobby. We've lived next door to you for a long time, and you don't seem rich. I mean, you guys don't have half the stuff we do, and everything you do have, we have a better version of.

CONNIE: Maybe your dad is one of those rich misers. A lot of rich people are crazy. They hang onto every penny. Howard Hughes wore Kleenex boxes on his feet, and he wrote an instruction manual on the exact way his staff should serve him a peach.
BOBBY: My dad wrote a 13-step system for putting away groceries.
CONNIE: And there was this woman, they called her "The Witch of Wall Street." She was so cheap that when her son got sick, she refused to pay for a doctor, and they had to cut the kid's leg off. Boy, it seems like the richer people get, the cheaper they get. And the cheaper they get, the crazier they get.
HANK (offscreen): Bobby, time to wrap pennies!

NANCY: Joseph, sug, you know better than to spread silly gossip. What did Reverend Stroup say? It was something about Jesus, and gossip, and it rhymed.

DALE: "The Millionaire Next Door." I read that book, but I had no idea it was about Hank.

BOOMHAUER: Yeah, dang ol' money's like the wind, man, you only feel it when it's movin'.

JOHN REDCORN: Hank, America is aging. The Baby Boomers will soon become the Senior Boomers. As a recognized leader in the healing industry, I am in a unique position to capture this emerging market. I think you know where I'm going with this. For your investment of only a million dollars --
HANK: What?!
JOHN REDCORN: I'm not asking for a handout. This is an investment opportunity in the New Age Golden Years Assisted Living Facility.
HANK: Sure, I'll give you your million. Do you want it in rubies or fairy dust?
JOHN REDCORN: Someone is going to make a lot of money off this idea. And it could have been us.

HANK: Good job, Bobby. Hey, it looks hot up there. Why don't you come down and take a break?
BOBBY: Breaks are for guys on disability.

DALE: So Hank frittered away his fortune. God, if Peggy was the best he could do with money, what's going to happen now when she leaves him?
BOOMHAUER: Man, talkin' 'bout how the mighty have dang ol' fallen, man.
BILL: I heard it had something to do with the Internet.
DALE: Usually does.


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