The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "Rodeo Days"
Quotes from "Rodeo Days"
BOBBY (to a cow-shaped propane tank): So, is it premium or have you been regular?
LUANNE: The rodeo is cruel to animals. In nature, the bull lives peacefully with the giraffe.
DALE: Untie the Queen.
BOBBY: How'd you get that belt buckle? I want a belt buckle.
HANK: Son, you're going to be up against farm boys. But we've fed you like a farm boy, so go get 'em.
PEGGY: Rope him, tie him, grind him, fry him, take him home and mincemeat pie him!
ZIP: What do you want? I don't know what your mama told you, but I had a vasectomy in 1983.
BOBBY: The baby routine doesn't work. It's all talk. When the diaper explodes, we're like, "finally!" Then the doctor comes out and his bag explodes. What the heck does that mean? There's a logic to an exploding diaper gag. Kid cut a fart, fine. Why would the bag explode?
ZIP: If anyone asks, you're a midget.
JOSEPH: They've gotta let you be a clown. You're the funniest guy I know. Well... your dad's really funny.
BOBBY: Wow! I don't think even Kerri Strug could do that move in cowboy boots. Ohhh... Kerri Strug in cowboy boots!
HANK: I haven't heard the words "prop comic" since he picked up a rope. And it keeps him away from the video games. I caught him playing this Tomb Raider game where he was a girl!
ZIP: Cowboys. We save their butts when they get thrown, but they'll pull down your britches when you're talking to your woman.
BOBBY: What happened? The last thing I remember is getting kicked by a horse.
KID: They say rodeo clowns smell like cow-pies, but I hear it's the other way 'round.
HANK: Your first concussion. Now, don't fall asleep, son, both because you could die and because I want to tell you how proud I am. I mean, look at you, the bruises, the dirty clothes, the smell -- you're all right. Is there anything I can get you?
ZIP: Here's your ass-pad, son.
DOOLEY: Your lunch money had a Canadian quarter.
PEGGY: It's all my fault! My uncle wasn't a cowboy, Hank, he was a dirty drunken rodeo clown!
HANK: You're not only a clown, you're a thief. I don't know which is worse. (beat) Clown.
HANK: A circus clown is just a carny who's too stupid to flip a ride switch on and off. Now, you take a circus clown, roll him on the barn floor, kick him in the head a couple hundred times, and what have you got?
DALE: I love my boy. Don't you love my boy, Hank?
BOBBY: I'd much rather have one of your belt buckles.