"I am the Amazing Jesus!"

The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "Sleight of Hank"

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Quotes from "Sleight of Hank"
Written by Jonathan Aibel & Glenn Berger

HANK: You painted clouds?
BOBBY: White puffy clouds!

HANK: I don't like magicians. Don't trust 'em.
BILL: Ever since David Copperfield made the Statue of Liberty disappear.
HANK: Shame on him!

DALE: Nice work, John Redcorn. She didn't suspect a thing. (to Nancy) You are so clueless!

THE ASTOUNDING HERRERRA: For my next illusion, I will need a volunteer from the audience. A beautiful womans.

THE ASTOUNDING HERRERRA: What is your name, my lovely?
PEGGY: Me lamo Peggy Hill.
THE ASTOUNDING HERRERRA: Ah! You speak Spanish... in a way.

PEGGY: There is nothing more important to a magician than keeping secrets. Probably because so many of them are gay.

BOBBY: I'm gonna do my report on Jesus.
SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER: Oh, I love Jesus! Jesus is good, Bobby, very very good!

HANK: Any theories?
DALE: You're asking me if I have theories?
HANK: About the magic trick, Dale.
DALE: Oh, not a clue. (beat) Ah! It's done with twins. One Peggy in the pinata, the other Peggy in the audience.
BILL: Another woman who looks like Peggy? Smells like Peggy? Feels like P --
HANK: My wife does not have a twin.
DALE: You don't know that for sure and you never will. They destroyed the evidence when they blew up one of the Peggys.

LUANNE: I won't really disappear, I won't really disappear, I won't really disappear...

DOOLEY: ...But I only saw one set of footprints, 'cause God was holding me.

BOBBY: Good morning, ladies and gentlemen, I am the Amazing Jesus, son of God and master of prestidigitation! Has this ever happened to you? Your followers want a glass of wine, but all you have is water. Well, if you're the Amazing Jesus, no problem! Water into wine! It's a miracle! John 2:11. Thank you. Now you're going to need something to go with all this wine, maybe some bread. But how are you going to feed all these hungry people with just one slice? No problem, if you're the Amazing Jesus! Amen! It's a miracle, ladies and gentlemen! Mark 6:44. Thank you! Now, for my next miracle, I'll need a large wooden cross and a couple of volunteers.
HANK & PEGGY: No!!!!

BOBBY: Yeah, I'll get them to do something nice for each other! That's even better than my plan of turning them both against Luanne!

HANK: If you ask me, you've got too much imagination. Everything's all loop-de-loops and flibbertigibbets.

BOBBY: What's going on? You stopped fighting.
HANK: That's right.
PEGGY: Everything's just fine now, honey.
BOBBY: But how?
HANK: Well, your mother kicked me in the shins, I kicked her back, and... well, that's pretty much it.
BOBBY: That doesn't make any sense.
HANK: Sure it does. You see, I was mad, your mom was madder, and... uh... oh, heck, I guess it doesn't make any sense, but I guess it doesn't have to. There are some things you just can't explain.

BOBBY: And now, the pinata of death revealed. As soon as our volunteer gets in the burro, a flap beneath the tail opens. She steps out, puts on a pancho and sombrero, and dances offstage. The fire? Just a diversion. It appears our volunteer has vanished. Has she? Hardly. And that is the secret behind the pinata of death. Please don't tell my dad.

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