"Propane first, family second, and friends third."

The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "Snow Job"

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Quotes from "Snow Job"
Written by Cheryl Holliday and Alan R. Cohen & Alan Freedland and Jim Dauterive
Directed by Adam Kuhlman

PEGGY (as it starts snowing): Okay, I have been through this before in Montana. Nobody lick any flagpoles!

HANK: Good news, Buck. We can get propane to the nursing homes by diverting it away from the Museum of Modern Art. If anyone asks, it was a tough choice.

MR. STRICKLAND: Got-dang it, I'm having an infarction!

PEGGY: Hank's priorities are propane first, family second, and friends third. In that order.

VICKERS (writes "P.D.P." on the blackboard): Can anyone tell me what this means?
EMPLOYEE: You're gonna be doing drug testing?
VICKERS: You're thinking of "P.C.P." And yes, we are.

HANK: He has the nerve to give me flex time. That's what they give pregnant women and other disableds.
BILL: I don't know, Hank. Sounds like he's trying to empower you. That's the fifth building block of total quality management.

DALE: If you want, I can show you how to make a bomb out of a roll of toilet paper and a stick of dynamite.

BOBBY: What's a tattler?
HANK: It's a meter that tells the boss when the driver stops and for how long. It's designed to prevent goof-offs, lunch breaks, unscheduled stops -- all the things the drivers' union fought so hard for.

PEGGY: Meow! Meow! Look at me, I'm a kitty! Meow!

PEGGY: Oh, my Lord! The stove! It's not propane, it's electric!
HANK: No!
PEGGY: Yes!
HANK: Well, it had better be self cleaning, because I think I'm gonna vomit.

MR. STRICKLAND: I been usin' tattlers off and on for years. Back in the old days we used midgets, stuck 'em behind the seats with a bucket of ice to keep 'em cool. That's till OSHA came in and put them poor little people out on the street. That's what they like to be called, Hank, "little people."

HANK: I've been taking a long hard look at the propane business, and it's kind of like seeing a woman with her makeup off.
LUANNE: Sharona Johnson came to beauty school once with her makeup off, and nobody told her. (giggles) That was mean.

VICKERS: Fine! Quit! I've got a whole alumni newsletter full of friends I can call on. They'll drive those trucks just for the life experience.

MR. STRICKLAND (on the answering machine): Hank, it's your old buddy Buck Strickland. That Vickers mucked things up worse than Jack Kennedy at Piggy Bay. So I got no drivers, I got no right-hand man. I need you, old top, I need you bad.
(Luanne writes: "JACK KENNEDY CALLED")

HANK: Bobby! Bobby, get out here, boy! I'm leaving the propane business and opening a general store!
BOBBY: Okay.

HANK: General stores are "Ma and Pa." If you're not there, people are gonna make assumptions, like "Did Pa kill Ma?" They aren't gonna want to buy batteries from me if they think you're back in the freezer hanging from a meat hook. Am I wrong?

HUGH (on the machine): Mr. Hill, it's Hugh Jimmerson. My heat's gone out. I've tried wearing turtlenecks, but they make me look French.


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